Thanks for all the input guys.
DD's psychologist (who we saw yesterday) said its best to send her but continue what we're doing: documenting EVERYTHING (sores, weight loss, behaviour before and after visists, skin condition as she has eczema) and get reports from all involved in DD's care (GP, psych, pead, school). It may take a while, but eventually we will have a case to stop these visits, or force BF to have visits here in DD's home.
Its so hard. BF sounds so proactive on the phone (for my benifit no doubt) but then what is happening while shes there???? Psychologist believes its probably DD's step mother causing the harm while BF is at work. ARGHHHHHHHH. He rang last night and I told him everything the psych said (apart from making a case against him obviously!) and he seemed to take it on board. He knows DD isnt happy, and he knows I will be calling daily to check up on her.
Oh the psych also said to start training DD to recall her day, so she can tell me exactly whats going on in BF's house.