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  1. #41
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    I hide anything from him. If he was to ask i would tell him. That said i don't feel the need to brings to his attention. I would never give a promise not to tell him anything.IYKWIM

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    I tell him everything. The people I tell my secrets to, I trust them and their other half with my secret. The people that entrust their secrets to me know I'll tell DP and they're cool with that.

  3. #43
    SpecialPatrolGroup's Avatar
    SpecialPatrolGroup is offline T-rex is cranky until she gets her coffee.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Girl X View Post
    Same here.

    I've had this discussion with several friends too, and we've all said the same.

    I do trust DH with the information I tell him though. He would never (and had never) acted insensitively with it, and if I were married to someone in whom I didn't have that trust then it may be a different matter.
    This. One of the reasons I love DH is that he has the maturity, sensitivity and empathy to be told something and know how to handle that information.

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  5. #44
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    Quote Originally Posted by SpecialPatrolGroup View Post
    This. One of the reasons I love DH is that he has the maturity, sensitivity and empathy to be told something and know how to handle that information.
    I agree with all of that. I still don't tell everything. I'm like a trap with information. I don't share.

    ETA my DH is probably better at keeping secrets than me. But I've had a very close friend go through something extremely traumatic and embarrassing in her marriage. DH knows her husband. I didn't tell him as I knew my friend was embarrassed enough and it just wasn't something he would want or need to know. She didn't ask me not to; I just didn't see any reason to tell (we live in another city from them now so he won't be seeing them often).
    Last edited by Sonja; 18-03-2013 at 19:55.

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  7. #45
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    FearlessLeader is offline Winner 2013 - Most Memorable Thread
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    Quote Originally Posted by SpecialPatrolGroup View Post
    This. One of the reasons I love DH is that he has the maturity, sensitivity and empathy to be told something and know how to handle that information.
    But that's not the point. You may believe that, but I don't know your husband. I don't think it's fair to make that decision on someone else's behalf.


    Just to make sure we're all clear on 'secret'- you guys are saying that if someone told you 'please don't tell anyone', you would tell your partner? What if someone said 'please don't tell anyone, not even DH'.? After they'd told you? Would you still tell them?

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  9. #46
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    I tell DH everything....even things that others ask me not to tell him. He's never ever said anything to anyone else or to that person who had asked me not to tell. I love DH & trust him completely. I love that I can talk to him about things & that I know he will keep those things to himself & not gossip about anyone.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rocky27 View Post
    I tell DH everything....even things that others ask me not to tell him. He's never ever said anything to anyone else or to that person who had asked me not to tell. I love DH & trust him completely. I love that I can talk to him about things & that I know he will keep those things to himself & not gossip about anyone.
    Would you tell your friend you were going to tell your DH? Even if you knew he'd never let on he knew?

    This is why I don't share secrets. If a friend did that to me I'm not sure I could be their friend anymore.

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  12. #48
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    Would you tell your friend you were going to tell your DH? Even if you knew he'd never let on he knew?

    This is why I don't share secrets. If a friend did that to me I'm not sure I could be their friend anymore.
    I Do. I am always open about that fact i don't keep secrets from him.

  13. #49
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    rainbow road is offline look at the stars, look how they shine for you
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    If someone prefaced something with "can I tell you something but you have to promise not to tell DP" I would ask them not to tell me, as depending on what it is, I might not be able to keep it from DP.

    If it was something like your herpes example, sure I wouldn't tell.

    But there are other things I wouldn't keep secret, because they're too much for me to handle myself.

    My friends know, and we all have the same expectation so I can't really imagine myself in a situation where someone asks me not to tell DP something.

    I don't tell her everything. But I can, and would if I needed to.

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    Wow, it really all depends what sort of things we're talking about. I have once or twice not said something that a friend had asked me to keep confidential. My friends haven't ever really had any huge secrets, just general things. My really close friends know & don't mind...just like they've also told me they tell their partners things that I've mentioned to them...no ones really ever had an issue with it. DH is the only one I tell. I don't tell anyone else.


 

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