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  1. #31
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    lambjam is offline Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kimberleygal1 View Post
    My ds1 went to daycare since he was 9mths old but he never had behaviour such as this. My ds2 is also at daycare and the same, his behaviour is fine. I haven't seen a big change in their behaviour because they go to daycare.
    My DS1 also went to childcare full-time from 9 months and he's always been the most gentle soul; kind, compassionate, giving.

    DS3 hasn't spent a day in care in his life, and had my full attention every day until he was 22 months, at which point he shared it with his sister. He's incredibly rough and tumble, adventurous, and not terribly considerate of others.

    I think personality will win out, whatever the setting.
    Last edited by lambjam; 07-03-2013 at 10:42.

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  3. #32
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    I actually thought about my comment re daycare further after I made it .... What I said isn't quite right. What I think is more accurate is that in a child with an inherit tendency to be wild etc, daycare can bring that out.

    My son has been wild since birth, so it's a bit chicken and egg. If he'd never been to daycare he would never have learnt some of the expressions he says that are a bit obnoxious and I think wod be a little less lord of the flies but tbh that's just hkm.


    It's more accurate to say that another environment might have civilised him more.

    My 3 daughters also go / went to daycare and aren't boisterous (or not particularly so)

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    lambjam  (08-03-2013)

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    I feel mean to my son lol, he isn't aggressive or cruel ever. He's just.... extremely noticeable in a small space shall we say. He is constantly hurting his sisters but not by punching them.. He seems to sort of roll on them or lean on them or knock them over like skittles accidentally somehow

    Anyway sorry to be OT

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    I think the main issue here is the boys access to a knife and the fact that he cut his finge off. I'm suprised the hospital did not order the incident to be looked into . I would not have the playdate again. The boy obviously needs friends but I think do not let your boy go to his house. In his own environment he is probably even rougher and your son needs your protection on this. At 5 I cannot believe he is asking to watch movies with blood. It's really a bad start in life when movies are shown which will normalize pain and blood and gore to a child. No way .

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    I don't think DD has any friends that I dislike. I don't have that much to do with them though - she's not that interested in out-of-school-hours play with her friends.

    Some kids are just different, but the fact that he could cut his finger off... and then go back to hack at the rest of it, would make me think something was seriously not right with this child.

    I'd be polite to him, and I wouldn't say, "you can't be friends with him," or anything, but I'd just not really be inviting him over to my house or letting my child go over his if I were you.

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    There is no way I would be inviting that child over for a play date again. I would also not allow my child to visit there. Sounds like a "household where anything goes".

    My DD has just started kindy and each week I go in to do groups. It's good because I get to know the children and have been gently suggesting DD play with so and so because they seem nice. Nothing wrong with encouraging friendships IMO.

  9. #37
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    Eko is offline Acrobatic Dominatrix.
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    Haven't read all the replies, but no WAY would I let my son play with a child like that!
    Sounds like he has far more going on in his head/home than just being a brat, I mean he cut his own finger off?! Most kids would cut, see the blood and freak out and call mum or dad. Not keep going!

    I genuinely feel sorry for that child. There's something major in that little mind and it sounds like he's not getting the care that he should be.
    But in the mean time I wouldn't let my child play with any child that thinks that blood, fighting, and hitting animals is a good thing.
    I'd cancel the playdate asap and I certainly wouldn't be organising any more.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kimberleygal1 View Post
    My ds who is nearly 5 has lots of friends at school, including my good friends boy who is autistic who is a lovely boy, I've been along to alot of information sessions etc to learn more about autism considering he is my ds's good friend and we have so much to do with the family socially and there is occassions where I look after him so I thought it best all round if I educated myself. I have no issues at all with this boy as I know his mannerisms, moods etc now.

    But ds has 2 other boys he associates with at school that I just don't like much. This one boy is 5 going on 10, always has an answer for everything, he has been in trouble often for fighting on the school bus. I have tried to avoid playdates at most opportunities but I know I shouldn't and am trying to be a little bit more chilled.

    So last week after ds pestering me all week re a play over I picked ds and master L up from school. He gets in the car and says "Can we swear at your house?" Ds says "no we aren't allowed to swear at our house hey mum" in which I replied "that's right, no swearing allowed at our place". master L says "well mum lets me swear at my place". I am thinking surely not but anyway away we went home. We get home and I put ds2 down for his sleep and tell the boys it's quiet time while ds2 is sleeping so how about choosing a movie and watching it. Master L says "do you have scary movies with blood" I say "no" He says "how about movies with fighting". I am now thinking, what is with this kid. I explain that ds doesn't watch those types of movies. I spend all arvo looking at the clock wishing it was time for his mum to collect him. I have had to tell him things more than once, he jumps on lounges and ds's bed, ds came in to tell me he was being nasty to the dogs and smacking the puppy. I took them swimming in the pool and he holds ds under water. He slammed ds's fingers in the bedroom door and then disn't seem fazed that ds was screaming his head off and I seriously don't think it registered he had hurt ds. I was exhausted by the time he went home.

    This same child cut his finger off with a fishing knife to the point it was hanging by the tendens so he literally decided to keep cutting and cut it off. How or why his dads fishing knife was within his reach is beyond me and I worry about ds going over there for a play on Friday!

    I know we can't and shouldn't try to choose our children's friends but...
    It doesn't seem to impact on ds's behaviour which is a positive.
    I can tell you now that there is no way in hell my child would be going to that child's house. If your instinct is telling you something is off then it probably is. My parents used to let me do anything I wanted so I used to watch Zombie movies, jaws and all sorts of things and my friends used to watch it too when they came over because that's what I watched.

    I personally wouldn't allow your DS to be over there.. I'd be questioning what the parenting style is..

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    Im all about encouraging my children to be friends with who they like. But if a child makes me uncomfortable for whatever reason - then I am the parent and will put a stop to the friendship.

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    The cutting finger off thing is very disturbing. Was it able to be saved/ stitched on again?? He sounds like a little boy with a lot of psychological issues.

    On the basis of what you've said, I wouldn't let my child play with him.


 

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