+ Reply to Thread
Page 4 of 11 FirstFirst ... 23456 ... LastLast
Results 31 to 40 of 103
  1. #31
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Posts
    703
    Thanks
    262
    Thanked
    299
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Lovemyfam View Post
    Just in relation of it being easier if he was gone yes its one less person you have to clean up after and yes you wouldnt have to put up with him and his crap but all those little things he does you would then have to do. Maybe you guys can go to counseling where you can be heard.
    That's no reason to stay, just because of all the little things he does (after being nagged, mind you). I bet if he wasn't around, the OP would manage doing them just fine, without resentment, because there IS NO ONE else that 'should' do it.
    The point is that he SHOULD be doing those things, and more, because its a partnership, and partners are meant to work TOGETHER.
    The fact is he expects to sit on his bum and be mothered and everything gets done around him while he does what he wants to. That is unfair and wrong. Hello!! It's 2013!!

  2. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Rarity For This Useful Post:

    HugsBunny  (14-03-2013),mama and her little bearxxx  (14-03-2013),Stiflers Mom  (14-03-2013)

  3. #32
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Posts
    2,129
    Thanks
    5,083
    Thanked
    1,220
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Lovemyfam View Post
    Well you work 4 nights a week so your not a stay at home mom your a working mom and he is a working dad but to me a SAHM does a lot:

    Cooking
    cleaning
    all the care of kids like school runs, sports runs, homework help, getting ready for school ready for bed etc
    laundry
    dishes
    organizes bills etc

    basically anything to do with the house or the kids is the SAHM job or at least it was when I was a SAHM
    Maaann I've been doing it wrong...I don't need a husband, I need a wife!

    Everyone should have one!

  4. The Following 9 Users Say Thank You to Stiflers Mom For This Useful Post:

    BlissedOut  (14-03-2013),Boobycino  (14-03-2013),Chillies  (14-03-2013),lambjam  (14-03-2013),mama and her little bearxxx  (14-03-2013),mamamel89  (14-03-2013),missie_mackxxxx  (14-03-2013),Shoopuf  (14-03-2013),smidget3004  (15-03-2013)

  5. #33
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Posts
    904
    Thanks
    67
    Thanked
    237
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    If you are working 4 nights a week I would call you are working mum not a SAHM and you deserve a break!!
    As long as you have food in the house , your kids aren't disease ridden but happy and healthy and you don't have rats crawling through your laundry and the house is livable not presentable then you are doing a great job!

  6. #34
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Posts
    8,705
    Thanks
    581
    Thanked
    647
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    This is pretty much what broke XDP and I. I was working full time, studying part time and still had to maintain the housework/dinner etc. I have resolved that if I ever partner again- I do one or the other. SAHM is a full time job- how many people do you know working 2 full time jobs? Not many, I take it. If your working- get a cleaner to do a clean once a week- than split whatever else needs to be done between the 2 of you. If your not working, than I think majority of the housework lies in your hands. The extra money that a second job brings in is just not worth your marriage.

  7. #35
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Posts
    1,055
    Thanks
    1,493
    Thanked
    602
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Lovemyfam View Post
    Just in relation of it being easier if he was gone yes its one less person you have to clean up after and yes you wouldnt have to put up with him and his crap but all those little things he does you would then have to do. Maybe you guys can go to counseling where you can be heard.
    In my experience it balances out. Yup I had to hang out the washing, but there was less of it & I didn't have to soak his work tops every second day. Also take away the fighting about it & it was a lot easier.

  8. The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to ChickyBee For This Useful Post:

    HugsBunny  (14-03-2013),mama and her little bearxxx  (14-03-2013),Rarity  (14-03-2013),shelle65  (14-03-2013),Stiflers Mom  (14-03-2013)

  9. #36
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    ocean shores
    Posts
    2,279
    Thanks
    11
    Thanked
    233
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Ok if he wants to go old school on you then I think it's fair to say that he isn't doing his job. His is not earning enough to support you and the children so you then have to go out to work to help provide also if he wants to live in the 1950s then he shouldn't be letting his wife have to work he should be able to provide for you so you can keep house.

  10. The Following 14 Users Say Thank You to our4boys For This Useful Post:

    delirium  (15-03-2013),fullofhope  (14-03-2013),gonnabeaGR8mum  (14-03-2013),HugsBunny  (14-03-2013),lambjam  (14-03-2013),LoveLivesHere  (14-03-2013),Luvmydogs  (15-03-2013),mamamel89  (14-03-2013),mim1  (15-03-2013),MrJones&Me  (14-03-2013),MrsSS  (15-03-2013),Rarity  (14-03-2013),Stiflers Mom  (14-03-2013),Wise Enough  (16-03-2013)

  11. #37
    lambjam's Avatar
    lambjam is offline Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Canberra
    Posts
    7,177
    Thanks
    2,062
    Thanked
    4,956
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    This SAHM is sitting down to lunch and a movie (or as much of it as I can fit in while the babies sleep!).

