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  1. #1
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    Default biting at day care

    Just wanting to know if you think we are over reacting. My son attends day care four days a week. My son was bitten for the 8th time last week and my partner was letting me handle the situation but when we dropped him off on the Wednesday my partner had just walked out the gate and he was pushed over by a child.My partner went off and not in a nice way to the 2ic as the director wasn't in at that time.

    what do you think should happen when a child has bitten so many times, my partner had a meeting with area manager and director and found out that the same child had bitten him that many times. I was going to pull my kids out of the centre but my partner says that the child who has bitten should leave. what do you think?

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    8 times is a lot. Was it 8 times over a few months?? A week? How old is the biter?

    I'm just asking because my dd2 is a biter. She tends to just bite me or her sister but has bitten once or twice at daycare. This has been going on for the past 5-ish months and she is now 20months old. Nothing we do has stopped her. Yelling, smacking her hand, negative response, biting back, putting her in a 'time-out' etc we don't know what else to do with her.

    If the biter is too young, then vigilance is the only thing you/they/we can do.

    Big hugs for your little one.

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    DS was victim to a serial biter when he was about 2. Policy said they could not tell me who it was...and i do understand why.

    The daycare he was at was great...they were monitoring it and trying so hard to stop it....but, it still prob happened 10 or so times.

    Anyway, one day he told me that "Mia bite me" and I was really surprised as it was his and his cousins best friend...sure enough, I asked Mia's mum and she was "omg, they would not say who she had bitten" and was so horrified. They were doing everything...even making her suck a lemon after she bit as some sort of punishment. She was not being malicious or anything....just was bitey and my son was her target lol Half the problem for the daycare was that they loved playing together and would seek each other out...so keeping them away from each other was really hard.

    I would ask for a meeting with the director...find out if the family of the biter working with them to stop the habit. It is a very normal thing but I know how upsetting it can be when your child is getting hurt.

    Make sure there is an action plan, make sure that all staff are aware and that the other family is involved too.

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    The daycare centre has a duty of care to protect your child from harm. If the other child has a history of biting and the centre does nothing, they can be held legally liable. The centre needs to consider having an extra support person in the room to guide and facilitate play and social interactions and to role model conflict redolution to prevent any more children being harmed. Good luck

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    I can offer another side if thats ok?

    before my ds I was a ccw. In my group (2-3 s) I had a child (actually now I think of it, two at once) who not only bit, but pulled out clumps of hair and scratched, on the face.

    They parents were mortified, and the children would seek out the same targets each time. It was tough, and I felt awful for everyone involved.

    However, we worked really hard, observed the children and worked out when they were biting....one was mostly tired, the other had limited language. We learnt what situations they would be known to lash out in, and worked to avoid them, attempted to expand the childs vocabulary, and encouraged them to seeks us if they weren't coping. We gave the biting childrens patents copies of our plans, and they happily followed them at home one parent had pottery older children and was just out of her depth and had no idea what to try.

    if parents whos child had been bitten spoke to me, I had something I have them that outlines our strategies for how we handled biting, from any child, so they knew we were doing something. It took a while, but we stamped it out.

    Just want to ask... How can a centre punish a child with lemon?! I'm pretty sure thats not allowed?! Punishment isn't allowed, they should be focusing on guiding the childs behaviour to something more appropriate id be removing my child quick smart if I heard of this!

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    no, the parents did that...not the centre! It didn't work...she liked lemon lol They were just trying anything to get her to stop by the stage I spoke with the mum...she was horrified and it was not just my DS...she was going after her cousins and her friends out of daycare.

    Interestingly, DD has just started biting...she is targeting my DS! He has 3 massive bite marks now and he is 8! SHe is sneaky and fast...and I am just here with the 2 of them and he is trying to avoid getting bitten...and she is still getting him. Don't underestimate a 2 year old!

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    Ohhh whew lol I must have misread it

    Ouch! Your poor ds and yes they are very quick!! Hopefully you can curb dd soon!

    My ds has only bitten me (quite a few times) thankfully. I was worried he would bite at care but so far we havent had it happen...yet.

    My best progress with him was an exadurated inhale and "oh noooooo".. He is quite sensitive, and it made him shake and burst into tears. Hasn't happened since lol

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    after yesterdays bite (she drew blood ) i sat her down and had a big chat...i asked her if DS could bite her back and she was suitably horrified and said "no no, will hurt me" and so once she had sort of accepted that it hurts i asked her what she needed to say and she ran up and hugged him and said she was sorry and even kissed the bite better.

    So far today, no biting.

    I know it won't be that simple...but, getting her to understand that she doesn't want it done to her will hopefully help.

    Meanwhile...DS getting loads of praise for not swatting her away like a fly (he is 6 years older so really could) and is getting to go to the movies as a reward lol

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    well from what has been happening the child who has been biting has been moved up to the next room and the department of child safety is looking into it as the centre has to report the complaint to them. I would like to see some help for the child who has been biting though so they learn that this behaviour is not the right way. I do see all sides of the situation but at the end of the day my number one priority is my ds he has been coming home aggressive which is not like him at all usually he has a wonderful beautiful nature.

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    OP I feel for you. The same thing was happening with my DS1 for a few weeks. The same little sh*t was constantly biting him and other kids.

    The director spoke to the mum who responded with laughter, followed by 'kids will be kids'. Long story short, he has now been removed from the centre. Clearly this boy was not being raised appropriately so can't be blamed, but as a mum you can't help but get angry and want to bite them back after so many!!

    The problem I now have though is that DS now thinks biting is how he can get attention. When he doesn't get his way he will try and bite me on the arm or leg. Thankfully he hasn't done it to anyone else yet though, so hopefully it stops soon now that the other child is gone.


 

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