Seriously every baby is so different. We do have to trial and error a bit (but not to traumatise our baby. Which mum would anyway?!) in order to find what works best for our baby and our family.
My DS1 would cry for a long time for everything (up to 45 mins) when we had to train him out of dummy and to sleep when he woke and stood at his cot. It was tough.
But DS2 would grizzle and protest for a short while and falls asleep, so I dont mind him crying a bit cos he doesnt do it for long and gets distressed. He is just winding down to sleep. I put him down in his cot at 110pm and he fell asleep at 115pm...5 mins and no noise!
I really do believe that if I hadnt started training DS2 this early, he would probably end up like his bro and I will surely be a grumpier mum to both of them cos I am sleep-deprived...and that wont be good when I drive to send/fetch DS1 to/from school with two kids in the car, I do need to be clear-minded to drive and not end up in a car crash cos I am so tired (touch wood).
I dont believe any mum would CC just to have an easy way out. I am sure it's out of desperation and the last resort.
OP, my baby has been gently trained from carry/pat/sleepy/cot to cot/pat/shh/sleep. I pat and ssshh cos I didnt want to see him cry. I kept telling myself he can self settle and I am just assisting him a little. BUT he still wakes at night twice needing resettling, so in honesty I have no idea if he can self settle or not. Anyway I think since I have let him cry to self settle last night twice and it didnt take too long for him, I would do it for all his naps today. I have to be consistent cos I cannot afford to confuse him.He amazed me. He went to sleep so easily for his two naps today.
Hopefully whatever method you decide to use in the end, all of you will get the sleep you needed.