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  1. #1
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    Default Is your 3.5 year old this high maintenance?

    Or do I have a special one?? I just can't entertain him every minute of every day. It's seriously damaging our relationship because most of the time I can't stand to be near him with the endless haranguing.

    He must be within 2 metres of me at all times, follows me around the house like a shadow so I literally bump into him all the time.

    The few times he IS managing to play quite happily with lego or playdoh (I must be very close by for this to happen), as soon as I leave the room he drops everything and comes with me (whinging and complaining the whole way).

    Endlessly asks me to play with him - refuses to do anything without my DIRECT interaction. If I'm washing up for example will stand and just whinge at me even though he has a massive play area in the same room with many toys.

    I realise it sounds like he's desperate for attention and he does seem to be but there's nothing I can do that appeases him. I try to do lots of positive attention with him but it's just never enough for him. I can play with him one-on-one for an hour but then as soon as I need to do something else the whingeing and trouble-making/attention-seeking behaviour starts IMMEDIATELY. And I must admit I get sick of making efforts to play interesting things with him because his behaviour is just so exhausting.

    This has been steadily getting worse for the past 9 months (started several months before his baby brother arrived).

    Am I expecting too much?? I mean I would have thought by 3.5 I could expect a decent amount of independent play?? He goes to kindy which he seems to love and do really well at but it's only a 5 day fortnight.

    So do you have a 3 year old like mine??!?! How do you survive??

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    I will add that when I do play with him, he's not easy to play with. Endlessly picks arguments, goes off into moods etc. E.g. "noo, I want that lego, you can have this one." "NO IT'S NOT a plane!! It's a BOAT (hysterical)" "Noo I don't want to be the captain (goes off in a huff)". Gets tiring VERY quickly.

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    Sounds like my DD who is also 3.5yrs old.

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    Could you imitate what would happen in a playground situation. Eg, when he says "noo, I want that lego". Than fold your arms, turn around and say, "well, I'm not going to play with you if your not going to share your toys with me". And sit there with your back to him? Not sure if it would work but it worked with a friends daughter of mine when she was about 4 and we had both picked a page to colour but when it came time to colour my page, she didn't want to. So, I turned my back, folded my arms and said "I'm not colouring in with you then if you don't share". She soon changed her mind and we got back to colouring.

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    Hes sounds exactly like my DS1 was!! He still is very attention needy and has a major motor mouth but as he's gotten older and we've had more children and dogs he now plays with it has eased up a bit. I know it sounds harsh but you need to do other things in a day too so he's going to have to learn you wont give him attention all the time! As for the dictator attitude while playing I agree you could react how people would in the real world so he can learn to accomodate for others more and learn more empathy. The good thing about it is he will likely be a natural leader which if moulded properly could do him well in his adult life

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    OP I think I could have written your post word for word. My DD is 3.5 years old too, on top of her needing my constant attention and interaction, she talks to me non stop. I love her more than anything, but she is driving me insane. . I'm hoping she will grow out of it, but I'm not liking my chances. I think she is just one of those people who love and need human interaction.

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    SpecialPatrolGroup is offline T-rex is cranky until she gets her coffee.
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    Could you set out a routine of your/his day with some set times of play with mummy, where he gets to set the pace of the game and you follow his lead (within reason) so that he knows that he is going to be getting time with you and then he can play by himself at other times. You could use images to set out a time line of the day for him, ie, pictures of breakfast, free play, morning tea, play with mummy, quiet time, lunch, tv, nap, afternoon tea, mummy play, etc etc.

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    He sounds like my 3 yr old ds. He wants constant interaction and hates to play alone. It drives me crazy at times. I think a routine is a good idea. I also read that short, frequent play sessions across the day than one really long one makes more impact. Reacting like a child in your play with him also makes sense. It works with mine.


 

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