Ok. Our entire story.
DD is 2y 8m. She has never been a great sleeper.
One year ago her father and I separated. I live at home with my Mother now, in a 4 bedroom home with my 2 brothers (19 & 21) and my brothers girfriend. DD and I have no choice but to share a bedroom, and a bed.
Her father and I have 50/50 shared care. At his house she has her own room and bed, etc. He has every single thing that we had in our house, everything I have I had to scrounge for, or buy second hand. I have no means to get a house of my own and have tried sharing and it beyond didn't work.
DD is still sleeping awfully. We have a rough routine which is fine, but varies when she doesn't "go along" with it. Which is most days. Dinner is roughly 6pm, shower at 6.30ish, quiet play until 7.30ish then bed.
Her father has her Wed night through until Saturday/Sunday afternoons (alternates each fortnight).
My problem is, at LEAST one night out of every block, we have a night of hysterical whinging/crying/refusal to sleep until at least 11pm. It gets as bad as every night some weeks. This week has been good - until tonight.
Half of my issue is my f***ing mother, who decides coming in and trying to parent DD will make things better. I'm so damn sick of it but there IS NO TALKING to this woman. No reasoning, no "Maybe thats not the best approach", no "Hey, back off". I'm the one to blame, it's my fault DD does this because I let her.
My main question is WHAT DO I DO? When she is hysterical and upset, what do I do? I don't agree with, or feel right, locking her in the bedroom screaming because she HATES having the door shut. I also can't just let her run around because she will NOT just wear herself out, she would go all night if I let her.
She works herself up to the point of almost vomiting. I'm at a loss. I'm at the point where I'm honestly beginning to believe maybe she'd be better off if I just gave her to her father full time because that's what an awful job I am doing.
ETA: I don't live with my OH, we're in a long distance relationship.