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  1. #41
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    Seriously every baby is so different. We do have to trial and error a bit (but not to traumatise our baby. Which mum would anyway?!) in order to find what works best for our baby and our family.

    My DS1 would cry for a long time for everything (up to 45 mins) when we had to train him out of dummy and to sleep when he woke and stood at his cot. It was tough.

    But DS2 would grizzle and protest for a short while and falls asleep, so I dont mind him crying a bit cos he doesnt do it for long and gets distressed. He is just winding down to sleep. I put him down in his cot at 110pm and he fell asleep at 115pm...5 mins and no noise!

    I really do believe that if I hadnt started training DS2 this early, he would probably end up like his bro and I will surely be a grumpier mum to both of them cos I am sleep-deprived...and that wont be good when I drive to send/fetch DS1 to/from school with two kids in the car, I do need to be clear-minded to drive and not end up in a car crash cos I am so tired (touch wood).

    I dont believe any mum would CC just to have an easy way out. I am sure it's out of desperation and the last resort.

    OP, my baby has been gently trained from carry/pat/sleepy/cot to cot/pat/shh/sleep. I pat and ssshh cos I didnt want to see him cry. I kept telling myself he can self settle and I am just assisting him a little. BUT he still wakes at night twice needing resettling, so in honesty I have no idea if he can self settle or not. Anyway I think since I have let him cry to self settle last night twice and it didnt take too long for him, I would do it for all his naps today. I have to be consistent cos I cannot afford to confuse him.He amazed me. He went to sleep so easily for his two naps today.

    Hopefully whatever method you decide to use in the end, all of you will get the sleep you needed.

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  3. #42
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    Quote Originally Posted by becandabub View Post
    I am anti-cc for various reasons but mainly because I really would not like to only be afforded certain types of comfort if I was upset myself. DD rarely cries but I know if I didn't action her distress quickly she would get worked up rather than going to sleep anyway. I believe she rarely cries because DP & I see to her needs quickly at all times - overnight included. This approach wouldn't work for everyone I am sure, and at times I do feel drained (like today, after rocking her for over an hr at 3am) but we are very attached to one another & I can't bear the thought of her ever thinking I don't want to cuddle or comfort her for any reason. So she has my full attention whenever she needs it & it works for us so far. She's an absolutely rubbish sleeper.
    You know I am anti-CC in theory too..I don't like my bubs crying by any strech, who does?? BUT my DD by 6mths was a mess, she simply would not sleep anywhere except my arms...and I had to be standing or walking...I could not sit and rock, I could not bed share, standing and walking only. It was killing me! Actually we were both an exhausted mess as neither of us were getting any quality sleep. And that is not healthy for babies or mummies. So we did the CC "shush/pat" method (after a stay at Ngala Sleep school), and after 3 days we both were able to get some uninterrupted sleep.

    I find it a little judgemental for it to be implied that my child didn't have "my full attention" when she needed it, or that I didn't want to cuddle or comfort her for any reason...I did want to, and I did that for over 6mths, and it was a disaster for our family. She was crying all night anyway! Every bub is different, and with a little knowledge (I was a first time mum with my DD) we can make our parenting journeys just a little bit more enjoyable. And we shouldn't hold parents in judgement for that - we are all doing the best we can, what works for one doesn't always work for another.

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  5. #43
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    I feel for the mums who's bubs don't bedshare well. I don't know how I'll cope next time if future babies don't sleep well next to me!
    Last edited by Sarelou; 28-03-2013 at 14:20.

  6. #44
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sarelou View Post
    I agree with this. I will never practice CC as I believe I had a baby to be a mother, not to make him/her fit into MY lifestyle.

    The awful thing about CC is that the baby does learn to self settle, but only because she learns that it doesn't matter if she cries, no one is coming to meet her cries. So she gives up. That's just so sad to me

    That is obviously not a scientific study, just the opinion of a Mummy
    As opposed to me who has 3 kids two of which I used controlled crying and I clearly only had them for fun and those 3 nights of CC makes me not a mother and I have now fit them into my lifestyle?!

    Controlled crying still involves tending to a whinging baby at intervals. Their is a very big difference in a cry and a scream.

