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  1. #1
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    Unhappy Newly single mum

    Hi everyone
    I have just joined and hoping to hear or get advice for our current situation. I'm 35 and have to gorgeous boys 2 & 5. I walked out of my home a week ago and left my husband. I had major surgery, was in hospital for 5 days, got out on a Thursday and walked out my front door the same night. We have been together 8 years married for 5. He has never been there for me, never shows any affection, no interest in his children and is down right lazy!!!! I even mow the lawns! But after being deserted in hospital I realised he simply didn't care, the children and I are an inconvenience for him, he was not happy that he had to take time off work to look after his children while I was in hospital. He wants this separation to be a trial????? Are you f$&n serious??? He is in our home and will not move out, the kids and I are at my brothers living out of a suitcase and sharing a bed! I could go on and on but it makes me so angry, sad and unloved. Please anyone that can advise on what to do next? Has anyone had an ignorant fool? I've been to centre link so I have the ball rolling with payments etc, he's also been calling me everyday for a chat like nothing's happened?any advice would be great

  2. #2
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    Sounds similar to when I left my ex 13 years ago. You sound like you've made a very carefully considered decision to leave him which i believe is the best way to go rather than having a heated argument an leaving when everyone is upset. Whatever you do next make sure you take time to think about what's right for you and your boys and don't be talked into what other people or your ex thinks you should do. My daughter was 3 when we separated but she has always had a good relationship with her dad and has been able to choose who she spends weekends with without pressure from either parent or arguments between us about that.
    All the best. Do what you believe is right but remember kids need the opportunity to love and respect both parents

  3. #3
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    Sounds like you didn't have any support at all. Must have been very hard....

    Hope things improve for you soon. Have you got legal advice as to who gets what re the house.?

  4. #4
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    Hi there. I'm sorry your (now) ex wasn't there for you especially while you were in hospital. It sounds like you have made the right decision for you and your children. I know it will be hard at first especially when you don't have a place of your own to live in but if you speak to legal aide hopefully you get priority over the house than him. If not I hope you find somewhere to rent/buy soon.
    As for him calling you every day acting like nothing has happened, it's probably him hoping deep down that you'll come back to him. Stick to your guns & do whats best for you. I think you're doing well by already speaking to Centrelink, speak to legal aide, or a solicitor about your property & your rights. I hope your recovering well & take things a day at a time.

  5. #5
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    Thanks everyone for the support, it's just so hard and I want my kids to see their Dad and I'd never take that away from them or him. I loved and was so in love with this man he has broken my heart and honestly the thought of another man horrifies me. I resent him for never being there for me with my own head space now I'm remembering so many times he should have been there for me and his sons and it was just too hard for him. I will seek legal aide after the Easter break in regards to the house and contents. We have agreed on every 2nd weekend he will have the boys, this weekend being Easter it is my w/e so I asked him if he'd like to see the boys on Sunday, his response " I'll see them from 10 till 2"!!!! So they have gone from an inconvenience to an appointment! I hope he will one day realise what he lost.

  6. #6
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    Hi OP how are you going? Hope you and your boys are well.


 

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