    After non-stop organising, driving, playing, nappy changing and feeding since 6.30, I think I've earned a break. And I don't care that my ironing basket is full

  12. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to lambjam For This Useful Post:

    SoThisIsLove  (14-03-2013),Speccie  (15-03-2013),upforroundtwo  (14-03-2013)

  13. #38
    lambjam's Avatar
    lambjam is offline Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Canberra
    Posts
    7,177
    Thanks
    2,062
    Thanked
    4,956
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by our3boys View Post
    Ok if he wants to go old school on you then I think it's fair to say that he isn't doing his job. His is not earning enough to support you and the children so you then have to go out to work to help provide also if he wants to live in the 1950s then he shouldn't be letting his wife have to work he should be able to provide for you so you can keep house.
    I like this so much

  14. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to lambjam For This Useful Post:

    LoveLivesHere  (14-03-2013),Rarity  (14-03-2013),Stiflers Mom  (14-03-2013),upforroundtwo  (14-03-2013)

  15. #39
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    At the beach
    Posts
    10,495
    Thanks
    1,430
    Thanked
    9,003
    Reviews
    3
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 17/10/14100 Posts in a week
    I work 5 days a fortnight, and do the school drop off and pick up every day, as well as driving around to all the after school avitivies, play dates, and other classes DD2 and DS1 have when I am home. I still do 90% of meal preparations during the week, all the laundry, basic cleaning (we have a cleaner once a week) but I have to clean as well a couple of extra times to stay on top of things. We have 3 kids (7, 3 and 2) and I am 16 weeks pregnant. I also do the treasury role for the school canteen and run the book fairs at school and do fundraising.

    I don't get downtime until the kids are in bed. When DS1 sleeps I hang out washing or do my and the kids ironing. Or I prepare meals or I catch up on work. DH does heaps once he gets home but the reality is I am in the house far more than he is and I'm not good at relaxing unless I know I am on top of things. But that's my nature and I like things to not get away from me - no one expects it of me I just expect it of myself.

    If my marriage was in trouble over $30 worth of ironing - can you not just send it out? I really think he's upset about other stuff - it just seems too bizarre.
    Last edited by Sonja; 14-03-2013 at 13:20.

  16. The Following User Says Thank You to Sonja For This Useful Post:

    Albert01  (14-03-2013)

  17. #40
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Posts
    997
    Thanks
    381
    Thanked
    239
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by loislane2010 View Post
    DH and i are just NOT getting along anymore. After a big talk last night hes basically said im not doing my job as a SAHM/wife and hes not sure how much more he wants to be with me.
    Don't mean to poke an inflammed issue, and I haven't read past the first page of this thread before replying. But My first instinct is his reply above is cr@p and there is something else going on. I am not saying it is cheating or anything like that but whether he has issues and he is taking it out on you, or he is stressed about something, or he is having a early midlife crisis. It isn't necessarily insurmountable, and I bet he doesn't really mean the above, we all know men are generally bad communicators and they can't say what they mean or even identify why they feel how they do.

    I don't know what the way to fix this is, as I don't know you as a couple. Maybe him receiving counselling on his own then you two together, or just having a good mate he can have a chat to.

    You work, you are not a SAHM, even if you were that is a situation you BOTH got into. SAHM is not a slave, I certainly couldn't do it as I don't have the patience or energy.

    Part of me would want to call his bluff and tell him to move out for a week or something.

    But you know your relationship, how it has been, how you get through things so you need to do what is best for you.


 

Similar Threads

  1. Help regarding previous wife..
    By Nomorelies in forum Step-parents / Blended families
    Replies: 16
    Last Post: 03-02-2013, 11:29
  2. How do i help my wife?
    By helpinghubby in forum Pregnancy & Birth General Chat
    Replies: 22
    Last Post: 04-04-2012, 23:43

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Babybee Prams
Save $50 in our pre-Christmas sale! All Comet's now only $500. Our bassinet & stroller set includes free shipping AUS wide, $75 free accessories, 18-months warranty & a 9 month free return policy. Check out our new designer range today!
sales & new stuffsee all
Wendys Music School Melbourne
Wondering about Music Lessons? FREE 30 minute ASSESSMENT. Find out if your child is ready! Piano from age 3 years & Guitar, Singing, Drums, Violin from age 5. Lessons available for all ages. 35+ years experience. Structured program.
Use referral 'bubhub' when booking
featured supporter
Medela Australia
Our goal is to give mothers and babies the best possible support for a great and long lasting breastfeeding experience. Medela have a full range of breastpumps and breastcare products, suited to every need and lifestyle.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!