Last edited by Jennaisme; 19-03-2013 at 11:45.
DF doesn't know everything there is to know about me, but its not because I hide it, just that I don't feel the need to tell him every minuscule detail of my life. It's impossible to know everything about someone.
Would I fell DF about stuff a friend has confided in me? Yes. Largely because I'd probably need a sounding board. Maybe also because I'm interested in how he feels about it (like a friend whose partner cheated on her) and also he can give me perspective or tell me if I handled it well/gave decent advice. I don't go out of my way, but if its relevant or I need to talk about it, then I will.
He has told me about things his friends have said/done. Like one friend who went overseas for his bucks party, and had sex with someone else over there (actually went to that country for the sole purpose of paying for a Thai prostitute). And another friend who calls his wife fat and treats her like dirty (ad she is about my size - not fat at all).
If my children wanted me to not tell DF about something, it would depend massively what exactly it is, and why they didn't want him to know.
Last edited by Rarity; 19-03-2013 at 11:25.
I have to say, I find it frustrating that people cant just accept that its different for different people, sure its different in your circle of friends, no one is saying you have to feel or do the same as others, so why is it so hard to accept that for some people, sharing with their husbands is the norm and that everyone involved is ok with it?
I don't care what others do, but saying that there are trust issues in your relationship because you don't tell your partner things your friends have said.
My husband is a very private person. He is the person everyone says things to because they know he won't go and tell everyone. If I told him some private things my friends told me, he would be disappointed.
I'm single now, but in all the years with ex, I can't think if a single instance when I was asked to keep something (secret) from him...
If there was any kind of *secret* we were both be privy to it. I don't even know if I deliberately kept (personal) stuff from him tbh, well certainly nothing major... But surely I didn't share every private thought with him! That would just be embarrassing
I wonder if it has something to do with what your friendship circle is like? Perhaps people share more with their partners if they've been with their partner longer than they've known their friends, or if you mainly have couple friends, or something. As I said earlier, my friends have been my best friends since year 7- coming up to 20 years. I've been with DP 12 years, and we are the oldest couple. My group of friends has seen partners come and go, but we will always be together. We've known each other since we were children, so there's a lot of history there. We also tend to hang out just the girls, not many of our partners are close friends. Maybe that has something to do with it?
Oh and ETA: I have been with my DH for longer than ive been friends with our friends, I had to move to be with DH so all of my friends from school etc dont live near me etc.
Last edited by peanutmonkey; 19-03-2013 at 11:53.
i tell dh everything. at times he couldnt care less but as i dont have close friends there are somethings i need off my chest and i find he's a great listener and has enough common sense to keep things between us.
I have loads of different circle of friends. I've got my old school friends who I've known for over 20 years. I've got work friends who I've known for nearly 10 years and mothers' group friends who I've known for 5 years. I've also got friends I met overseas when I lived in London who I've known for over 10 years. My husband knows all of them, but he does have his own group of friends.
Pregnant for the first-time?
Not sure where to start? We can help!
Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!