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  1. #1
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    Default Scared!!

    Hi Ladies, I am 39 weeks pregnant with my second and I am absolutely terrified of giving birth again. I have been completely calm throughout my pregnancy but I have been having flashbacks of my last birth and I am freaking out. My first bub was 4.2 kg, I was in labour for 43 hours after being induced, she got stuck and I had a forceps delivery complete with an episiotomy (I was at risk of 3rd degree tearing) and a litre of blood loss... not fun!! I have tried talking to my midwives but they are really into natural birth and have a sort of "you'll be right" attitude. My baby is already measuring at 4 kg and they said that they won't induce me until I am ten days overdue, which know is normal but I'm scared that if I go that many days over that the baby will be even bigger than last time and I am not the biggest of people, I have a small frame, I'm only 5ft1!!!! Also my blood isn't clotting as well as it should and they don't seem concerned by this even though I lost so much blood last time. I am sorry for the whinge and the rant but basically my question is, do you have any tips on calming birth fears and has anyone experienced feeling like midwives aren't listening to your concerns?? Thanks ladies

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    Ours births sound so much the same! Ate u seeing an obstetrician? I would tell him/her your fears. They may listen more. Tell them you are getting quite anxious and worked up about it and u really want it to be a calm beautiful time and what can they do to help u. If your not seeing an ob just tell your midwife the same and if they keep dismissing you just say that u really need help your really scared and u have to help. Just be desperate and they will have to listen to u. Xx

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    LeahsMum16  (28-03-2013)

  4. #3
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    Ohh I feel for you as I was similar. Had my 2nd 8 weeks ago. First was 4kg and days of labour plus episotomy forceps as 1.2L loss. They thought this was bigger so I freaked out.
    After 3 failed inductions it was waters then syntocin. I asked for an epidural as soon as possible as I was worried again after last labour. I got epidural at 2cm then slept for a while. 5 hours later was fully dilated (took over 20 last time from syntocin) pushed for about 30mins (last was 2 hours) and was up showering within an hour. I needed my original episiotomy recut but such a different experience and minimal blood loss.
    I think as I didn't have hours of fighting the pain it didn't aggravate things inside? Either way I'm glad I had a 2nd as I've now had a positive (virtually painless) experience

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    LeahsMum16  (28-03-2013)

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    You need to talk to your ob, you could ask to have the epidural/spinal block. That way if things seem to be heading the same way as last time you are already preped for a c-section. I know it might not be what you would like but, it could be a safe and comfy option for you. The biggest thing is to relax and try not to tense up with the pain of the contraction as that prolongs labor. Speak to your ob and tell them you will labor for 8 hours then you could choose to have a c-section. There is no law saying you have to have a viginal birth especialy as your first baby was so big. Every birth is diferent but, remember it is your body, your baby, your choice and if that means shouting and crying and throwing a tantrum to get what you wznt, well this is one of the few times you can do it and get away with it, just blame it on the hormones.

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    LeahsMum16  (28-03-2013)

  8. #5
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    Thankyou everyone. I don't have an OB but I am seeing a midwife next week on my due date and my lovely partner is coming with me for this one (he has a month off work to help yay!!) so I will have a bit of back up, I will take your advice and insist they listen. Thanks for the advice, last time I was so overwhelmed I just went with it but you are all right, it is my body, my baby and I want it to be a beautiful experience this time, not something I look back on with regret and sadness!! Thanks again xx

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    HeatherRob  (31-03-2013),Mmumm  (28-03-2013)

  10. #6
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    I hope all goes well for you and you have a comfy delivery. It is lovely that your partner is going with you and is takeing maternity leave to help you. :-)


 

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