My apologies if this gets ridiculously long winded, I think I just need to get it off my chest.
It was November 2011, I had made some oops in taking the pill forgotten some and was late. It was five months before my wedding and as an aunty of four gorgeous kids the thought I may be pregnant excited me. Nothing happened.and.net fiancé suggested I stop the pill just incase I was pregnant and and any adverse affects it may have. Then as time went on the discussion turned to.well if it happens it happens we will just.not prevent it anymore. I had a withdrawl bleed/period that December and then nothing. Wedding came and went in April still nothing. Not concerned thinking it was the pill getting out of my system and the stress of a wedding I took the occasional pregnancy test just to be sure. June was my first period. It was the most painful of my life but of average flow and length. September still nothing went to gp who sent my to a gyno. Blood tests, ultra sounds, internal ultrasound nothing substantial. By this stage I had found ovulation tests and thought the shear chance I caught it we may get pregnant.....and we did. Two days of positive tests(multiple) I was so excited than day 3...bleeding....lots of bleeding. Further tests later on negative and I was convinced I had a chemical pregnancy. I was gutted. The months went on still nothing. Booked to see the gyno again end of Feb. Typical a week before I saw her I got a period. Uneventful, not too painful or long just average. The gyno put me on primolut for 5 days 3 times a day (week long bleeding after :-( and told to get blood test on 21St day ) And booked me in for laparoscopy, hestecopy d & c and dye test. I currently feel gutted. 16 months since I have stopped the l two periods and chemical pregnancy. I have no idea.what my procedures will show. A part of my wants answers and reasons....part of me doesn't. I know there are Pepe in worse situations but I can't help feel so sad and helpless watching ppl announce pregnancy and births on Facebook. So far I feel I have gotten nowhere in 16 months and at 25 about to celebrate my 1 year anniversary I was convinced I would be pregnant by now. If you have managed to read this far.thank you. I know it will happen eventually but right now it feels.bleak and I don't feel like I can really tell my story..how I feel...to anyone.