+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 11 123 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 101
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Posts
    10,939
    Thanks
    2,608
    Thanked
    2,864
    Reviews
    14
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Awards:
    100 Posts in a week

    Default Bad Mums use i-phones while kids play

    I came across this article last night:
    http://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/par...-1226594616029

    Thoughts?

    Source: Supplied




    THIS post from Jill Smokler's hugely popular blog Scary Mommy has sparked huge debate on and offline. Where do you stand on this issue? Leave a comment at the bottom of the story.

    A COUPLE of weeks ago, Jeff and I spent a morning running around after our children during a carnival hosted at their school.
    As hour number three approached, my capacity for other people’s children rapidly reaching code red zone, I pulled out my phone and hopped on Twitter for a few minutes. Of course, those few minutes happened to coincide with my bumping into one of my children’s teachers.

    After she greeted me, she gently pulled the phone out of my hand and whispered “tsk, tsk” as she shook her head.
    My face turned red as she gestured to the surrounding children whom I clearly should have been watching instead.
    My phone shamefully remained in my coat pocket for the rest of the afternoon, while I found other ways to occupy the time, none of which included actually playing with the kids who blissfully ignored my presence while they ran around with their friends.
    I forgot about the whole interaction (or, rather blocked it out) until I came across a post yesterday, Dear Mom on The iPhone. It begins…

    Dear Mom On the iPhone,
    I see you over there on the bench, messing on your iPhone.
    It feels good to relax a little while your kids have fun in the sunshine, doesn’t it?
    You are doing a great job with your kids, you work hard,
    you teach them manners, have them do their chores.
    But Momma, let me tell you what you don’t see right now…..
    Your little girl is spinning round and round, making her dress twirl.
    She is such a little beauty queen already, the sun shining behind her long hair.
    She keeps glancing your way to see if you are watching her.
    You aren’t…

    It goes on and on and on about the precious moments that a mother is missing while immersed in technology. “Now you are pushing your baby in the swing. She loves it! Cooing and smiling with every push. You don’t see her though, do you? Your head is bent, your eyes on your phone as you absently push her swing.”

    Bad, bad mother, the comments preach. How selfish! How self-absorbed! How dare a mother absentmindedly push a swing when she could be relishing every single back and forth motion. What is our society coming to?

    Well, I am that mother at the park on her iPhone, thank you very much. I’m the one who gets scowled at and pointed to and written about.
    Sometimes it’s the park, others it’s an indoor playzone or maybe it’s a birthday party. If I’m out with my kids, and they are entertained, it’s not uncommon that my iPhone is entertaining me. But that fact doesn’t make me a bad mom. In fact, I’d argue that it helps make me a better one.

    Checking in on Twitter or Facebook allows me to collect myself and maintain a sense of humor about things that might otherwise set me off.
    It’s kind of the social media immersed mother’s version of a long drag on a cigarette. It helps ground me and gain perspective. The permanent marker covered Evan a few years ago would have been far more upsetting than amusing were it not for the ensuing hilarity in Facebook comments.
    Having my friends and community a simple click away is a much needed break at the very least, and a near lifesaver at the most.

    I work from home, and part of working from home (FYI, Marissa Mayer) means taking that work with me, wherever my day may go. I am fortunate to have the freedom and flexibility to bring my kids into school every day and pick them up at three and spend the afternoon and evening hours with them. And I treasure that ability.
    If it means having to respond to e-mails or follow up on things while the rest of the working world is still behind a desk, I don’t see that as a problem. Would it be better to get a traditional desk job and have a nanny caring for them all day and night?

    Besides, being on my phone in public, at places like sports practice where the kids are surrounded by friends and the park where they can run around and play, makes it more likely that I’ll be off of the phone when I’m home alone with them.

    And maybe, I’m on my phone at the park because I don’t really feel like engaging with that preachy looking mother who, if not judging me for my phone use, would most certainly find something else about me to be appalled by.

    I would never, ever claim to be a perfect mother. I have moments of stellar mothering and moments of complete crappiness, and they are usually separated by mere seconds.
    At the end of the day, I strive for two things: 1. To make my children feel loved, and 2. To have the proud parenting moments outweigh the regrettable ones. Adding “always place undivided attention on my children 24/7″ to the list really wouldn’t benefit my children and it sure as hell wouldn’t benefit me.

    One small snippet that someone happens to witness at a park or a restaurant or in a parking lot hardly paints a thorough picture of any family, so judging based on what you happen to catch in a single moment is laughable.
    Almost as laughable as the notion of taking my kids to a bounce zone and having my eyes glued to them jumping up and down for four hours straight.
    Jill Smokler is author of the New York Times bestselling book Confessions of a Scary Mommy and owner of scarymommy.com.


    Read more: http://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/par...#ixzz2NHIbukmd

  2. #2
    αληθη's Avatar
    αληθη is offline BH name read as Aleethee
    Winner 2012 - One most likely to be hacked by Nomsie
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Posts
    2,961
    Thanks
    3,031
    Thanked
    805
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Ehhh everyone needs a small break and a few minutes on your phone while your kid is safely playing is nothing.


    Sent from my talky stick

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    4,765
    Thanks
    1,903
    Thanked
    2,790
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    I was just thinking the other day how great it is that DD gets to stay and play at the park much longer because I have my iPhone. Without it, I reckon she would get max 45 minutes before I'm completely over it and desperate to go home.

