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  1. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pesca77 View Post
    OP I feel for you. The same thing was happening with my DS1 for a few weeks. The same little sh*t was constantly biting him and other kids.

    The director spoke to the mum who responded with laughter, followed by 'kids will be kids'. Long story short, he has now been removed from the centre. Clearly this boy was not being raised appropriately so can't be blamed, but as a mum you can't help but get angry and want to bite them back after so many!!

    The problem I now have though is that DS now thinks biting is how he can get attention. When he doesn't get his way he will try and bite me on the arm or leg. Thankfully he hasn't done it to anyone else yet though, so hopefully it stops soon now that the other child is gone.
    But wait... Your child is now a biter and I assume you raised him appropriately and he's not a little ****.

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  3. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boobycino View Post
    But wait... Your child is now a biter and I assume you raised him appropriately and he's not a little ****.
    Read my above post....

    And thankfully he's only biting me so far, as I said I truly hope he doesn't start biting others because I would be mortified. Not ignoring and laughing.

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  5. #23
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    Unless you are in their home 24/7 you can really only surmise that his Mum is ignoring his biting. Or that the toddler is not "being raised appropriately".

    In my work I have known many Mums who are really at the end of their tether but have tried to cover their despair with what might appear to a bit of defensive bluster and public bravado but are pretty much falling apart on the inside when it comes to their child's behaviour

    Things are not always as they appear.

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    MissMuppet  (05-04-2013),peanutmonkey  (05-04-2013),sweetsugardumplin'  (06-04-2013)

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pesca77 View Post
    The biting for this child was just one of many issues - hence why he was asked to leave the centre. Calling him a little sh!t is unfortunately well justified.

    However before you all jump down my throat, please read the part where I described the mothers response! I also reiterated that the child can't be blamed because it's due to bad parenting.

    The 'mums of biters' have all expressed sadness and frustration at not being able to control your LO's behaviour - but you are at least trying and aware it's bad. Riversong you mention consequences even.

    This mum constantly laughed every time she was pulled to the Directors office about yet another incident & refused to try and discipline or do anything at home and said 'kids are just being kids'.

    So I stand by my original opinion - bad parenting. But it's not a reflection of all biters - my adorable niece was one too.
    Calling any child a little sh!t IMO is definitely not justified no matter the situation.

    And have u thought perhaps the mother was mortified (your words) and embarrassed and that's why she laughed?? It could have just been her reaction to a bad situation. I know I have instinctively laughed out of pure embarrassment and shock at times from my kid's behavior.

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  9. #25
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    I fail to see that bad parenting can make a child bite. It's instinctive, noting the patent does can stop or encourage it from happening in that nursery/tots age group.

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    I have 5 kids in our house and number 4 is a biter..... She only bites her sister directly older than her- has never bitten anyone else. After the first biting episode I called crèche and spoke to her room leader to get her to keep a closer eye on her and she was shocked that Miss H was biting. After careful observation we realised when Miss M took toys or was nasty Miss H bit her.... As her language is developing and she can say what she wants her biting has stopped (Thankgod as nothing worked). I guess what I am trying to say is it's generally a phase and generally there's a reason for it. Horrible for the child being bitten though (all of mine have come home with bites from crèche so I know how horrid it is)

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    Quote Originally Posted by mama and her little bear View Post
    I have worked in childcare,
    We had a child with special needs who was a biter and there was NOTHING we could do to teach him not to just supervise but sometimes things happen (especially when you are just ONE carer in 10 children)

    My nephew is a biter, my son has been bitten SO MANY times, it makes me angry but I also have to realise that they are JUST small children (not so much now, theyre nearly 3 and he still occasionally bites), some kids are biters, its not a matter of them being 'raised' wrong it is KIDS being KIDS and its not okay and needs supervision and intervention before the bite happens (which involves learning triggers, time out if the child reacts with teeth to frustration)
    I think this is what triggered my feelings on it. My DS2 has recently been seeing an OT for suspected SPD and biting is one issue we've been dealing with with him. It hurts when people assume its the parenting causing it, or any other behavioural issues in such a young child.

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    Quote Originally Posted by peanutmonkey View Post
    I think this is what triggered my feelings on it. My DS2 has recently been seeing an OT for suspected SPD and biting is one issue we've been dealing with with him. It hurts when people assume its the parenting causing it, or any other behavioural issues in such a young child.
    Peanutmonkey, please don't take my comments made on another child personally. The fact that you are doing something about your child's biting shows you don't condone it and that you're a good mum. Most mums I'm sure would be doing this.

    I also never said bad parenting causes a child to bite, that would be ridiculous. I said IMO bad parenting doesn't at least TRY to control or deter the bad stuff. Yes many children go through a biting stage, but most parents would at least explain its not acceptable to the child in the hope of stopping it. They certainly wouldn't encourage it like this mother.

    They also wouldn't teach their 2yr & 4yr olds to call the Asian carer a 'gook'. They also wouldn't teach them to push over kids that don't play nice. They also wouldn't laugh when the 2yr old kicks a carer in the shin over and over (I witnessed this incident, the mother didn't try to stop him). Laughing in this situation can not be put down to 'embarrassed', it's just plain disrespectful. The family are known in the area and not in a good way.

    It's awful when your child comes home with bite marks so deep they have broken the skin time and time again, to then find out the mum laughs it off, among other things. So I stand by my comment of the child being a sh!t (due to his upbringing) and of bad parenting. I'm sorry if that is not a popular opinion, but I'm entitled to it.

    OP sorry I've derailed a little now - I was trying not to, which is why I originally only referred to the biting incident with reference to 'a long story short'. But I don't want people thinking that I believe all biters are little sh!ts, or the mums aren't responsible parents, because I certainly know that's not the case.

    I apologise if my post sounded otherwise, that wasn't my intent at all. I was purely referencing my experience with biting, as per the OP. I'm bowing out now.

  13. #29
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    I do feel that if your child is biting at day care quite out of normal child developmental behaviour then the parents should be working with the child care centre together to make a plan of action with different strategies to help your child. And i do believe that if parents don't want to work with the centre and help their child with this behaviour then they should be kicked out of the centre i know it seems unfair for the child who bites because they need help but is it fair for the same children day in and day being hurt. We have found out that another family left the centre because the same child bit them lots of times and this child has bitten and hurt other children as well.


 

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