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  1. #1
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    Default She doesnt want to go :'(

    DD is almost 7, and lives with me. She have visits with BF for 1/2 of each school holiday. DD is autistic, and has a rough time expressing herself with words.

    2 nights ago she was laying in her bed at night crying. DP and I went in and asked what the problem was and after some time reassuring her she could tell us anything and that we'll try our hardest to fix whatever is worrying her, she told us she didn't want to go to her Dads (she goes this saturday for a week). She said she wants to stay home, she doesnt like it there.

    This morning again she had a mini meltdown saying she just wants to stay home

    I have informed BF of how DD feels, of what she's said and how she reacts when he calls or I speak about him. DD refuses to talk to him on the phone and has done for months.

    What can I do?????

  2. #2
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    don't send her.

    From memory - He treats her like crap as does his wife...she is not given her medication and comes back with infections.

    DON'T SEND HER!

  3. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to River Song For This Useful Post:

    HugsBunny  (02-04-2013),LivinOnAPrayer  (02-04-2013)

  4. #3
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    Maybe just send her for the weekend. I know when my sd comes she has a great time for a few days and then misses her mum. She finds it fun for a maximum of 4-5 days but any longer than this is hard on her. Maybe shorter but more regular stays...

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    Albert01  (02-04-2013)

  6. #4
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    Oh i wish wish wish i didnt have to, that i could just say STUFF YOU, but its court ordered :s At the moment, the peadiatritian is documenting DD's condition every time she returns from BF in hope to create a case to present to the court to stop the visits.
    Ive made DD an emergency Psychologist appointment for this afternoon, hoping for either documentation to say she shouldnt go or tips to make it easier for DD

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    If you breach orders...then he would have to go to court again to get something done.

    Do you think he would actually do that?

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    HugsBunny  (02-04-2013)

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    How is an order breached?

    A person breaches (contravenes) an order if he or she:
    1. intentionally fails to comply with the order, or
    2. makes no reasonable attempt to comply with the order, or
    3. intentionally prevents compliance with the order by a person who is bound by it, or
    4. aids or abets a contravention of the order by a person who is bound by it.
    Note: Parenting orders may be subject to a subsequent parenting plan. Get legal advice about this.
    What is a reasonable attempt to comply?

    When a parenting order is made, each person affected by the order must follow the order. This includes taking all reasonable steps to follow the order. For example, a parent has a positive obligation to encourage a child to spend time with the other parent (if this is specified in the order).
    What is a reasonable excuse?

    If a court decides a person has contravened a parenting order, it will consider whether the person had a reasonable excuse for contravening the order. Some examples of reasonable excuses that may satisfy the court include:
    1. the person did not understand the obligations imposed by the order, or
    2. the person reasonably believed that the actions constituting the contravention were necessary to protect the health and safety of a person, including the person who contravened the order or the child, and
    3. that the time of the contravention was not longer than was necessary to protect the health and safety of the person who contravened the order or the child.

  10. #7
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    Oh my goodness what a nightmare. That's great info from River Song, looks like you have a reasonable excuse to keep her home to me.

    I really feel for you, that would be so hard. I honestly don't think I could leave my child with someone if they were crying and saying the didn't want to go, but then the risk of them taking it further and possibly getting MORE time with her is even more scary. I've never been in this situation so have no advice but had to post, I really feel for you, what a crappy situation to be in

  11. #8
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    sorry, realised it did not copy the most important bit...he would have to go and file a contravention order. At which time, you can prove you were doing it to protect her...this is seen as a reasonable reason to break it.


    Penalties for breaching a parenting order

    A court can only penalise someone for breaching a parenting order if another person files a contravention application alleging the person did not comply with the order. After considering all the facts of the case and applying the law, a court may decide:
    1. the contravention alleged was not established
    2. the contravention was established but there was a reasonable excuse for contravention
    3. there was a less serious contravention without reasonable excuse, or
    4. there was a more serious contravention without reasonable excuse.

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  13. #9
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    I wouldn't send her. River Song had good advice.

    what a sucky situation to be in.

  14. #10
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    Poor little thing, how awful for her having to spend a whole week somewhere she isn't happy and comfortable

    I wouldn't send her, and I would tell him (in writing) exactly why you are not sending her. Hopefully the psychologist will back you up.


 

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