    I was pretty much a single mum with my first hubby worked interstate for upto 6 weeks at a time and it was like when he was home we had no time together because one of us was always stuck settling for upto 3 hours a night. I think it's important to have time together as a couple also especially when you only get a certain amount of it together as it is.
    Then with the second I felt like all my energy was put into settling the baby all day everyday and I felt like I was neglecting my husband and my toddler.
    So how does that turn CC into fitting in with my lifestyle and me not being an adequate mother in your eyes. It was how I could be a better mum to both children and a better wife to hubby and it worked and my kids are loving snuggle pots who I can't recall ever saying remember that time you let me whinge in my cot.

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    babyla  (28-03-2013)

  8. #45
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kelly8329 View Post
    As opposed to me who has 3 kids two of which I used controlled crying and I clearly only had them for fun and those 3 nights of CC makes me not a mother and I have now fit them into my lifestyle?!

    Controlled crying still involves tending to a whinging baby at intervals. Their is a very big difference in a cry and a scream.

    I was pretty much a single mum with my first hubby worked interstate for upto 6 weeks at a time and it was like when he was home we had no time together because one of us was always stuck settling for upto 3 hours a night. I think it's important to have time together as a couple also especially when you only get a certain amount of it together as it is.
    Then with the second I felt like all my energy was put into settling the baby all day everyday and I felt like I was neglecting my husband and my toddler.
    So how does that turn CC into fitting in with my lifestyle and me not being an adequate mother in your eyes. It was how I could be a better mum to both children and a better wife to hubby and it worked and my kids are loving snuggle pots who I can't recall ever saying remember that time you let me whinge in my cot.
    The OP asked for opinions and I gave mine. I also further clarified in my next post that I speak from a place of having one baby who is a good sleeper.

    I don't recall ever having met you or saying "you aren't an adequate mother in my eyes" thanks very much.

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  10. #46
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sarelou View Post
    I agree with this. I will never practice CC as I believe I had a baby to be a mother, not to make him/her fit into MY lifestyle.
    Up until this comment I also felt it was going well also.

    Mother's who choose to use, are forced to use ,whatever, are no less a mother than those who do not use cc. Most families - not just mothers - who try cc are doing so out of desperation not because it is a 'lifestyle' choice for them.

    There is no way my DS will bed share either for numerous reasons, he would hate it, we would hate it, nobody would sleep, I worry my DH would roll onto him, the list goes on, bed sharing is not the answer to every sleepless households worries.

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  12. #47
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    Quote Originally Posted by babyla View Post
    Up until this comment I also felt it was going well also.

    Mother's who choose to use, are forced to use ,whatever, are no less a mother than those who do not use cc. Most families - not just mothers - who try cc are doing so out of desperation not because it is a 'lifestyle' choice for them.

    There is no way my DS will bed share either for numerous reasons, he would hate it, we would hate it, nobody would sleep, I worry my DH would roll onto him, the list goes on, bed sharing is not the answer to every sleepless households worries.
    I have also stated above that I feel for mums who's baby's don't bedshare well. Just because its my solution obviously doesn't mean it will be everyone's. We are all different and all entitled to our own ways of parenting and own opinions.

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  14. #48
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    I'm opposed to cry it out, I don't see the harm in cc within reason. I won't leave my Bub to cry alone but a little sooky (winding down) before sleep isn't going to harm her She's a great sleeper most of the time, and is generally happy to go to bed. Every now and again I have to rock her off to sleep, but it's only because she's over tired or feeling off. I couldn't leave her to cry and scream when she obviously needs some comfort (any more then I'd ignore an adult crying and in need of a hug).


    Sent from my iPhone using Bub Hub app

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    Mom2TwoDSs  (28-03-2013)

  16. #49
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    I did my own version, it involved DD crying a bit (longest was 5 mins), but it did also involve some reassurance cuddles at times. I just went with what felt right.

    I did that at 12 months and DD went from full time cosleeping and breastfeeding all night....to sleeping through 11-12 hours straight (no wake ups), in her own cot all night. She's coming up to 18 months and still consistently sleeps through (barring illness or teething). She also sleeps 1.5 - 2 hours during the day)

    I'm so glad I did it, I work full time so it's really important that I get my sleep!

  17. #50
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    Oh and it took DD about 3 nights for the above.


 

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