+ Reply to Thread
Page 11 of 12 FirstFirst ... 9101112 LastLast
Results 101 to 110 of 116
  1. #101
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    Redcliffe
    Posts
    195
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    62
    Reviews
    0
    I've decided that yes, I do want to leave. I want to raise my baby the way I think is appropriate not just do what he did with his ex. I'm getting less and less confident the longer the day goes on. I just need to figure an exit strategy. And I really have no idea.

  2. The Following 16 Users Say Thank You to Youngmummy2bee For This Useful Post:

    AdornedWithCats  (14-03-2013),atomicmama  (14-03-2013),Boobycino  (14-03-2013),ChickyBee  (14-03-2013),Chillies  (14-03-2013),JustUs3  (14-03-2013),Kiplusthree  (14-03-2013),LaDiDah  (14-03-2013),Lincolns mummy  (14-03-2013),mama and her little bearxxx  (14-03-2013),Meg2  (14-03-2013),Mod-Degrassi  (14-03-2013),MrsSS  (14-03-2013),OJandMe  (14-03-2013),shelle65  (14-03-2013),Wise Enough  (14-03-2013)

  3. #102
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Posts
    777
    Thanks
    339
    Thanked
    326
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    You are a very strong, intelligent and mature young lady to make such a huge decision for you and your unborn baby. And it is the right decision!!! Best of luck, and take one day at a time. Gather strength and support from family and loved ones xx

  4. #103
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Posts
    1,095
    Thanks
    1,201
    Thanked
    466
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Youngmummy2bee View Post
    I've decided that yes, I do want to leave. I want to raise my baby the way I think is appropriate not just do what he did with his ex. I'm getting less and less confident the longer the day goes on. I just need to figure an exit strategy. And I really have no idea.
    you can do this! Ive been there, it is scary, but you will be so much happier, good on you!

  5. #104
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Posts
    386
    Thanks
    180
    Thanked
    370
    Reviews
    0
    From everything that you've said that sounds like the right decision. I'm very happy to hear that you are being so brave and strong right now.
    An exit strategy is a great idea. My first suggestion would be to not talk to your partner about this decision until you have organised yourself (with things like accommodation etc). That will put you in a much more empowered situation to have the conversation with him, especially if he is going to be difficult about it. Is sharing with your cousin long-term an option? Otherwise is there any other family that you could stay with? You should probably also contact centerlink to see what sort of support they can give you.
    I'm sure others will have a lot more good advice for you. Good luck, and stay strong!

  6. #105
    harvs's Avatar
    harvs is offline Winner 2014 - Spirit of BubHub Award
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Posts
    9,994
    Thanks
    6,239
    Thanked
    15,889
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 9/4/15Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 2/4/15Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 19/3/15Busiest Member of the Week200 Posts in a week
    Wow! You sound like a very mature young woman. As PP said, I'd get a plan organised, including finances and accommodation so it's a 'done deal' for you mentally. I'm sure somebody on here can give you links to support groups. If there is the slightest chance of violence from him or the cousin, can I suggest organizing a friend to pick up anything you want to hang on to.

    Hang in there, and be sure to ask for help if you need.

  7. #106
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Posts
    2,688
    Thanks
    4,822
    Thanked
    2,373
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Youngmummy2bee View Post
    I've decided that yes, I do want to leave. I want to raise my baby the way I think is appropriate not just do what he did with his ex. I'm getting less and less confident the longer the day goes on. I just need to figure an exit strategy. And I really have no idea.
    Good for u OP!!!! U really need to get in touch with a counsellor/social worker/domestic violence worker to help u with ur plan and for obviously support n accountability for ur decision (keep the willpower strong!).

    Good luck

  8. #107
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Qld
    Posts
    1,293
    Thanks
    1,347
    Thanked
    289
    Reviews
    4
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    What a strong young women!!! Take the advice from others posters and speak to professionals about what avenues to take and have in place so that part is an easier transition.

  9. #108
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Posts
    697
    Thanks
    274
    Thanked
    112
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Wow. I just read this whole thread and am crying. Youngmummy2bee, you are incredibly brave and intelligent. I think that your decision is a very wise one and one that you will not regret in the future. I really earnestly wish you all the very best of luck and fortune - be strong!

    While I've not had an emotionally manipulative partner, I have had another close family member use emotional manipulation to control me. I beg of you to try really REALLY hard to not think about yourself as "young" or "stupid" etc. That is a pattern that they have installed in your thinking for their own purposes to exert their control. I still start those old chains of thought all the time, but am now lightning quick at recognising "here I go again" and then mentally spending some time telling myself things I know are true and that other caring people have told me about myself to try balance out the negative thoughts. it's funny but mentally actually saying "STOP" and then thinking "i'm a kind caring person", "I'm smart and brave" and whatever else you choose actually really helps make you feel stronger again.

    I also agree with other posters, do NOT mention any of your exit strategy with your partner until you are pretty much ready to walk out the door. It is all to easy for them to prey on your low self esteem by saying "where would you even go, you dont know how to XYZ", "you wont be able to survive out there without me" etc etc which can be debilitating and make you feel it's all too hard. And for your and your baby's safety, please have someone there from the moment you say you are leaving. Is it possible for you to not go back at all and get someone else to collect your things? I am scared that when he realises you mean business he might step up his tactics to keep you there. This is also I think a reason why you need to leave once, and for good. If you go back after a couple of months, he will always wonder if/when you'll try leaving again and I loathe to think what he might try to make you feel like you cant.

    I am so impressed with your wisdom and braveness. I really hope that for both your baby and yourself you can weather this storm, as I am sure that even as hard as it will be as a single mother with a newborn you will be happier in the long run. No one deserves to be treated like you have.

  10. The Following User Says Thank You to casio1 For This Useful Post:

    Kiplusthree  (14-03-2013)

  11. #109
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Posts
    1,095
    Thanks
    1,201
    Thanked
    466
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    amazing reply above ^

  12. #110
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    22,839
    Thanks
    6,199
    Thanked
    16,883
    Reviews
    10
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 postsDiamond Star - 20,000 posts
    Awards:
    Bubhub Blogger - Thanks100 Posts in a week
    Agree with casio. Don't tell him you are leaving until you are going. he will try to emotionally manipulate you to stay. organise to stay with family, organise someone to go with you to the house when he's at work. grab clothes, essential paperwork like birth cert etc. Then once you are with family apply to CL for payments. Once that is thru you can looking at getting your own place.
    Last edited by delirium; 14-03-2013 at 19:12.


 

Similar Threads

  1. help -MAJOR TMI ALERT
    By frannysfeet in forum Pregnancy & Birth General Chat
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 05-09-2012, 21:10
  2. Major vent and need suggestions!
    By Bunny Lover in forum General Chat
    Replies: 33
    Last Post: 03-06-2012, 06:55
  3. VENT VENT VENT Telstra is so difficult to talk to,
    By sweetseven in forum General Chat
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 25-03-2012, 09:09

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Nice Pak Products
Australian Made and Owned. The Baby U Goat Milk Skincare range is enriched with soothing goats milk sourced from country, Victoria. Goat's milk has a pH level close to that of our own skin and contains natural sources of amino acids and vitamins.
sales & new stuffsee all
Bub Hub Sales Listing
HAVING A SALE? Let parents know about it with a Bub Hub Sales listing. Listings are featured on our well trafficked Sales Page + selected randomly to appear on EVERY page
featured supporter
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!