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  1. #81
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    Quote Originally Posted by Meg2 View Post
    Your concern is valid, but the OP really needs to put herself first at the moment. Hopefully there is another responsible adult on the scene who can take care of the kids, or perhaps their father will be fine once the OP is not there to fall back on. But, Youngmummy2bee is in a very vulnerable position right now and taking responsibility for his children may stop her making the right decision for her own future.
    Agree with you 100%. It's not the Op's responsibility to take care of those boys, but it is SOMEONE'S responsibility, and I just hope someone's doing it. I also think that since the Op HAS been taking care of them, she is more likely to race back to care for them if no one else is, which is why for all of their sakes I hope someone else has stepped up.

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    Quote Originally Posted by CazHazKidz View Post
    Agree with you 100%. It's not the Op's responsibility to take care of those boys, but it is SOMEONE'S responsibility, and I just hope someone's doing it. I also think that since the Op HAS been taking care of them, she is more likely to race back to care for them if no one else is, which is why for all of their sakes I hope someone else has stepped up.
    That's a good point. I hope that someone has stepped up.

  3. #83
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    I suspect the main reason the Op's partner isn't happy with her leaving for a few days is he's losing his baby sitter He might actually have to parent his own kids now *shock horror*

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  5. #84
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    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    I suspect the main reason the Op's partner isn't happy with her leaving for a few days is he's losing his baby sitter He might actually have to parent his own kids now *shock horror*
    Didn't actually relise but this a likely the case. Rang this morning for a talk and heard a DSS in the background. I asked him about it later and they didn't go to school. Not sure why. Didn't want to argue about it.

    EDIT: we live 3 1/2 blocks from the school

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    Can I recommend you stay away for at least a week or even better stay away for 2? No phone contact either. The connection of a woman to a man is as much scientific as it is emotional (which yes is also based on chemicals but bear with me). The human body works on multiple levels of chemical reactions. It takes a minimum of 2 weeks for the brain to stop producing the serotonin that will make you feel as though you 'love' this man and need this man in your life, our bodies get addicted to this like caffeine. Everytime for example, you make contact with an old flame and get that flutter of 'old feelings' rushing back, it's not love, it's serotonin. It takes time to breakthrough the cycle and especially being pregnant is going to be harder with the hormones whizzing around the body. A very confusing time for you, I hope that you are kind to yourself and seek the support you need to have a life you deserve. Big hugs to you!

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  8. #86
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    Just wanted to wish you all the best and second the PP that said no contact at all for at least two weeks. You need a proper break from this man to collect your thoughts and self esteem.
    All the best xx

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ponytail View Post
    Can I recommend you stay away for at least a week or even better stay away for 2? No phone contact either.
    Yep. Make him think you are really considering leaving for good, as opposed to a 'break'. Otherwise nothing will change. He'll know you are coming home, bide his time telling you what you want to hear then once you return, it will go back to like it was before. make him think he's going to lose you. only then will he change...

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ponytail View Post
    Can I recommend you stay away for at least a week or even better stay away for 2? No phone contact either. The connection of a woman to a man is as much scientific as it is emotional (which yes is also based on chemicals but bear with me). The human body works on multiple levels of chemical reactions. It takes a minimum of 2 weeks for the brain to stop producing the serotonin that will make you feel as though you 'love' this man and need this man in your life, our bodies get addicted to this like caffeine. Everytime for example, you make contact with an old flame and get that flutter of 'old feelings' rushing back, it's not love, it's serotonin. It takes time to breakthrough the cycle and especially being pregnant is going to be harder with the hormones whizzing around the body. A very confusing time for you, I hope that you are kind to yourself and seek the support you need to have a life you deserve. Big hugs to you!
    I'd love to say a straight out yes to staying for that long because in theory I think it's a good idea and one I should follow. But putting that into practice is difficult. I have absolutely no will power when it comes to things like this.
    I woke up this morning ready to pack and head home but I didn't (claps for me!!) and I think it's mainly because I am listening to you all. I'm trying to be logical.

  11. #89
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    What can you do to stay busy and boost your own happiness (and self esteem) on your own? Can you walk, swim, get out into nature, or maybe go shopping, or something - anything that'll make YOU happy? Or just drive?

    Whereabouts are you staying?

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  13. #90
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    Quote Originally Posted by Youngmummy2bee View Post
    I'd love to say a straight out yes to staying for that long because in theory I think it's a good idea and one I should follow. But putting that into practice is difficult. I have absolutely no will power when it comes to things like this.
    I woke up this morning ready to pack and head home but I didn't (claps for me!!) and I think it's mainly because I am listening to you all. I'm trying to be logical.
    Well done. It will get easier as the days go on.

    Try and not think about how long in total you need to stay away. When the kids were really little and DH would have to go away for a long stretch and I'd worry how I'd cope. Rather than worrying about the length of time I was on my own I'd tell myself each day I just have to get through the day in front of me. And it didn't seem to hard. Before I knew it a week had passed. Then the next.

    Try and keep really busy and occupied. That helps too.

    This is really too important.


 

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