mama and her little bearxxx (05-04-2013)
Unless you are in their home 24/7 you can really only surmise that his Mum is ignoring his biting. Or that the toddler is not "being raised appropriately".
In my work I have known many Mums who are really at the end of their tether but have tried to cover their despair with what might appear to a bit of defensive bluster and public bravado but are pretty much falling apart on the inside when it comes to their child's behaviour
Things are not always as they appear.
And have u thought perhaps the mother was mortified (your words) and embarrassed and that's why she laughed?? It could have just been her reaction to a bad situation. I know I have instinctively laughed out of pure embarrassment and shock at times from my kid's behavior.
I fail to see that bad parenting can make a child bite. It's instinctive, noting the patent does can stop or encourage it from happening in that nursery/tots age group.
I have 5 kids in our house and number 4 is a biter..... She only bites her sister directly older than her- has never bitten anyone else. After the first biting episode I called crèche and spoke to her room leader to get her to keep a closer eye on her and she was shocked that Miss H was biting. After careful observation we realised when Miss M took toys or was nasty Miss H bit her.... As her language is developing and she can say what she wants her biting has stopped (Thankgod as nothing worked). I guess what I am trying to say is it's generally a phase and generally there's a reason for it. Horrible for the child being bitten though (all of mine have come home with bites from crèche so I know how horrid it is)
I also never said bad parenting causes a child to bite, that would be ridiculous. I said IMO bad parenting doesn't at least TRY to control or deter the bad stuff. Yes many children go through a biting stage, but most parents would at least explain its not acceptable to the child in the hope of stopping it. They certainly wouldn't encourage it like this mother.
They also wouldn't teach their 2yr & 4yr olds to call the Asian carer a 'gook'. They also wouldn't teach them to push over kids that don't play nice. They also wouldn't laugh when the 2yr old kicks a carer in the shin over and over (I witnessed this incident, the mother didn't try to stop him). Laughing in this situation can not be put down to 'embarrassed', it's just plain disrespectful. The family are known in the area and not in a good way.
It's awful when your child comes home with bite marks so deep they have broken the skin time and time again, to then find out the mum laughs it off, among other things. So I stand by my comment of the child being a sh!t (due to his upbringing) and of bad parenting. I'm sorry if that is not a popular opinion, but I'm entitled to it.
OP sorry I've derailed a little now - I was trying not to, which is why I originally only referred to the biting incident with reference to 'a long story short'. But I don't want people thinking that I believe all biters are little sh!ts, or the mums aren't responsible parents, because I certainly know that's not the case.
I apologise if my post sounded otherwise, that wasn't my intent at all. I was purely referencing my experience with biting, as per the OP. I'm bowing out now.
I do feel that if your child is biting at day care quite out of normal child developmental behaviour then the parents should be working with the child care centre together to make a plan of action with different strategies to help your child. And i do believe that if parents don't want to work with the centre and help their child with this behaviour then they should be kicked out of the centre i know it seems unfair for the child who bites because they need help but is it fair for the same children day in and day being hurt. We have found out that another family left the centre because the same child bit them lots of times and this child has bitten and hurt other children as well.
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