Ok now I just read your other post. I'd be packing the kids up and leaving him for awhile to fend for himself that will show him how much he is under appreciating you.
What is he doing to be a good partner? What is he doing to show love to the mother of his child? How is he being loving and supportive? What is he doing around the home?
Seriously, what a jerk. You are a person and he is NOT your employer. Where did he get his archaic ideas of family dynamics?
I am assuming that you used to work outside the home? The ideals he is sprouting are from a time when women NEVER worked outside the home. Where men were gentleman and took care of everything so their wife had the time and energy to do the other side. Of a time where lives were simpler and there was not as much pressure on people in general.
I would be so hurt if DH spoke to me that way...and had those ridiculous expectations. He needs to have a serious re think of the dynamic...does he really think it is OK to treat someone like that?
This is about a man who is demeaning his wife and wanting her to do things that she does not want to do. To me, this is the issue.
If someone has things they do not want to do, their partner should respect that...especially if those things are all in benefit of the partner and at the cost of the person saying no.
Honestly if my husband treated me with such absolute disrespect I'm not sure that I would want him to stay!
The division of labour in a household needs to be negotiated between those that live in the house, based on people's individual skills, time and preferences. There's no set in stone list of duties for a SAHM and the fact that he thinks there is so is kind of gross.
If he is threatening to leave over the ironing I would assume he is being manipulative or he already has one foot out the door.
In any case you deserve better, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Best of luck xx
Stiflers Mom (14-03-2013)
I think maybe you should spend some time thinking about what YOU define your role to be. When you have some idea of what that is because it is different for all of us write it down. Work out how much it would cost for someone else to fill your role. make sure you include babysitter for 24/7, a chef, cleaner etc...
This will help you see that the job you do does have monetary worth. I know you can't put a price on the emotional benefit for your kids.
Then write a lists of things that you do/ he wants you to do that you don't feel is job a sahm. Remember he is a parent too and needs to help out with them after hours too.
Then sit down when no is angry and talk about defining your roles as a couple an as parents. Show him your list and let him write a list of what he See's as his role and what jobs he think he should do and the list of job he thinks aren't his role too. Then work a rooster to do those job neither of see as your role but have to be done.
Last edited by lambjam; 14-03-2013 at 09:27.
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