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  1. #111
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    Quote Originally Posted by House Mumma View Post
    I hate to be the pot stirrer, but seriously I can think of worse things than my DH asking me to iron a shirt!!

    Um like having to get up a 4am like he did this morning, working out in the heat today under hot heavy machinery and walk back through the door at 7pm. Mean while I'm bub hubbing away on the ipad sitting on my lazy bum while DS is sleeping. So yes, if my DH asks me to iron, I do it. His job is tougher than mine.

    And... Shock horror, I also make his lunch, pick up his clothes off the floor and make him homemade snacks. Oh dear the tragedy.

    I'm grateful DH works hard to keep a roof over our heads, we can buy DS lots of things and have spare money for his activities and I can buy whatever I please. So if this means ironing a shirt for DH then I'm happy to do it cos he works harder than me.
    The OP works too. He speaks to her like rubbish, puts her down and demands things from her. Does your husband do that too? If your DH said you were a bad wife/mother and made you feel worthless would you still be his maid and suck it up?

    OP I'm sorry but your DH is an absolute pig. The way he is speaking to you with such disrespect is the thing that screams LEAVE to me.

    Your DH works what 38 hours a week?
    You work 16 our of the home?
    So after you work your 22 hours being a SAHM, just stop. Don't do anything. Don't clean/cook/look after the kids, don't work weekends. If that's your "job" then you only need to be fulfilling your 38 hours a week. God it's going to cost you guys a fortune to hire someone to do the other 130 hours a week.
    Last edited by waterlily; 14-03-2013 at 14:10.

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  3. #112
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    lol. kick him out. Make his decision a bit easier!

    he sounds terrible!

  4. #113
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    House mumma - that's fine for you. But not for everyone. If ironing shirts isn't that bad then there's no reason they wearer of said shirt can't iron it.

    But like I get my df a cup of tea and pop some bickies or chocolate next to him when he's working late at home, but if he said to me it's my job to serve him a late snack and if I don't he'd want to leave me.... Totally different situation.

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    Guest654  (14-03-2013),HugsBunny  (14-03-2013),Kiplusthree  (14-03-2013),lambjam  (14-03-2013),LoveLivesHere  (14-03-2013),peanutmonkey  (14-03-2013),River Song  (14-03-2013),shelle65  (14-03-2013),Shoopuf  (14-03-2013),Stiflers Mom  (14-03-2013)

  6. #114
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    House Mumma your situation has nothing to do with the original post situation. The two are not related in any way.

  7. #115
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    Quote Originally Posted by House Mumma View Post
    I hate to be the pot stirrer, but seriously I can think of worse things than my DH asking me to iron a shirt!!

    Um like having to get up a 4am like he did this morning, working out in the heat today under hot heavy machinery and walk back through the door at 7pm. Mean while I'm bub hubbing away on the ipad sitting on my lazy bum while DS is sleeping. So yes, if my DH asks me to iron, I do it. His job is tougher than mine.

    And... Shock horror, I also make his lunch, pick up his clothes off the floor and make him homemade snacks. Oh dear the tragedy.

    I'm grateful DH works hard to keep a roof over our heads, we can buy DS lots of things and have spare money for his activities and I can buy whatever I please. So if this means ironing a shirt for DH then I'm happy to do it cos he works harder than me.
    I could be assuming too much here, but I'd hazard a guess your DH would ask you in a respectful manner if he wwnted you to iron for him ?

    The OPs husband hasn't shown any respect for the OP - who happens to go out to work at night after all day looking after her children and household.

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  9. #116
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    I think the problem is with expectation, not with any particular arrangement.

    If someone is happy to cook/ clean/ iron shirts for their DH - great!

    If someone doesn't want to - fine!

    The problem comes when one party expects something from the other in that way.

    My DH and I both agree that my role is to look after our DD. We're fortunate in that we have a cleaner, so neither of us need to do much in the way of housework, and we both love cooking so we split that 50/50.

    He irons his own shirts. If he was in a hurry then I would iron one to help him out, but generally he does it himself.

    He has no issue with this, and would never expect me to do it. My 'job' is DD and nothing more. Every now and again I will do something nice for him, and vice versa, but there is no expectation on either side that one of us will do a particular thing.

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  11. #117
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    Quote Originally Posted by Benji View Post
    Could you explain this part, I essentially do the role of a fulltime mum when I have "holidays" from my office work. I get no more breaks than I would as a SAHM. I don't expect breaks either, I signed up to be a parent so when I get home from work that's what I do. Which is what I think the OP's husband's attitude should be. Parenting = extra work. I don't know why people sign up to be a parent and expect that this means from now on they get a free ride and free maid.

    this was directly in response to the post I quoted where lmf said that stay at home mums would get all upset if their DH said they were going to have a day off work and that they did not get breaks.

    I KNOW that going to work is not a total picnic, and for many working mums, they go to work and work and then go home and do even more work. I am not comparing sahm to working mums...my comment was about the DH in this situation getting arsey and saying that him working 40 hours a week was enough. I respect both working mums and stahm and studying mums...have done all 3 at different times and they are all challenging!

  12. #118
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    Quote Originally Posted by River Song View Post
    this was directly in response to the post I quoted where lmf said that stay at home mums would get all upset if their DH said they were going to have a day off work and that they did not get breaks.

    I KNOW that going to work is not a total picnic, and for many working mums, they go to work and work and then go home and do even more work. I am not comparing sahm to working mums...my comment was about the DH in this situation getting arsey and saying that him working 40 hours a week was enough. I respect both working mums and stahm and studying mums...have done all 3 at different times and they are all challenging!
    I agree with what you've said - I think that both should get at least a bit of a break at the end of the day/weekends rather than one continuing on well into the night with child/house duties and one having a free ride at her expense. If both can lighten each other's load that leaves more time together at the end of the evening to relax

  13. #119
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    I am not allowed to iron DH's clothes as he has to have his uniform ironed a particular way that i am not trained in (thank you defence) - he won't even let me iron my own stuff as i 'do it wrong' which is fine by me.
    If he asked i wouldn't mind but if he demanded i ironed i would tell him to get stuffed.

  14. #120
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    I don't iron DHs clothes...or any other clothes I don't know where I pull the time from.

    A relative of mine irons but will not iron her DHs business shirts. He outsources it and pays to have it done


 

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