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  1. #1
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    Default **spinoff** At what point do you think it's valid to express your concern?

    Just going off a few comments from one of my threads about having expressed concern to someone I am close to about the health/development of her child.
    I am wondering at what point hubbers would feel it's time to express concern about a notable health or development issue that you can see in a child of someone you are close to that the parent themselves can not see, yet others are also talking about it?

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    This is a question that has too many variables. Is it a matter of life and death? Is it something that can be fixed? Are you sure? How well do you know the parents?Can you give any helpful advice?
    Definitely something to consider on a case by case basis.

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    Quote Originally Posted by darla87 View Post
    This is a question that has too many variables. Is it a matter of life and death? Is it something that can be fixed? Are you sure? How well do you know the parents?Can you give any helpful advice?
    Definitely something to consider on a case by case basis.
    Hey Darla, I'm talking not life or death because of course if anyone suspected a life or death matter they would speak up (hopefully).
    And as I said in post someone you are close too, definitely not just anybody.
    In my case for eg it was eyes. At first noted at 6 months with a discussion about my sons lazy eye as a baby also then a subtle hint at 2 when it was so clear to everyone he had little control and then finally a fairly big push at 3-3.5 to see someone as in my eyes (total not a professional) he had lost any control he had.
    That was my case
    So I'm wondering when and if there is a right time or if you are going to make that choice to speak up is actually ever a right time.
    Or if you don't ever say anything do you feel awfully guilty when they come to you with news from a dr that you always suspected but kept to yourself?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kelly8329 View Post
    So I'm wondering when and if there is a right time or if you are going to make that choice to speak up is actually ever a right time.
    Or if you don't ever say anything do you feel awfully guilty when they come to you with news from a dr that you always suspected but kept to yourself?
    As I said in your other thread, if I was concerned for the health of a friend or family member's child I would ask them in passing if they'd spoken to their doctor about it and let it go at that.
    If they don't do anything about it there's nothing further that I can do. It's not my child and even if it doesn't sit well with me not my problem/business.

    Or if you want to put it a less direct way if I wouldn't call DOCS in regards to the child's health I wouldn't say anything further. Not agreeing with how someone deals with their children's issues isn't a licence to voice your opinion on it or offer 'helpful' advice on the situation.

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    I have a friend whos son is almost 3 and he doesn't talk, he has mega tantrums all the time (I'm not talking normal toddler tantrums, these are a whole new level, he shuts down totally and almost goes into a trance), he is very agressive (hits other kids, adults, animals), he doesn't listen to anything adults tell him etc etc.

    I don't know if I should say something? My friend keeps saying "oh it's just the terrible twos". My DD was never like that but I don't know if it's normal or not? I want to say something but also don't want to over step a line, if you know what I mean? I genuinely am worried, but, I also don't want to ruin a friendship over it either :S

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    Quote Originally Posted by Anjalee View Post
    I have a friend whos son is almost 3 and he doesn't talk, he has mega tantrums all the time (I'm not talking normal toddler tantrums, these are a whole new level, he shuts down totally and almost goes into a trance), he is very agressive (hits other kids, adults, animals), he doesn't listen to anything adults tell him etc etc.

    I don't know if I should say something? My friend keeps saying "oh it's just the terrible twos". My DD was never like that but I don't know if it's normal or not? I want to say something but also don't want to over step a line, if you know what I mean? I genuinely am worried, but, I also don't want to ruin a friendship over it either :S
    In this case I would say nothing.
    I have been there , even to the point where my friends DS and herself came to meet my son when he was 6 weeks old. Her almost 4 year old literally walked up and smacked my baby on the head then went off to beat up my other two kids not once but three times before I politely said that it was nap time.
    I just don't think u can tell a parent that you don't like their child's behaviour with out it sounding just like that.
    It's tough though because the last thing anyone wants is too see their kids being hurt by another kid continuously

    Thanks Enjo although I disagree with you in my case I do value your input and helping me see other sides of interpretation

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    Lol Eko ****

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    I have a special needs daughter, I had to do all the therapy and doctors visits, so I've learnt quite a bit along the way.
    I've had 2 of my friends kids who I was concerned about and when I mentioned it they were around 4, I got my head bit off so from now one keep my mouth shut.

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    Can I ask what issues you brought up out of curiosity.
    I said in previous thread that I have a friend whose son was diagnosed as Autistic last year. I had my suspicions on him having Autism (I have one nephew with it) for about 6 months before she even mentioned the word autistic to me.
    I didn't feel it was my place in this circumstance to mention my concern and when she did cone out with it I acted a bit baffled as she was sure the Drs were wrong to which I rattled off all the wonderful attributes of her son and that if it is autism then I'm sure it won't change how great her son is.

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    My son is a late talker and since he was a young toddler everyone has felt it their duty to let me know he's not talking well and what am I doing about it.
    It annoyed me to no end because I was we'll aware of MY child's development and we've spoken about it more than once to his dr, had a hearing test and the paed never thought it was a problem, we booked him into speech therapy anyway who thought he was doing great.

    I think for myself I would just mind my own business, there's nothing you can do and the parents are usually talking to professionals and getting advice anyway but don't think it's everyone's business to talk about it.

  11. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Buttermilk For This Useful Post:

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