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  1. #11
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    OMG...What a sad sad story! My heart absolutely breaks for that little girl who has this miserable short life ahead of her.

    In terms of what was done - although I can see both sides and abortion is certainly not something anyone usually wants to do, but the contract did cover this circumstance and the parents wishes have been honoured. I can't imagine being in the position where some rogue surrogate is running away with my baby?? yeeesh what a horrible mess and no one has come out a winner!

  2. #12
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    Not like it matters, but I wondered if the parents knew the surrogate had previously had 2 miscarriages. I thought that when choosing a surrogate, someone who is using their last 2 'shots' in one go would be picky enough to want someone who hasnt had miscarriages.

    BUT, I dont pretend to know a single thing about surrogacy, IVF or anything like that so I could be way off.

  3. #13
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    Personally I think the carrier was wrong in going against the parents. She is a carrier, not the mother. She should have abided by the parents wish not disputed it.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kimberleygal1 View Post
    Personally I think the carrier was wrong in going against the parents. She is a carrier, not the mother. She should have abided by the parents wish not disputed it.
    But she still has a right to body autonomy.

    I don't think she was wrong or right. I don't think there is a wrong or right. There were 3 people part of this pregnancy, and at the end of the day, the carrier has (and should have) the final say, because it is her body.
    Just like when a couple are faced with the decision to abort, it's the mothers decision in the end, because its her body.
    No one can, or should, make someone have an abortion (or medical procedure) against their wishes.

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  6. #15
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    Man, this is a tough one I feel for both parties in a way. I feel for the parents because they had to make the heartbreaking decision to terminate (which would be hell for them given how much they obviously wanted the baby) only to have their wishes not met and have to go through lawyers/court cases etc and drag out the pain.

    But, I also feel for the surrogate too. Having an abortion must be a horrible experience and one that would not be easy to make so being told to do it when it doesn't sit well with you, well..... that would be horrible. I guess the terms should have been mapped up far more clearly to begin with.

    The one thing that doesn't sit well with me is the surrogate asking for more money to terminate. I know it says "in a moment of weakness" but that just screams "I still want my money and I don't want to have to pay back any of the money I've already been paid". I could be totally off the mark there though.

    There are no winners in this situation how horrible

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kimberleygal1 View Post
    Personally I think the carrier was wrong in going against the parents. She is a carrier, not the mother. She should have abided by the parents wish not disputed it.
    I agree. The carrier should not have a say in the final outcome essentially she is the vessel to birth this child and not a decision maker in the outcome. Whilst I realize she is a human too, and it may not be what she wants but she gave up the right to an opinion about the baby's life when she agreed to be a surrogate. In my opinion



    Sent from my iPhone :-)

  8. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anjalee View Post
    The one thing that doesn't sit well with me is the surrogate asking for more money to terminate. I know it says "in a moment of weakness" but that just screams "I still want my money and I don't want to have to pay back any of the money I've already been paid". I could be totally off the mark there though.
    I have to agree. It doesnt seem like she was asking for more knowing that they wouldnt pay it, it seems like she was doing a ditch effort to be greedy and it backfired so she claimed it as a moment of weakness.

    (to cover my butt from shots, obviously I dont KNOW if this was the case, this is simply how it came across to *me* )

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  10. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kimberleygal1 View Post
    Personally I think the carrier was wrong in going against the parents. She is a carrier, not the mother. She should have abided by the parents wish not disputed it.
    This. Things like this should have been thoroughly discussed so borth parties were clear before they even agreed. If the surrogate was against abortion, she should have stated that in the beginning so the parents could make a clear decision and vise versa.

    The fact that she asked for an extra $5k to consider going through with it didn't sit well with me. If you're against abortion for $10k, where in the extra $5k does your reasoning change?

  11. #19
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    The parents had my sympathy and understanding, same with the surrogate.

    Up until the surrogate asked for more money and the parents tried to sue for parental control just so they could give the baby up for adoption.

    Im glad the little girl is with loving parents now.

    Sent from my HUAWEI-U8850 using BubHub

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  13. #20
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    rainbow road is offline look at the stars, look how they shine for you
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    I think everyone is at fault.

    She agreed after one meeting! That is irresponsible of both parties. How can you know after one meeting that you'll be on the same page regarding the good and bad?

    Why is there no mandatory counselling for both parties, individually and together, to discuss the outcomes of the worst case scenarios?! We had counselling when doing IVF with donor sperm so to not have it done when another person is carrying your baby seems hugely irresponsible to me.

    I also agree the asking for extra money was distasteful at best.

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