+ Reply to Thread
Page 7 of 14 FirstFirst ... 56789 ... LastLast
Results 61 to 70 of 132
  1. #61
    lambjam's Avatar
    lambjam is offline Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Canberra
    Posts
    7,177
    Thanks
    2,062
    Thanked
    4,956
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by our3boys View Post
    I would if he had a different job and they needed doing not because he would expect it but because I love him and love looking after my family.
    I love my husband and I love looking after my family.

  2. The Following User Says Thank You to lambjam For This Useful Post:

    missie_mackxxxx  (14-03-2013)

  3. #62
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    ocean shores
    Posts
    2,279
    Thanks
    11
    Thanked
    233
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Ok now I just read your other post. I'd be packing the kids up and leaving him for awhile to fend for himself that will show him how much he is under appreciating you.

  4. #63
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    3,678
    Thanks
    788
    Thanked
    1,847
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by loislane2010 View Post
    So DH has basically said im not doing my job as a SAHM. My job as a SAHM is to clean, cook, iron, laundry, look after the kids, garden. I feel like SH!T cos when i said 'you do realise you said im a sh!t SAHM/wife' he just raised his hands in agreement. Then he said hes not sure how much more he can take of it. Basically said he wants to leave me.
    he is being a total ****!

    What is he doing to be a good partner? What is he doing to show love to the mother of his child? How is he being loving and supportive? What is he doing around the home?

    Seriously, what a jerk. You are a person and he is NOT your employer. Where did he get his archaic ideas of family dynamics?

    I am assuming that you used to work outside the home? The ideals he is sprouting are from a time when women NEVER worked outside the home. Where men were gentleman and took care of everything so their wife had the time and energy to do the other side. Of a time where lives were simpler and there was not as much pressure on people in general.

    I would be so hurt if DH spoke to me that way...and had those ridiculous expectations. He needs to have a serious re think of the dynamic...does he really think it is OK to treat someone like that?

  5. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to River Song For This Useful Post:

    JustUs3  (14-03-2013),waterlily  (14-03-2013)

  6. #64
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    3,678
    Thanks
    788
    Thanked
    1,847
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by our3boys View Post
    My husband is a farmer his clothes are red dirt stained and ratty he would never expect me to iron them. I would if he had a different job and they needed doing not because he would expect it but because I love him and love looking after my family.
    this is nothing to do with how much she loves her husband or loves looking after her family.

    This is about a man who is demeaning his wife and wanting her to do things that she does not want to do. To me, this is the issue.

    If someone has things they do not want to do, their partner should respect that...especially if those things are all in benefit of the partner and at the cost of the person saying no.

  7. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to River Song For This Useful Post:

    CicerFabaceaexxxx  (14-03-2013),lambjam  (14-03-2013),waterlily  (14-03-2013)

  8. #65
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    Sydney, NSW
    Posts
    987
    Thanks
    118
    Thanked
    18
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by River Song View Post
    he is being a total ****!

    What is he doing to be a good partner? What is he doing to show love to the mother of his child? How is he being loving and supportive? What is he doing around the home?

    Seriously, what a jerk. You are a person and he is NOT your employer. Where did he get his archaic ideas of family dynamics?

    I am assuming that you used to work outside the home? The ideals he is sprouting are from a time when women NEVER worked outside the home. Where men were gentleman and took care of everything so their wife had the time and energy to do the other side. Of a time where lives were simpler and there was not as much pressure on people in general.

    I would be so hurt if DH spoke to me that way...and had those ridiculous expectations. He needs to have a serious re think of the dynamic...does he really think it is OK to treat someone like that?
    If DH spoke to me that way i'd be helping him pack his bags.

  9. #66
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Posts
    8,546
    Thanks
    919
    Thanked
    1,250
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Honestly if my husband treated me with such absolute disrespect I'm not sure that I would want him to stay!

    The division of labour in a household needs to be negotiated between those that live in the house, based on people's individual skills, time and preferences. There's no set in stone list of duties for a SAHM and the fact that he thinks there is so is kind of gross.

    If he is threatening to leave over the ironing I would assume he is being manipulative or he already has one foot out the door.

    In any case you deserve better, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Best of luck xx

  10. The Following User Says Thank You to Mathermy For This Useful Post:

    Stiflers Mom  (14-03-2013)

  11. #67
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    ocean shores
    Posts
    2,279
    Thanks
    11
    Thanked
    233
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by lambjam View Post
    I love my husband and I love looking after my family.
    That came out wrong sorry I didn't mean it like just because you don't then you must not love your family I think all families run differently that's just how we run I do the at home duties but if I got tested on it atm I'd get a big fat F and if dh had something to say about it I'd leave him.

  12. The Following User Says Thank You to our4boys For This Useful Post:

    lambjam  (14-03-2013)

  13. #68
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Posts
    21,654
    Thanks
    15,094
    Thanked
    11,263
    Reviews
    14
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 postsDiamond Star - 20,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the WeekBusiest Member of the Week - week ended 5/2/14Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 31/10/14Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 24/10/14Busiest Member of the Week


    I think maybe you should spend some time thinking about what YOU define your role to be. When you have some idea of what that is because it is different for all of us write it down. Work out how much it would cost for someone else to fill your role. make sure you include babysitter for 24/7, a chef, cleaner etc...

    This will help you see that the job you do does have monetary worth. I know you can't put a price on the emotional benefit for your kids.

    Then write a lists of things that you do/ he wants you to do that you don't feel is job a sahm. Remember he is a parent too and needs to help out with them after hours too.


    Then sit down when no is angry and talk about defining your roles as a couple an as parents. Show him your list and let him write a list of what he See's as his role and what jobs he think he should do and the list of job he thinks aren't his role too. Then work a rooster to do those job neither of see as your role but have to be done.

  14. #69
    lambjam's Avatar
    lambjam is offline Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Canberra
    Posts
    7,177
    Thanks
    2,062
    Thanked
    4,956
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    ...
    Last edited by lambjam; 14-03-2013 at 09:27.

  15. #70
    lambjam's Avatar
    lambjam is offline Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Canberra
    Posts
    7,177
    Thanks
    2,062
    Thanked
    4,956
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by our3boys View Post
    That came out wrong sorry I didn't mean it like just because you don't then you must not love your family I think all families run differently that's just how we run I do the at home duties but if I got tested on it atm I'd get a big fat F and if dh had something to say about it I'd leave him.
    Gotcha, thanks


 

Similar Threads

  1. Any other uni SAHMs
    By mamma2rubypie in forum Stay At Home Mums (SAHMs) Chat
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 22-08-2012, 15:58
  2. SAHMs, what do you do all day?
    By nicoletta in forum General Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
    Replies: 41
    Last Post: 02-06-2012, 01:22
  3. Question for SAHMs...
    By Busy-Bee in forum General Chat
    Replies: 41
    Last Post: 16-03-2012, 15:33

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Springfree Trampoline
Give the Ultimate Christmas Gift Springfree Trampoline
The World's Safest Trampoline™ is now also the world's first Smart Trampoline™. Sensors on the mat detect your every move and your jumps control fun, educational and active games on tablet. Secure the Ultimate Christmas Gift today!
sales & new stuffsee all
CarmelsBeautySecrets
Growing your own natural nails is easy. Years ago, I devised a simple and very effective technique which really helps boosts the nails' growth in as little as three days! And most importantly keeps them that way.
featured supporter
Philips AVENT Australia
Pregnancy and early parenthood is an exciting and challenging time, but it’s good to know there is expert advice on hand to ensure that your baby gets the best start in life.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!