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  1. #241
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    i need to go home to do the sums...im pretty sure we can "survive" if i work a 2 day week...i was thinking even just holding off til she is 18 months....H was cared for by my father for 2 days in addition to the 2 days at daycare when i returned to work last time and i coped ok with that arrangement..he was going to look after the baby for that extra day but then he got sick and i thought "oh well its ok she can just go into daycare that day" but i cannot shake my feeling that 3 days at daycare is too much stimulation for her at this point. i find myself not being able to bring myself to do things like try to night wean cos i feel sorry for her !!!! she is more clingy than harry ever was....i just have terrible visions of her crying all morning when they say she is "unsettled" in the mornings...honestly it must be awful for ppl who have no choice but put their kids in FT care.

  2. #242
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    JFB - I know how you feel. I thought I had done the wrong thing putting Evie in 2 days this year when she wouldn't settle and hated it when I left her, then she got to the point of not letting me out of her sight anywhere we went and wouldn't stay with anyone not even my parents. She has finally settled in and asks when she can go and see the kids and play in the cubby house (meaning daycare). She is always ferral and exhausted at the end of the 2 days, now I'm questioning if consecutive days is good for her. She has fun but kids in daycare don't get the 'love' they really need IYKWIM. I will be very torn when I find work to put her in another day, I'm hoping my SIL will be reliable to help me out. I have the hugest guilt for starting her at all when she was just a baby, have always felt she was too young then but I didn't know how things were going to pan out with my job back then, when it ended I kicked myself for putting her in that young. Some people don't have a problem doing it but I did, but I'm sure most people wouldn't do it if it wasn't a necessity. My niece with the disability has her son in family daycare 2 days a week and apparently he loves it, he's 22 months, would you consider family daycare?

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    jfblady72  (18-04-2013)

  4. #243
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    Lucy thrived at daycare although she always cried when I left her. She never wanted to leave when we picked her up. Scarlett is a completely different child. She was ok when she was around 1 but when I started her at preschool when she was 3 she was miserable. She would settle but there were times throughout the day when she'd go off on her own and have a cry. It really broke my heart but deep down I knew at 3 she needed to be socialised and I needed a break from her. She has severe separation anxiety and it makes being around her very draining some days.

    She is the opposite of Lucy, who is confident, social and thrives in others company. Scarlett needs personal space, and while she's becoming increasingly more social, she'd still rather be at home with Marc.

    I'm glad we've done things the way we have with her though and didn't do the same with her that we did with Lucy. She'd never have coped. I didn't go back to working in a law firm after we moved because we knew she's never cope in long day care 3 days a week. It would have destroyed her. It was a massive financial burden to turn my back on that work but it was the only right decision to make. We had to sell a lot of investments and it wasn't easy.

    I guess all I'm saying is listen to your heart and your gut. She will be different from H and will adapt differently. Don't do something you're not comfortable doing. You're her mum and you definitely know better than anyone else (including your DH) what the right decision is. DH and I have disagreed a lot over this but I know I made the right choice in the end.

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    jfblady72  (18-04-2013)

  6. #244
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    JFB - I have the same issue with childcare. The added problem for me is Stella is now in a brace and I just don't trust the carers to manage it properly. It's not their fault. The brace is foam, plastic and velcro and it's easy to put it on incorrectly and stuff up her hip again So I'm putting off going back to work until I know her socket is growing around her hip bone successfully. As it is, the brace has to be on for about a year, and with surgery still a possibility now, I don't want to add any risks to her care. Every situation is unique, and I just think as the others have said so well, you need to follow your gut. Only you can decide what is best for your family (yes, above your DH too as mums tend to be intimately aware of their childrens needs and feelings).

    'Hi' to everyone else. Sorry for the lack of personals. I've been swamped by Stella's care, house repairs and Stella's Baptism which we had on Sunday. It was a small affair due to her brace, but was a perfect day. She had a great time, and we have a wonderful lunch with friends and family after the service.

  7. #245
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    FFS. I tried to go to bed over an hour ago.
    I checked spencer and he woke and whinged long enough to wake Archie. Now both boys are awake. Archie is going ballistic. Tried patting him, cuddling him, gave him Nurofen and now have to let him CIO because nothing I am doing is helping and I then had to calm down spencer too.
    Honestly. These kids have slept like sh!t since DH has been away. Nice to know I'll be awake in 4.5 hours too. Yay.

  8. #246
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    Mg...mykids often have the WORSt sleeps when dh is on night shift or away....i have been lucky in that h only woke e about once but once was enuf....had to laugh at the nurofen....sometimes i think i use too much pain relief but when you have covered everything else i always reach for the bottle of panadol ...e woke foyr times last night...cold i think.

    milli, yes i wouldn't trust anyone with a brace either, hope she doesnt have to have surgery,

  9. #247
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    Oh yes jfb. I pull out the drugs often if I have exhausted all other avenues!

    Had 4 hours sleep. Feel like death warned up. Spencer woke at 5 as usual. I can't wait until he finally sleeps in. I think because he naps during the day, he doesn't sleep in. Unfortunately he often doesn't cope particularly well with staying awake during the day.
    Perhaps I need to pull his naps to only a couple of times a week and see if the starts sleeping in.

  10. #248
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    Omg....seriously they know.....thebaby of course will not go to sleep tonight and dh has gone out...i can feel myself getting crankier by the second...of course it would be tonight....

  11. #249
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    Break out the chocolate and wine jfb.

  12. #250
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    MG I really feel for you. Two kids, both not sleeping and having to get up for them again and start over in the morning is terrible. I hope you have someone you can ring today to give you a little break. Ruby pretty much won't have a day sleep when she is home. It means she is horrid for most of the afternoon. Seriously she is like one of the horrid children I used to look at and think OMG (lol), and they have her on max hour sleep at daycare as we were finding it harder and harder to get her to sleep at night. Some days though ill take her out for a drive about 1.30 just to give her a 20 min nap so she doesn't turn into the bad seed.


 

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