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  1. #1
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    Default Feeling overwhelmed - vent

    Im overwhelmed.

    My dh and I have been having issues for over a year. I know that Im self righteous but I find him extremely ungrateful, he also has major mood swings, bordering on depression (someone at work actually told him they thought he should go see a counsellor as they thought he had it too). On Monday he got made redundant. He wont let me comfort him or discuss anything what so ever. I know his pride is bruised but I thought we were a team and that we worked together. But being with him is ruddy hard work and I would say that I am less and less happy (although Im not at the point where I want to leave). But I have 2 beautiful boys who I love and so my focus is them, which means that although Dh is home now, I still run late for work because my slacker dh does the bare minimum in regards to the kids so I have to pick up the slack.

    So on top of that..
    1) I dislike my MIL and she, FIL and BIL do the best they can to drive a wedge between me and DH. And most of the time they succeed.
    1) My dad has been battling cancer for about 3 years. Tomorrow he has his 3rd operation to cut more cancer out of his liver.
    2) I found a lump on my brest about a week ago. I had a mammo & ultrasound. The sonographer told me there was no need for a biopsy (which I thought was a good thing at the time). However there were some little ‘bits’ on my other brest which they wanted to take pics of. Then this morning I got a call from my gp’s secretary asking ‘whether I was going to go to see a specialist’…Well now im freaked out over this as well.

    I always considered myself a tough cookie but im just burnt out. My mum is the only one who helps me out and offers advice. She listens, tells me to calm down but also feels very sad for me.
    On top of that, there is no work for DH in NSW (his industry is just dead in this state) and so the only offers for work he is getting are from Perth. We have noone there. Its not FIFO work, its work in perth and then possibly travel to site on an adhoc basis. I will always support him in his career, but with things the way they are between us, with my dad and to a lesser extent my DS1 (has just started preschool and loooooooooooooooves it, so Id be really to have to take him out of that particular school), I don’t want to go.

    Do I have a right to feel overwhelmed, and a bit sorry for myself?

  2. #2
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    In a word...yes! That is a huge amount to have going on, my goodness I feel for you. I have no advice or suggestions for you, but I do have sympathy.

  3. #3
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    Hugs Hun, I couldn't just read this and not reply.

    You have every right to feel overwhelmed and a bit sorry for yourself, it seems like things are a bit full on for you at the moment. Be kind to yourself and give yourself a moment to take a deep breath. I hope things start to get better for you and your DH finds a new job and your results come back good.

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    Yes, yes you most certainly do!

    I really don't have practical advice. Just many many hugs for you. I hope you fathers operation goes well and that you are also ok.

    Is it at all possible to try and have another talk with your husband? Obviously he would be feeling more down at the moment but he has to realise all is not rosy for you either.

    Again, many hugs to you.

    Sent from my GT540 using BubHub

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    Oh sweetheart - you have absolutely every right in the world to be feeling overwhelmed. Any one of the things you listed would be enough to overwhelm me - let alone the whole fat list at once!

    I hope your DH is able to find work soon, is he considering looking outside his industry? I can totally understand why you wouldn't want to move to Perth given your Dad's health especially. I really hope that your Dad's operation goes well today too. I tend to lean on my parents for support a lot but my mother has cancer so feel like I can't really complain to her and she worries a lot too. If it helps you calm down by talking to your mother though by all means I still would, I am sure she would want to help you where she can.

    I also hope all your test results come back clear, I know just how stressful that can be.

  6. #6
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    I'm not suprised you feel snowed under. It's so hard sometimes being a support for someone that's depressed because at the end of the day you have to be strong for not only yourself but for that person too.
    Then add on all of the extra malarky you've got going on in your life and you've got a whole big pile of "How on earth am I supposed to deal with this?!".

    It's any wonder you're feeling like you're getting hammered. I hope the tests come back all clear and I hope that things start looking up for you soon.

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    I want to cry with you. So sorry you are going through a lot . Don't have any advice for you but i really feel for you. Do hope things improve. I was feeling just before lunch also over my DH and was kinda overwhelmed too .

    Come in and vent anytime you want.

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    Yes you have every right to feel overwhelmed!

    As a previous poster said, would your DH be willing to look outside of his field? Sounds like it's very important for you to stay near your family right now. Perth is a long way to move.

    Biggest hugs. I hope things improve for you on many fronts.

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    We moved to Perth a little over 2 years ago. We have no family here. My parents are over 70 now and the travel here from Brisbane is really hard on them and on me if I take the kids to them. It's a great city for lots of reasons, and very family friendly, but you need your mum now, and support, not to be isolated.

    Your DH needs to find another job in a different area. You are very entitled to feel overwhelmed.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    We moved to Perth a little over 2 years ago. We have no family here. My parents are over 70 now and the travel here from Brisbane is really hard on them and on me if I take the kids to them. It's a great city for lots of reasons, and very family friendly, but you need your mum now, and support, not to be isolated.

    Your DH needs to find another job in a different area. You are very entitled to feel overwhelmed.
    This ^^
    We lived in Perth for 3yrs and loved it, an amazing place and I would be wonderful to raise kids.

    That being said, with everything you have going on and an unsupportive DH....I think you would find the distance of Perth very isolating.


 

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