All of my good friends are working and I'm not. I will when DS goes to school in 2015 (assuming I can get work). My family are in Ireland or Uk. We are doing ok financially on one salary, we live in a nice house in the suburbs. But suburbia is so quiet unless you have family around. I miss the buzz of a city (we lived in London before here). I have so much housework, which I hate. Kids are getting more independent, needing me less except to clean up after them. I guess with dp working hard in the city and friends all stressed out with work I don't feel I have any right to complain or anyone to talk to about some of my issues. But with so much housework to do I never get time to do any of the study I should be doing. Maybe I don't use my time properly but I hate housework, I'm not a homemaker. I feel like I've been backed into this corner where I am now just the housekeeper. I know I'm lucky we are ok financially, but we're not exactly rich. I'm walking around with ripped jeans at the moment because I don't like to spend much money on me and also can't find the time to do any shopping for me. I'm not a super social person - I do enjoy time to myself but at the same time on preschool days I could go 6 hours and not say one word, maybe the odd thank you if I'm out shopping.
I feel so emotional. I cry at the drop of a hat. This could be because I have to take thyroid medication since I had my thyroid removed. Not sure.
Sorry I'm rambling... I just think a lot of my sadness is the lack of support I feel. With no family here my friends have been everything and while our kids were babies we all supported each other and spent lots of time together. Now I feel totally alienated from my working friends. We have such different stresses. They seem to have totally forgotten that being a SAHM is actually hard work and mostly thankless work. I wonder what we have in common anymore and that makes me feel really scared cus with no family here all I have is my friends. It makes me want to go back to Ireland. Which is crazy as there are no jobs there and my kids have so much better life here.
Maybe i'm just having a bad day...