My ds who is nearly 5 has lots of friends at school, including my good friends boy who is autistic who is a lovely boy, I've been along to alot of information sessions etc to learn more about autism considering he is my ds's good friend and we have so much to do with the family socially and there is occassions where I look after him so I thought it best all round if I educated myself. I have no issues at all with this boy as I know his mannerisms, moods etc now.
But ds has 2 other boys he associates with at school that I just don't like much. This one boy is 5 going on 10, always has an answer for everything, he has been in trouble often for fighting on the school bus. I have tried to avoid playdates at most opportunities but I know I shouldn't and am trying to be a little bit more chilled.
So last week after ds pestering me all week re a play over I picked ds and master L up from school. He gets in the car and says "Can we swear at your house?" Ds says "no we aren't allowed to swear at our house hey mum" in which I replied "that's right, no swearing allowed at our place". master L says "well mum lets me swear at my place". I am thinking surely not but anyway away we went home. We get home and I put ds2 down for his sleep and tell the boys it's quiet time while ds2 is sleeping so how about choosing a movie and watching it. Master L says "do you have scary movies with blood" I say "no" He says "how about movies with fighting". I am now thinking, what is with this kid. I explain that ds doesn't watch those types of movies. I spend all arvo looking at the clock wishing it was time for his mum to collect him. I have had to tell him things more than once, he jumps on lounges and ds's bed, ds came in to tell me he was being nasty to the dogs and smacking the puppy. I took them swimming in the pool and he holds ds under water. He slammed ds's fingers in the bedroom door and then disn't seem fazed that ds was screaming his head off and I seriously don't think it registered he had hurt ds. I was exhausted by the time he went home.
This same child cut his finger off with a fishing knife to the point it was hanging by the tendens so he literally decided to keep cutting and cut it off. How or why his dads fishing knife was within his reach is beyond me and I worry about ds going over there for a play on Friday!
I know we can't and shouldn't try to choose our children's friends but...
It doesn't seem to impact on ds's behaviour which is a positive.