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  1. #81
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    A baby won't remember being physically, mentally or sexually abused. No one would argue that therefore it is okay for them to be put through. Although your partner is just as much your son's parent as you, his mother, sister etc should have no say whatsoever in what happens to your baby's tiny body. Just because your baby is male shouldn't give the male parent more say in such a huge decision.

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  3. #82
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    I feel for you, you are in such a tough situation, and at the end of the day, you are both his parents.

    I have no real advice, just get as much information as you can and keep talking, talking, talking. The more information you have, the better. I don't suppose that the fact that the Australia doesn't recommend it would sway him? If it was really beneficial at all, our medical boards would be the first to jump on board.

    I would find it incredibly sad if a parent insisted on circing when the other parent was so against it. As said before, after it is done it isn't like you can take it back.


    Quote Originally Posted by cheekychook View Post
    I'm in this predicament as well. Sadly, I wouldn't come here for support because of posts like this:



    I have the balls and I do stand up for my son. I debate circumcision regularly, with my DH and the many other members or my family who are pro circ. However, my DS is just as much DH's son as he is mine.As you all know pro circers are just as passionate about the subject as anti circers. All believe they are right. It is a really difficult situation to be in. If I post in this section I get told to grow some balls (ironic!!) if I post in the pro circ section I get bombarded with biased information. So I think I'll just stick with google!!

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  5. #83
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    If you are researching google and being assertive in combatting your husbands circ theories (hygiene etc with fact) then obviously you don't fit into the no balls for a debate category!

    Sure your kid is also your husbands but when it comes to unnecessarily cutting off a body part If hubby won't listen to your facts then I think you can play the "Doctor doesn't recommend it" or "because I said so" card. It is this (saying NO during a Mexican stand-off even if your hubby will be offended) that is very difficult and requires extra balls.
    He can use the 'because I said so card' too! I don't think my DH would ever make me go ahead with it. I doubt it'll happen, we'll probably still be discussing it when DS is 18!!!

  6. #84
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    I personally would never post in a pro circ thread, just like I wouldn't post in an anti vax thread, that is their space to get support etc. I do read things sometimes that makes me upset, that I would like to discuss, but can't.

    I think this thread is good for that, venting, discussing. Not *****ing.


    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    Most posts aren't removed though Eko. In the latest thread one post was edited and the rest stayed. If this thread was to share common beliefs then cool, I have no objection to that but this was the first post by the OP:

    Ergh.. reading the stuff in the support thread for circumcision makes me feel sick.

    To me that's a pretty clear invitation in saying 'come and join with me to b*tch about others decisions and how revolting they are'.

    Anyway, I'll leave it at that. I have zero worry to a thread that has the purpose that Atropos suggested. I just don't feel that was the purpose...

  7. #85
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    Quote Originally Posted by ~Bec~ View Post
    Using the "M" word regarding circ'ing is a breech of the rules. If there is any post like that the first thing to do is report it so the mods can take appropriate action. Throwing the "M" word around (or similar) doesn't do the cause any good All it does is antagonise and polarise people. (I know you haven't done it so that's not directed at you)




    It's a bit of a running joke with VicPark and her use of the expression "having balls". (Personally I prefer the expression "having a uterus" or "have a vagina" as those things can take much more of a pounding than oh-so-tender you-know-whats but that's a different thread!) VicPark is not known for writing sensitive posts (*looks at VicPark* - aren't you love ), I'm guessing she'll probably get nominated for the "straight shooter" award at this years BH awards.

    If you want some straight forward data and information then I strongly recommend posts by JohnC. He is anti-RIC but his posts can provide some really good data from highly credible sources. I'm sure he wouldn't mind if you even PM'd him even.

    It's ok, I'm known in my workplace for telling people that they are breaking my balls!!!

    Thank you for your advice re getting some information, I appreciate it

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  9. #86
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    I think the opening comment in this thread didnt correlate with a support thread. Never the less. Pro circers have there space to vent, talk & get support. It only seems fitting that those who didnt or dont want to circ be allowed there own space too. I dont hink anyone can tell anyone else who deserves support or not.
    I believe other mothers and fathers can either be your best friend or your worst enemy and i see it more often then not that other mothers will attack other mothers who dont agree with there desicions or opinions.

    Yes there is no doubt some anti circers are overly passionate and do like using words like the M word or say that its abuse etc. but i have seen even here on bub pro circers saying theyre better parents than non circers or saying that intact boys are smelly and look gross. Its a two way fence and one subject no one will agree on ever if not even for a long time to come.

    I have looked at the pro section just to look and i have come across some upseting things to me, have i commented ... no! why? because thats there space. Where they can vent, get support and openly share there opinion.

    Clearly some anti circers dont show as much restraint but its also quite clear neither can the pro circers. If you cant show enough respect for each other not to say anything then stay away from the opposites threads. ANTI's stay to anti's section and PRO's stay to pro's section I do believe this is in the anti RIC section. You cant demand the freedom to talk openly for circumcision and not allow others to openly discuss anti circumcision.

    I for one am neither FOR or AGAINST it. I have beautiful intact nearly 4 yr old boy, who neither smells or looks gross. Circumscision wasnt for us. His daddy also isnt circed, we had no family prefferrence from either sides and after looking into it we felt that for OUR son it was not needed and if it was something he wished to do later on then thats a decision we would support fully.

    What others choose to do with there sons is there business to me. But i guess just like pro and anti vaccinations and other parenting subjects , we wont always agree but geeesh atleast learn to be civil and if you cant be civil stay on your side of the fence and stop trying to peep over it.

  10. #87
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    My goodness!!! Lol at the parents thinking they are better parents for cutting off their bubs foreskin on the grounds it's smelly and looks Gross? Is that not a joke?

