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  1. #1
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    Default My 4yo DD is driving me CRAZY!!!

    The whinging, the tantrums the refussing to listen and the tourmenting her 2yo brother are really starting to get to me.
    Trying to get her to do anything...shower, dressed, picking up toys all ends in a screaming tantrum. Getting her ready for kindy is just rediculous. I almost cant be bothered with it. When its time to go home from somewhere...cue the tantrum. She whinges constantly and its driving me crazy.

    Also, shes started talking gibberish...WTF is that about.

    All she want to do is watch tv and even her favourite things to do (crafts etc) she whinges all though.

    someone please tell me this is normal or how to parent a 4 year old!!!!

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    Normal. Everyone talks about terrible 2's - I found them easy compared to 3's & 4's. Everything takes so much longer and the constant arguments are exhausting.

    I just went with my normal parenting strategies - pick your battles & if I say it, I mean it and will follow through. My youngest is almost 5 and getting a lot better.

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    loislane2010  (06-03-2013)

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    Im thinking a little clearer now...ive finished my coffee and got some fresh air .

    Could the fact that shes started kindy have anything to do with this behaviour? Shes gone from napping everyday for 2 hours to 2/3 days of no nap and full days of kindy. Tiredness maybe??

    All she wants to do when she comes home from kindy is watch tv and eat. And if she doesnt get to she throws huge tantrums or whinges all arvo. Should i just let her watch tv all arvo??

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    My 4yo is the same! He went a little bad at 3 but 4 golly gosh! I really hope it ends. Surely there is light at the end of the tunnel. Apparently they can act up when they start kindy especially if they have never been in a structured environment but I think generally it's a 4yo thing!
    I love him to bits but he nags, whines, cries, torments his little bro and is generally a brat at least 90% of the day. I go to bed exhausted every single night!
    We had a marvelous weekend of hardly any tantrums and he was so well behaved but yesterday back to square one!
    I have started a tub... If he is being naughty I take 2 of his favorite toys and put them in the tub and then when he is being good he can choose 1 to have back. This is really working for him, it's hard and causes more tantrums when I first take them but it has really helped with his behavior. Other than that he can "cool" down in his bedroom at his own accord or if its terrible he can sit in the corner for 5minutes.
    4year olds are HARD work! Def the hardest age I've dealt with so far! 2year olds are a dream compared!

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    I think it's maybe something to do with them learning who is in charge. They know we make the rules but want to test boundaries. I think you need to maybe just make sure you follow through with things, give one warning and then go about it. My bigger flaw was backing down so he walks all over me - its getting better but a very hard habit to break!

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    My 3.5 year old sounds the same. I was whining to my sister the other day who laughed at me and said "terrible 2s have nothing on the f'ing 4s"! What...i cant imagine it getting worse argh!!!

    Everyone is saying "oh it's due to the baby arriving". He is only 6 weeks old, this has been going on for 6 months!

    I've got no advice sorry, but hoping to steal tips from others who reply

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    Tiredness was the first thing that jumped out at me, my 3yr old is only like that when she is tired. I believe kids need a lot of sleep, including daytimes.

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    My partner's little sister was like this when she was younger (10 now), and it was EXHAUSTING. I can't imagine what it'd be like to deal with full time.

    All in all, she got a lot better as she got older. A couple of things which were helpful with her were warnings/consequences/following through (eg. "you need to stay away from the cat. If you chase the cat again, you'll have a time out" etc). and preparation.

    I found preparing her for what we expected worked wonders. So for example, if we were going to the supermarket I'd give her a couple of simple things that I expected of her like staying with us, not asking for anything. I'd then tell her multiple times on the way, and then stop her before we went in and tell her again what was expected. Then heap on the praise for following those expectations.

    All the best!

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    I can't add to what's been said in terms of solutions, but I completely sympathize. DS is like this much of the time. I think not enough sleep is often the problem for him. Thanks for asking the question - helpful for many of us no doubt to have some fresh ideas

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    My nearly 4 year old has been resisting 'bedtime', as in going to bed at the same time as her siblings. We don't push it and let her quietly lie in the lounge room till she gets sleepy, which can result in her not getting as many hours sleep as she needs and therefore she is quite often tired in the day and then short fused, whingy and sometimes intolerable.

    So tiredness can most definitely effect behaviour.

    With my DD, I try and get her away from wanting to just plonk herself in front of the tv, but sometimes it's handy in that she will drift off alseep in the day in front of it and gets some of the sleep she missed out on.


 

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