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  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    My nephew has aspergers and sounds very similar to your DD. TBH it's really hard to be around him at times, which breaks his mother's heart and ours too as we get no pleasure feeling that way.

    I'm certainly not an expert on ASD but I know for my sister she accepted that certain social interactions were beyond him until both he and she were able to manage the situation in a controllable way. Holidays with extended family are difficult enough I find with kids who aren't "a bit different" let alone a child who may be ASD. If it were me I would just try and get through it then maybe limit the time with your parent to shorter intervals and visits. It's taken my parents years to accept their nephew isn't "naughty". I realise you don't have a diagnosis yet but download info from the internet if you can now for them to read. I read lots about ASD to get a better understanding of my nephew, as did all our family.

    It's a difficult situation for everyone. In our parents' time there was no ASD, and "different" kids were often isolated and lonely. It's a big shift for their generation.
    I agree. My ds's friend has autism and his parents are good friends of ours so we also went to seminars, educated ourselves to learn more about the disorder. Made life easier for all of us. Op you should talk to your family about your little ones behaviour and that you are thinking there may be issues explaining you are awaiting a diagnosis. They will then hopefully be a little more understanding. If people don't know any different they will think the behaviour is nothing more than than parents not being able to control their naughty child. I admit I have been guilty of thinking this until I knew more about the situation.

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    Mummy Potato  (31-03-2013)

  3. #12
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    Thanks everyone I have read all your replies & thank you!

    I am sad to say we had a BIG family fight about DD tonight & DF,DD&I packed our bags and headed to the nearest resort.

    I over heard my sister saying some disgusting things about DD & my parenting. I confronted her. An argument erupted & in the end I pack all our things & left. Right now I don't want to see her ever again.

    I would like to find a support group of special needs children.

    I know I have no hope of getting some family to understand, but I would LOVE to know how to deal with/brush off those people.

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    VanityFey  (31-03-2013)

  5. #13
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    that is horrible ending... I was hoping that they'd be able to take a step back and see you're doing your best - now hoping the guilt kicks in when you get your diagnosis.
    I have a local support group in the town, but once you get your diagnosis there should be some links to face to face support groups. before then, maybe google the diagnosis you're suspecting and see if there's a forum or facebook group... or even look on here.

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    Mummy Potato  (31-03-2013)

  7. #14
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    Sorry to hear there was a big blow up. I don't know how anyone can fight over a poor little 2 (nearly3) year old girl. Can't people have a little bit of understanding??

    To be honest when you mentioned how you explained things to your daughter (how to take turns etc) I thought that made perfect sense... I took notes for when my boy is older.

    I summary it sounds like you really know how to interact with your child and you obviously have her best interests at heart. Everyone else can take their hoighty toighty opinions and shove them where the sun don't shine

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    Mummy Potato  (31-03-2013),risfaerie  (31-03-2013)

  9. #15
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    Tigers mum - my sister has gross delayed, global negative, behaviour symptoms herself. So I doubt she will ever see the truth as it is.
    P.S. I made this name up for her because she acts like a teenager & never has a positive thing to say.
    Last edited by Mummy Potato; 01-04-2013 at 06:42.

  10. #16
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    It's a shame that you, DF and your DD don't have the support of your family. I believe that when we are judgmental (and I say "we" because we all do it!), it's usually because we're unhappy with something about ourselves. Seeing faults in others and pointing them out makes us feel better about ourselves temporarily, but then worse in the long run.

    I think that your family's issues are more about them than your DD. You can ask them to calm down, but if they choose not to, you have to decide whether you're ok to be with them when you have DD with you. I'm not sure there's an easy way forward on this one, but hope you are ok. I would feel really hurt if my family didn't support, love and respect my DD.

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    Mummy Potato  (01-04-2013)

  12. #17
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    Hugs op. Families can be poo heads!

    My younger brother has Asperges and the amount of times my parents would get 'he's just being naughty' 'he needs time out/a smack' and all those wonderfully helpful comments, well lets just say if we had a dollar...

    I recommend searching the net, there are so many resources on the there these days full of useful information. You should also be able to find a support group that's close to you.

    Unfortunately you won't be able to get everyone to understand, it's just something you cannot change. You may find though that sending information through to family members and/or friends can help them to sort of grasp the situation.

    I wish you all the best. Just remember you are doing an amazing job.

  13. #18
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    I have a son with autism. He was diagnosed a day before his 3 rd birthday. He sounds like your daughter . This is not the end of the world trust me , you just have to parent differently as you are doing ( if that's what your dd has) .

    First thing, she is NOT a bad kid. Second, your a great mum finding out the ways to help her respond.


    If she has autism , the whole ordering a child thing will not work. The child is so worried about the world around them and routine of the world around them that they need some control to ease the sensory overload that maybe be painful ( noises can actually really hurt or cause anxiety for some , daylight can be too much for my son) that they freak out . Also they often have low self worth and feel failure at a young age so if you say " pick up the blocks now" it's not going to work " let's put these away together " is more likely to help but you also need to give plenty of time as they have a slower processing of words or may have limited comprehension . It's not an intelligence thing it's a processing thing . Parts of the brain are just not wired up the same. They can be so focused and brilliant for one task but may not multi task or multi respond to external goings on and demands.Plus add to that she is going through the terrible twos!!

    It's like asking someone who is paralyzed from the waist down to move their legs and them not doing it and getting mad at them. They want to but they cannot as the brain no longer connects. People have to be a bit kinder to you she is only two and not naughty , fustrated and overloaded sensory wise yes.

    Im not saying your daughter has autism I just wanted to give you an understanding from a parents point of view .You sound like your doing an amazing job xx

    my son was such hard work 2-3.5 ish( as all kids are!)but is awesome now and talking better , comprehending better,smart, Occassional melt down but I still have to parent him differently to my other two kids because he is different .


    good luck , hope she is just going through a phase but if she does have autism there is alot of info and help out there xxx

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    Mummy Potato  (01-04-2013)

  15. #19
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    Just read all the way through. So sorry your family are so unsupportive . So awful about the fight.

    Look up playconnect playgroups. They are listed on playgroup.com.au and are in many areas. They run groups for children and families of diagnosed and Undiagnosed children and you may find some support and direction there.

    So sorry your dealing with such unsupportive family members, parenting a child on the spectrum is very emotional and 100 times harder than anyone could imagen. This is not what you need. Hugs xx

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    Mummy Potato  (01-04-2013)

  17. #20
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    That's awful that your family aren't being supportive.

    I actually just read something for autisim awareness. Can't post the link as I'm on my phone but if you google beautifully quirky you should see it.

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    Mummy Potato  (01-04-2013)


 

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