    I don't mean to offend but what gives anyone the right to make this choice for there child? Yes if it is medically advised to do so but just because.....

    Maby before doing the procedure the mother should go get circumcised first just so it doesn't get smelly and look gross? This is normal practice in many cultures so meh it must make it right eh?

    It just infuriates me that it's ok to but the risk of unnecessary surgery that comes with risks on such a young bub.

  11. #88
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kelly8329 View Post
    Mods ????
    This thread is simply bullying in my eyes no point to it , just made to pick on peoples decisions
    its not bullying since pro circs shouldnt be reading it anyway

    Quote Originally Posted by redlipsandpearls View Post
    I think an anti-ric support thread is great, but the wording in the OP certainly didn't match the title. Maybe 'Vent thread for anti-circ' would have been more appropriate.
    doesnt matter her thread her words

    Quote Originally Posted by munchkin275 View Post
    The op in this thread started this right after bombarding the pro thread. That to me screams b*tchiness and the fact this thread was not started with the intention of supporting.
    who care when or why she started it?

    Quote Originally Posted by cheekychook View Post
    He honestly believes it is cleaner, less chance of infection etc. He has also seen some if his friends needing it done later in life and apparently it's worse then (not that anyone would know cause babies can't talk). So he'd prefer to get it done now then it possibly happening to DS later on.
    have you had him read drmomma.org lots of info there

    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    Ok. I was dreading your response being that he wants his son to look like him.

    My DH is intact. I know heaps of guys who are in their 30s and 40s and are intact, and who've never had an issue. Guess it's just one of those things. I wouldn't have my appendix removed even though one of my bf's daughter has just been through an horrendous time because hers burst and it went undiagnosed.

    I hope you can find some answers. I can honestly say it's no cleaner one way or the other.
    I think it actually cleaner intact, the foreskin is tight in babies so protects the tender penis from feces and urine.

    Quote Originally Posted by cheekychook View Post
    I use the appendix scenario all the time!!
    Edited to add: I honestly don't know what the outcome will be but I know I really don't want to hand my son over to have a procedure that's not necessary. No matter how much DH and MIL try and convince me, you can't tell me they aren't in pain. Just cause they don't remember it doesn't mean if didn't hurt them. Hopefully DH will forget about it!!!
    Lets hope he has a change of heart.

    Quote Originally Posted by cheekychook View Post
    Thank you! No it's not easy, and not when it comes from DH, my mum, my MIL and even my SIL is pro circ!!!
    As you said they thoughts on it are so entrenched and DH has as much right over DS as I do so I really don't know what to do!! We have a bit more time to keep 'discussing' it before a decision needs to be made.
    Maybe he will be so in love and busy with a new baby he will forget about it.

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  13. #89
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    Quote Originally Posted by MonsterMoosMum View Post
    I think the opening comment in this thread didnt correlate with a support thread. Never the less. Pro circers have there space to vent, talk & get support. It only seems fitting that those who didnt or dont want to circ be allowed there own space too. I dont hink anyone can tell anyone else who deserves support or not.
    I believe other mothers and fathers can either be your best friend or your worst enemy and i see it more often then not that other mothers will attack other mothers who dont agree with there desicions or opinions.

    Yes there is no doubt some anti circers are overly passionate and do like using words like the M word or say that its abuse etc. but i have seen even here on bub pro circers saying theyre better parents than non circers or saying that intact boys are smelly and look gross. Its a two way fence and one subject no one will agree on ever if not even for a long time to come.

    I have looked at the pro section just to look and i have come across some upseting things to me, have i commented ... no! why? because thats there space. Where they can vent, get support and openly share there opinion.

    Clearly some anti circers dont show as much restraint but its also quite clear neither can the pro circers. If you cant show enough respect for each other not to say anything then stay away from the opposites threads. ANTI's stay to anti's section and PRO's stay to pro's section I do believe this is in the anti RIC section. You cant demand the freedom to talk openly for circumcision and not allow others to openly discuss anti circumcision.

    I for one am neither FOR or AGAINST it. I have beautiful intact nearly 4 yr old boy, who neither smells or looks gross. Circumscision wasnt for us. His daddy also isnt circed, we had no family prefferrence from either sides and after looking into it we felt that for OUR son it was not needed and if it was something he wished to do later on then thats a decision we would support fully.

    What others choose to do with there sons is there business to me. But i guess just like pro and anti vaccinations and other parenting subjects , we wont always agree but geeesh atleast learn to be civil and if you cant be civil stay on your side of the fence and stop trying to peep over it.
    I have used the M word because that is what I feel it is just like for FGM why can we use it for girls and not boys? I have also said I think its abuse because I do. I am also guilty of going into pro circ threads and I can see that is wrong to go in their threads so I will not any more. I wont use the M word here but sure will everywhere else because that is what I think of it. We are all entitled to our own opinions but we are also all entitled to have say over our bodies that extends to babies too.

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  15. #90
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    Since this is kind of a support thread has anyone gone against their family in being anti-circ? Both of my brothers were done (mid 70's and 80's bubs so quite routine then) and I remember my mother being horrified when she realised my nephew wasn't circed at age 5. He was done not long after due to medical reasons.

    Fast forward to me having my first DS and her horror at my not circing him was quite confronting. My DH is intact and I saw no valid reason to put my child through that unless absolutely necessary. I used to flinch every time she changed him and would just wait for the rude comments to come.

    After I had my second DS I prepared myself for the battle again but there were only a few grumbles - guess she figured she was flogging a dead horse lol!

    Well after watching 60 Minutes lets just say now she completely supports our choice and wishes she had known more about it when my brothers were babies. It's nice to feel vindicated after all this time.

    Anyway what I am trying to say is that I could definitely have used a support forum first time around. Just wondered if there were any others out there like me?

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