Rare VENT about DH/HH (Horrible Husband)

**FOURtunate** · 09-11-2006 07:19

The past couple of days I have been steaming at the ears with HH (Horrible Husband).

He's been going mental over little things. Snapping at me and the kids. And this morning, he wanted to know why we always run out of milk and bread (Four kids? No S**T Sherlock!).

He'd rather eat the last of the bread so that I have to go out with psycho 2.5 year old to get more for the kids lunches. And when I get upset about it, I don't say anything. I retreat to the laundry to calm down over some washing. But for some reason he likes to say that I've started a fight!

He is constantly upset about the "state of the house"

(FOUR KIDS!!!) Okay our house is not prisitine, but when people drop in unannounced, they ALWAYS comment on how tidy it is. Yes in the mornings there are dirty dishes from breakfast, and lots of washing. Normal stuff though right?

And now he's just called me on his way to work asking me not to be angry with him. I'm sitting here crying while I type this because I am so frustrated

The bizarre thing about it is, other couples we know fight about the state of their relationship compared to ours. It looks pretty perfect from the outside. And he is a lovely guy, who I totally adore. But I am finding his demands, coupled with those of a two year old, very difficult to keep up with.

Sometimes I feel like I'm supposed to keep the house going as though there are no kids in it.

Am I the only one?

**spoon** · 09-11-2006 07:43

You are so not the only one honey. I am sorry you are sitting there all by yourself crying. But you know he loves you when he rings you saying please dont be angry.

Okay so here are the facts...

You have three older children. Old enough to start helping around the house. Start them now.

You run out of milk and bread because you have four children. Get him to buy some and bring it home every afternoon.

I dont really know how things are done over there and i am not meaning to boss you around. I am just saying that you have to get your message across to him.

Get him to look after the kids one night a week and go to community colledge and do something you feel like doing.

But keep your chin up honey.

Last night I got so angry with my HH because he came home and i told him i had been crying and feeling sick all day because i am pregnant. He did not even pat my shoulder or anything. GGGRRRRRRR Men are just dumbos sometimes hon.

**FOURtunate** · 09-11-2006 07:49

Yes. The kids do need to do a bit more to help out.

And he could buy the milk and bread on the way home. And he does sometimes. But the past few days he has been a PSYCHO!

I do have all Friday to myself, so I do get to have time alone. Mind you, I deserve it. My 2 year old is so very difficult atm.

Poor you about last night though. I was tired and sick throughout my preganancies, and DH/HH was thankfully at my beck and call throughout all of them. Maybe I'm being punished

**bronny-jane** · 09-11-2006 08:00

my dh has been snapping at me lately too......calling me useless

.......cause the house isnt as clean as it should be......um yeah....i know a$$hole, why dont you help out........cause i work and earn the money, your suppossed to look after the house, everyone else can do it why cant you........cause i have a 7 week old baby attached to me, who only naps 1 hour if that between feeds during the day......a 3 and a 2 yearold who just love to trash everything....and a useless c##t who spends his time at home in front of a lap top

yeah i know what your going through..

yep im a bad house wife......but a great mum

**EskimoMumma** · 09-11-2006 08:10

How old is he? I'm thinking its either a)a midlife crisis or b) that time of the year for DH's to turn into HH's..

Sometimes our DH's/HH's turn into moody snappy biatches like some of us. (including me lol)

I know it must be sooo hard, my house isnt 100% all the time. I'm starting to think about hanging a sign that says my house was clean yesterday or something. With my pregnancy i am finding i am having 1 clean/perfect housewife/mum day and the next im on the couch unable to move

I would suggest ignoring what he says, making a list of what he says word for word so when he calms down a bit you can tell him again what he said to you.

**spoon** · 09-11-2006 08:11

I am so serious when i say this guys. Men have it so freakin easy the way they just get to go out the door everyday go to "Work" and then come home. I would swap places with my dumbo anyday.

I am trying to start a business from home and i keep saying it is hard for me because i dont know anyone who is doing the same AND i dont have anyfriends around here that i see. He says we do know people who have done it i say who and he says my DAD and his DAD. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! They are MEN and they NEVER had to lift a finger to raise there children it was just all done for them.

Now rest assure that if for some reason i too work in a prissy office I would STILL be the one doing EVERYTHING.

Men are dumbos and i say strike.

It is not good enough that he is yelling and screaming at you hon. I dont think i would be putting up with it. I dont know what you should do.

**EskimoMumma** · 09-11-2006 08:14

Yup..Its kinda sad when we all know for 100% without a doubt our HH's wont do anything still when we are working as well. We will still be doing all the washing, all the dishes, the straightening up the bed times..

Apparantly DP reckons he will start helping out. I only half believe him because he actually did when we first got together and i was working.(but then we only had my DS so hmm

)

I hope you feel better today. I aqm finding i have really down days too with this pregnancy, its starting to annoy me..

**tootiredtosleep** · 09-11-2006 08:28

My DH is usually pretty good and has adjusted to a messy house pretty well after years of living alone. If he ever comments, I just say "yeah, it is a mess!"

He does have an annoying habit of asking ME where everything is though! Like I know where every item in the whole house is kept. I guess this is because alot of the time I will tell him the formula is "in the pantry, middle shelf, on the left". He now expects it for everything.

Or when he asks "what are we dressing DD in?"
Excuse me, but YOU are the one dressing her and I am trying to get ready too, so put CLOTHES on her!

I'm sure your HH's phase will pass. It might be him just trying to pay a bit more attention to the running of the house and getting it horrbily wrong! Men think that they keep the family going, but we know the truth!

**Angelmist♥** · 09-11-2006 09:04

Oh dear, it must be the moon alignment or something because my usually DH has turned into HH as well!He's been snapping at me and telling me the house is messy and I'm lazy GRRRRR!

I had a go at him about it last night and he took us all out for tea, then got up and made eggs for breaky and got DS1 ready for school

Hopefully it keeps up!

Good luck girls

**SweetSerenity** · 09-11-2006 09:11

Originally Posted by EskimoMumma

Yup..Its kinda sad when we all know for 100% without a doubt our HH's wont do anything still when we are working as well. We will still be doing all the washing, all the dishes, the straightening up the bed times....

Ha so true!
I work three days a week and on my days off guess who;s tyring to catch up with all the house work, grocery shopping, etc etc....ME!!!!!!!! But because he works those two extra days well it is my job! ha ha ... MEN!

I agree with one of the other mums that your older childrens hould start helping more, and tell all of them (including hubby) that regarding dishes you will leave water in the sink for them to wash there own dishes up after their meals!!!

I hope he starts appreciating you more sweety