Thanks mummies what you say about processing is exactly like DD! It's as though most of the time she doesn't hear what's said & completely ignores requests, but if I get down on her level and (try) and make eye contact/speak slower, it's 'yes mum' and off she runs and does as asked (as long as its a simple request or she forgets/gets distracted)
Yesterday I asked DF to take a step back (discipline wise as he can be quick to jump the gun) & just watch what I am doing and judge for himself if she is better behaved. He actually did this, and can now see what I am saying, he however has no idea how to 'stage' his requests = I'm still the translator. He will learn but he is frustrated.