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  1. #1
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    Default Apologies in advance...

    I feel so selfish for feeling this way when so many of you would give anything to be pregnant. I am 5 weeks and absolutely miserable. I dont want this baby, I don't want the kids I have now, I don't want to marry my partner...in fact I think I hate him, he makes me miserable. I can NEVER make him happy and God knows ive tried. I cant even afford an abortion right now. I never thought id have one of could live with doing it, but I truly feel ill be worse having this baby. This is the LAST way I expected to feel. This pregnancy is nothing like my others. I dont know what to do...I am absolutely falling apart and devestated, cant stop crying.

  2. #2
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    Go and talk to your GP. You sound mightily depressed at the moment and though it could be hormonal due to the pregnancy you also need a non judgemental ear, someone to go through your options and feelings with, who CAN help rather than worsen the negativity you seem surrounded with.
    You are possibly feeling even worse because of the guilt you are carrying as well.
    Make an appointment, today if possible.

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    Definitely see your GP. Do you have a history of depression? I had pretty bad pre-natal depression my first trimester and my GP said that is common in women with a history of depression. I'm sorry I can't give you any advice and don't want you to feel bad about your feelings. I think seeing your GP and getting a mental health plan written up for Medicare subsidized sessions with a therapist would be good for you, you'll have somebody to vent to, help you sort your thoughts, and help you figure out what to do with this pregnancy and your relationship.

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    Is your husband abusive wild side?

    If so I encourage you to read the book, why does he do that? A look into the mind of angry and controlling men.. By Lundy Bancroft.

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    Please call Lifeline 13 11 14 and talk to someone who can help you.

  7. #6
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    Thank you so much. I have suffered from depression for a long time and am currently medicated. I stayed on medication with my last pregnancy too and was fine...but did have post natal depression. I had ZERO anything with my boys, if this baby is a girl...well that would make perfect sense...kidding. I just called my GP, going to see him first thing in the morning thank you. Also called a pregnancy counselling line, they are going to call me back with an appointment. I havent given you all the details because its such a long messy story that is far from a fairytale (there is infidelity and another baby involved). Im just not coping AT ALL. I was happy before I fell pregnant, I never imagined a baby could do this. I really appreciate the replies. Thanks for SO MUCH for not having a go at me.

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    So glad to hear you are seeking help!

    Nobody should have a go at you for how you are feeling! No one knows your life like you do. You have to get the help you need to get you through.

    I wish you all the best and strength to get through this.

  9. #8
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    It sounds like a tough situation to be in. Glad that you have made an appointment with your GP.


  10. #9
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    I just want to add to this. I've calmed down somewhat but it's very clear I'm happier when not around my DP and the fighting has got progressively worse. I now find out the baby was born (to that other women) last week. He sent the mother a text saying he would love to see his daughter (as awful as this sounds, that kills me). She isn't talking to him. He basically said he moved on with her to seriously and try and get over me and the boys leaving.
    REWIND 6 months ago: I went back to him an then I find out that he got a girl pregnant, that it was a one night stand, then it went to dated for a couple weeks, then to lived together a couple months, then to 9 months, then to I asked her to marry me. This whole thing makes me so sick. I find out this while we were also TRYING for a baby. Last night I discovered (read his texts cos i dont trust him!!) the a$$ sent her a text saying he missed her again while we were trying. O god. His excuse is that he was drunk, didn't even know what I was talking about when i confronted him (he really didn't) but WHY do that drunk or not if their wasn't something there. My world is shattered. I have not stopped screwing up my life for so long, I really do feel like this man has robbed me of so much of my heart...permanently. He has broken it before, I thought I'd die. Now I'm just numb and incredibly sad.
    Last edited by WildSide; 27-03-2013 at 08:48.

  11. #10
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    Do you have somewhere you can go?

    If not, start to make plans. Get all your paperwork together, birth cert., photo id., copy of lease or house deeds etc.

    Would you be entitled to government help with housing? I would call dept housing in your state, or google NRAS which is a rental subsidy scheme for low - middle income families. See if either can give you info.

    Lastly, you are stronger than you think. Make a plan...

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