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  1. #1
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    Default Help please? Don't know how to feel about this...

    Hey everyone...

    After recently undergoing some extensive testing for a non-TTC related issue, the results have shown up bad news. I talked to my OBGYN to get the results and she said due to my history (although it is short) and the family history with my mum that having kids after 25 would most likely be difficult and I would be likely to have a number of complications placing me in the "high-risk" category .

    I'm not planning on starting a family right now as much as my DP and I want to because the situations are not ideal but I just don't know how to feel about this I feel like being told no more kids after 25 is such a young age but I don't want to go against that and be putting myself and possibly my baby at risk.

    If any of you can offer me advice that would be great... Thanks

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    Haven't been in that situation so sorry cant advise on that but hugs. Life throws us some major curveballs.

    I had surgery for cervical cancer 4 years ago and was told all would be good. I guess since i wasn't planning to get pg anytime soon back then wasn't even with df didn't ask further questions so wasn't told anything about the future and since googling which is a bad thing to do lol have found out a lot of women go into preterm labour. Never been told anything different except a nurse doing a pap 2 weeks ago asked what happened to my cervix as its very much changed size and shape, have had numerous paps since cancer with noone mentioning how much changed I was

    Enough about me, it is hard to know what to do when that wasn't your plan atm. What does DP think about it all? Had he thought about having a baby sooner rather then later? You have to be happy with your decision and not just decide to have a baby now just cause your specialist told you too, won't make the decision making any easier.

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    Quote Originally Posted by wobblermummy View Post
    Haven't been in that situation so sorry cant advise on that but hugs. Life throws us some major curveballs.

    I had surgery for cervical cancer 4 years ago and was told all would be good. I guess since i wasn't planning to get pg anytime soon back then wasn't even with df didn't ask further questions so wasn't told anything about the future and since googling which is a bad thing to do lol have found out a lot of women go into preterm labour. Never been told anything different except a nurse doing a pap 2 weeks ago asked what happened to my cervix as its very much changed size and shape, have had numerous paps since cancer with noone mentioning how much changed I was

    Enough about me, it is hard to know what to do when that wasn't your plan atm. What does DP think about it all? Had he thought about having a baby sooner rather then later? You have to be happy with your decision and not just decide to have a baby now just cause your specialist told you too, won't make the decision making any easier.
    Hey wobblermummy. Sorry to hear about your completely unexpected news from you pap test it's pretty bad that no doctor ever mentioned that to you prior to or post surgery

    DP and I have spoken about it and agree that it clearly puts time restrains on us in terms of having a family but know that this news doesn't mean we can just start TTC right now without putting some serious thought and planning into it. We would both be more than happy to have a baby now but neither of us think that we are in the ideal situation that we could be in to bring a child into this world. We both feel we are at the point in our relationship where this is what we both want and are already "settled down" with our commitment to eachother. The main factor stopping us from starting TTC right now is financial as I'm sure is the case with most people as we would have liked to at least have a decent deposit for a house before we start having children but we both want more than 1 child but now it seems like that's questionable too. I'm so confused and lost as to what to do

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    I don't have any ideas (except maybe a second opinion? always a good thing). 25 IS so young to have to make that decision by. Has she suggested what high risk would mean? And did she say if it would impact ttc?

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    Hi tbird, do u mind if I ask what sort of issues would be placing you in the high risk category? It's ok if you don't want to answer. It's such a tough choice being told that & trying to figure out what to do. I hope that you're both able to work out a plan you're both happy with.

    My doctor has told me when we get pregnant we will be in the high risk category & that there's a very high chance of having a premie due to the size of my uterus. My doctor did say that it's better to have children young but to do what's best for us too.

    Good luck with it all, this ttc thing can be tough

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    Its very hard to be put in that position when its not something you feel comfortable with making rash decisions about quite quickly. Why is it that you are high risk? If not too personal to add.

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    Basically she mentioned that after 25 it would be extremely likely that I would have issues with TTC but didn't really go into too much detail on why but said that if I was to get pregnant I would be high risk for pre-term labour as well as heightening my chances of needing a c-section and an increased chance of miscarrying.

    My specialist said that because I'm young now when I start TTC I shouldn't have too many issues at the moment aside from it may take a little longer than average but she emphasised that's only a possibility not a definite.

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    rainbow road is offline look at the stars, look how they shine for you
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    I'd be marching right back now, asking for a name of your condition, detail on it, and if they couldn't give you one or any less vague information I'd be getting another opinion.

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    Hi, I agree with Rainbow Road. I would be wanting to know exactly what they're talking about so u can both make a decision on what you both want to do. It's such a tough decision & I'd want all the info up front to make an informed decision, especially one this big

    I have pcos, bad endo (recently removed) & a heart shaped uterus. I've been told that the heart shape uterus puts me at increased risk of miscarriage & the doctor speculates I may have a premie (may run out of room to grow due to shape) & c-section due to bub possibly being breeched (common with bicornuate uterus). She did however say this was on a case by case basis & that I'd prob be classed as 'high risk' for this reason.

    I'd make an appt to go back & would want to fully understand why he/she's suggested it. Either way I wouldn't want to make a decisions based on wrong info. If u're not happy, please get a second opinion I always bring my DH with me. I quite often forget things during my appt & will quite often say to him, what did the doctor say about this again? He also asks questions that I forget to ask too

    Did they mention at all why they think u may be classed as high risk?

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    You need to know as much as you can so you can make informed choices on your future and what you want to do. As much as you want a family if this isn't the right time getting PG just cause you were told you needed to won't make it better in the long run or make you happier about it. A close friend was told about 5 years ago sat 25 she needed to get PG ASAP due to severe Endo she thought about it and broke up with that DP a year later so that wouldn't have been good for either of them feeling forced into having a baby in an unhappy relationship. SHe has been married 2 years now to a wonderful guy and although now she probably does need further assistance and has had a fair bit of endo surgery in last 3 years at least it is the right time for her when/if that happens.

    Good luck with everything, but if at all you are concerned a second opinion never hurt anyone other then their wallet lol. Its your body and a major decision you and DP need to come to agreement on


 

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