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  1. #101
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    Yeah he sounds like a pr!ck. I wouldn't be fighting to stop him leaving.

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  3. #102
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    Quote Originally Posted by loislane2010 View Post
    I only work 4 hours a night, so 16 hours a week so he doesnt consider that enough. Trust me ive had this argument with him. Ive said, seen as how im workng now, can you help around the house'. To which he replied. 'you only work 4 hours a night, i think you can manage'.
    PMSL.. 'only' 4 hours a night. And this is after you've been looking after the kids all day. Stuff that. Don't let him do this to you

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  5. #103
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    Is he seriously going to leave over unironed shirts? Is that all he's cranky about? Either he's the pettiest man alive or there's other issues at play.

    I agree he doesn't sound like he respects you at all, but is he annoyed generally about your role as a SAHM or just the unironed shirts?

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  7. #104
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lovemyfam View Post
    HE shouldnt have have agreed because it hurt your feelings I think that you guys should have a night out and chat no fighting no saying either one is failing just a chat about things.

    Also how would SAHM feel if the partners just didnt go to work sometimes so money wasnt coming in we have to remember that working takes a lot too and getting up when you are tired or sick and go to work to provide for a family is tough also so I can see where they can be frustrated if the house isnt clean when they get home when you work you want to come home and relax and watch some tv spend some time with the kids not have to clean after someone was home all day.

    ummm, that is called weekends...and sick pay...and holiday pay...people who work outside the home DO get time off regularly. A sahm doesn't.

    On days i don't manage all the house work....i do not leave my kids neglected...normally it is because i am doing something with them.

    So it is like saying because we are busy with one "job" our to do list backs up.

    If you are in an office and one person is at a conference...then the rest of the team chip in and work together to make sure the day to day things get done (like if a receptionist goes out to a meeting, someone else will grab the phones). It is about being part of the team. If a chef is busy doing one thing and he has other food cooking, someone else will jump in and stop it burning.

    A family is a team and there will always be different things that pull our energy at different times...if the team is functioning well, we back each other up and support each other.

    This is my problem with what is happening to the OP. She has no back up, her DH is NOT being a good team member and supporting her. He has plenty of time off and she has none...he has all the power and she seems to have none. They should be equals and neither should dictate to the other and both should be reasonable...this is not happening and therefore there is a problem.

    If it works for some families for the wife to do everything and the man to work outside the home only...then fine...but only if everyone is happy. As long as people are appreciated and happy...no worries. But when one says "hey, this is not working" and the other simply doesn't care...no OK.

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  9. #105
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lovemyfam View Post
    HE shouldnt have have agreed because it hurt your feelings I think that you guys should have a night out and chat no fighting no saying either one is failing just a chat about things.

    Also how would SAHM feel if the partners just didnt go to work sometimes so money wasnt coming in we have to remember that working takes a lot too and getting up when you are tired or sick and go to work to provide for a family is tough also so I can see where they can be frustrated if the house isnt clean when they get home when you work you want to come home and relax and watch some tv spend some time with the kids not have to clean after someone was home all day.
    The op not ironing his shirts is not equal to him not going to work. He's a physically capable employed adult, if he just decided not work work because he cbfed would be totally different to the op as a WORKING parent to not ironing his shirts.

    I think from other threads you and I have different views on the ability of men to be adults. I don't need to take care of my partner, he's an adult, he managed perfectly fine without me for 27 years and he managed to feed and dress himself without my help.

    Now we have children our roles have changed but his ability to take care of himself isn't impacted just because we have children. He's not an invalid - he's a father.

    And I do make allowances for the fact he works and I'm at home, there are things that makes sense if I'm washing the kids clothes I wash his too, if I'm cooking dinner I cook him dinner too, we are in a partnership. But while he still has functioning use of all of his limbs he can iron his own shirts.

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  11. #106
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    Quote Originally Posted by River Song View Post
    ummm, that is called weekends...and sick pay...and holiday pay...people who work outside the home DO get time off regularly. A sahm doesn't.
    Could you explain this part, I essentially do the role of a fulltime mum when I have "holidays" from my office work. I get no more breaks than I would as a SAHM. I don't expect breaks either, I signed up to be a parent so when I get home from work that's what I do. Which is what I think the OP's husband's attitude should be. Parenting = extra work. I don't know why people sign up to be a parent and expect that this means from now on they get a free ride and free maid.

  12. #107
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boobycino View Post

    Now we have children our roles have changed but his ability to take care of himself isn't impacted just because we have children. He's not an invalid - he's a father.
    Oh goodness yes - THIS!!! Having children means more work, not less.

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  14. #108
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    Your DH is an @ss and sounds like a bully. Your partner is supposed to be your best friend not treat you like a slave.

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    Quote Originally Posted by loislane2010 View Post
    Do you iron your dh/dp's work clothes. DH EXPECTS me to do it and will not budge on the idea. It's apparently MY job.
    I have to admit i find it really unfair that he expects this of me...they're NOT my clothes!!!
    Oh and i HATE ironing!!
    Your job is a SAH 'MUM', not 'MAID to husband' or anyone else! Just remind him of that.

  16. #110
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    And as a child carer - my df couldn't afford me. Lol.


 

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