  4. The Following User Says Thank You to shelle65 For This Useful Post:

    Wise Enough  (12-03-2013)

  5. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Qld
    Posts
    26,930
    Thanks
    2,736
    Thanked
    6,743
    Reviews
    2
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 postsDiamond Star - 20,000 posts
    I think there needs to be balance.

    A kid doesn't require your endless attention, but it must be hurtful when you're hoping your mother is watching you, and smiling at you, when instead she's mostly always fiddling away on her phone instead.

    I watch, I chat... and I also get bored and want to go home prematurely because I hate the sun, I hate staring at the playground pretending to watch (but I'm really just zoning out, with my eyes pointed in the direction of the playground...lol), etc. So, when those moments occur, I pull out my phone. It's that, or I cut the trip short because I'm sick of it.

  6. The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to SassyMummy For This Useful Post:

    atomicmama  (12-03-2013),DesperatelySeekingSleep  (12-03-2013),Gandalf  (14-03-2013),HugsBunny  (12-03-2013),αληθη  (12-03-2013),soccer mum  (12-03-2013)

  7. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    At the beach
    Posts
    10,495
    Thanks
    1,430
    Thanked
    9,003
    Reviews
    3
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 17/10/14100 Posts in a week
    When I worked in a law firm I was always on my blackberry on my non working days DD1 grabbed it off me one day and threw it to the ground. She hates it when we're on our phones. It drives her crazy. DD2 isn't so bothered.

    I hate it when DH has the kids and is on his phone. He works all the time - the world will survive without him emailing every 2 minutes.

    I agree it's about balance, but I do make a conscious effort not to be on my phone when I'm supposed to be watching the kids. I get annoyed when they ignore me - I guess it's only fair I give them the same courtesy. But DD2 and DS1 are still little so they do need more supervision.

  8. The Following User Says Thank You to Sonja For This Useful Post:

    HugsBunny  (12-03-2013)

  9. #6
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    Melbourne
    Posts
    5,005
    Thanks
    1,052
    Thanked
    3,524
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Me playing on my iPhone too much is the one thing I am most guilty about as a mother. I am probably worse than most as much as I hate to admit it.

    I have deleted the FB and BH app from my phone and am consciously trying really hard to only check it in the evenings or when he is not around or someone else is watching him (like now).

    But I actually find it a real problem. If I could get rid of my iPhone I would

  10. The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to kw123 For This Useful Post:

    LoCo  (12-03-2013),Mom2TwoDSs  (14-03-2013),PippaG  (12-03-2013),SoThisIsLove  (12-03-2013),veggiemama  (12-03-2013)

  11. #7
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Posts
    376
    Thanks
    4
    Thanked
    50
    Reviews
    0
    I agree kw. I am horrified at how much time I spend on my phone

  12. #8
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    3,037
    Thanks
    1,498
    Thanked
    730
    Reviews
    2
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    I am currently at story time on my phone emailing .. My girl is happily joining in ( I do most of the time ) .. I am getting evils from other mums ( mostly hippy ones ) .. Also just had one hippy sit on my foot .. Nice .. People need to mind their own business .. Sometimes I switch off for a few moments as a mum

  13. The Following User Says Thank You to Maybelline For This Useful Post:

    αληθη  (12-03-2013)

  14. #9
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    my house
    Posts
    17,696
    Thanks
    1,391
    Thanked
    7,285
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 posts
    I think a quick glance is different to parents who are glued to the phone.

    I've seen so many parents take their kids to the park and spend the whole time on it without even interacting with their child/ren. I find it sad.

  15. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to BigRedV For This Useful Post:

    αληθη  (12-03-2013),Mom2TwoDSs  (14-03-2013),SoThisIsLove  (12-03-2013)

  16. #10
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Location
    gold coast
    Posts
    842
    Thanks
    100
    Thanked
    103
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by kw123 View Post
    Me playing on my iPhone too much is the one thing I am most guilty about as a mother. I am probably worse than most as much as I hate to admit it.

    I have deleted the FB and BH app from my phone and am consciously trying really hard to only check it in the evenings or when he is not around or someone else is watching him (like now).

    But I actually find it a real problem. If I could get rid of my iPhone I would
    Yep this is me I have been thinking about doing this for awhile and think I may give it a try while i am on maternity leave


 

Similar Threads

  1. HELP ME - Kids Safety app for phones...
    By babyla in forum General Chat
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 04-10-2012, 08:41
  2. Would you let your kids play
    By Elijahs Mum in forum General Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
    Replies: 55
    Last Post: 08-08-2012, 12:47

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Pyjamas.com.au
With so many gorgeous brands and styles for every season, our pyjamas, nighties, robes, sleepsuits and sleeping bags are lovely for lights out and perfect for lazy days. Get 10% off first order using code bubhub. Be quick offer ends 31/12/16.
sales & new stuffsee all
Bub Hub Sales Listing
HAVING A SALE? Let parents know about it with a Bub Hub Sales listing. Listings are featured on our well trafficked Sales Page + selected randomly to appear on EVERY page
featured supporter
The Fix Program Sydney CBD and Broadway
Pregnancy and women's health physio, pregnancy and new mum Pilates classes taught by our physios for you and bub. Pregnancy back and pelvic pain. Also, we treat postnatal and women of all ages. Incontinence, prolapse, sexual and pelvic pain.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!