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  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by mama and her little bear View Post
    It says defend yourself when someone attacks you and as his parent I will encourage him to do so as a last resort

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    I don't agree with this at all.

    I adopt what they do at kindy - I firmly ask the child to move away, and if they won't then we move away. My kids have been followed around playgrounds by random kids who seem to become attracted to them or something. DD2 finds it really upsetting as she is extremely shy. 9 times out of 10 the parents are around and usually intervene so it's resolved.

    I would never, ever condone my child hitting back, nor would I ever lay hands on another child unless they were actually on top of one of my kids and I was getting them off.

  2. #12
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    If the mum didn't do anything I'd let the first one go. If her son hurt my son again then is day something. Just something like we don't push/hurt other kids its not nice.

    Since the mum tried to make her son apologise (I think she could have done better, not just let the kid run off) I'd let it go.

  3. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by missie_mack View Post
    Really? To me it says it is ok to hit....
    I understand what you are saying but I think that sometimes, and a very rarely 'sometimes' people have to physically defend themselves. It should never be the first choice but there are times that words such as no and stop and walking away do not work.

    I remember as a child a boy hassling me and he hit me. I went home and told my parernts and they said to hit him back if it ever happened again. It did happen again, I hit him and that child never gave me any trouble again. Was this an ideal way to handle the situation?, probably not, but it worked and saved me from further problems.

  4. #14
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    It's always hard in these situations. I had my then 2.5 year old playing in a group at a park. Along came another child (about 3-4) who pulled my childs hair and wouldn't let go. I said let go, then went and took her hand off my childs head. She ripped out a handful of hair. I hear from behind a mother yelling do not touch my child. She didn't give a toss about my childs hair still in her childs hand, only that I had touched her child. She continued to yell and rant as she finally walked over. Continued to yell and rant despite numerous other parents stating she was pulling hair. She took the hair out of her childs hair threw it at me and walked off in a huff. It's not worth trying to teach manners to some

  5. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by mama and her little bear View Post
    It says defend yourself when someone attacks you and as his parent I will encourage him to do so as a last resort

    Sent from my HTC Wildfire S A510b using BubHub
    How old is your son? Surely we shouldn't be teaching children who are still so young that it is ok to hit sometimes?! IMO they are to young to discern when it is *ok* to hit. They're more likely to view hitting as ok and in turn become the attacker...

  6. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by MsTruth View Post
    I understand what you are saying but I think that sometimes, and a very rarely 'sometimes' people have to physically defend themselves. It should never be the first choice but there are times that words such as no and stop and walking away do not work.

    I remember as a child a boy hassling me and he hit me. I went home and told my parernts and they said to hit him back if it ever happened again. It did happen again, I hit him and that child never gave me any trouble again. Was this an ideal way to handle the situation?, probably not, but it worked and saved me from further problems.
    I have to agree with this partly. There are instances in life where we NEED to defend ourselves! Kids do need to learn this skill!

  7. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by escapee View Post
    It's always hard in these situations. I had my then 2.5 year old playing in a group at a park. Along came another child (about 3-4) who pulled my childs hair and wouldn't let go. I said let go, then went and took her hand off my childs head. She ripped out a handful of hair. I hear from behind a mother yelling do not touch my child. She didn't give a toss about my childs hair still in her childs hand, only that I had touched her child. She continued to yell and rant as she finally walked over. Continued to yell and rant despite numerous other parents stating she was pulling hair. She took the hair out of her childs hair threw it at me and walked off in a huff. It's not worth trying to teach manners to some
    That is appalling!! Removing the child's hand would have been my first instinct too. I don't understand some parents who can't see that their child may actually be in the wrong.

    I would have wanted to jump on her and pull her hair out !

  8. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by mama and her little bear View Post
    if a kid pushed my son over once I would say loudly hey! that's not very nice.
    unless it was like a baby or something because young babies / toddlers dont have the concept of cause and affect yet.

    if the kid continued I would tell ds to give it back,
    if my son didnt and it still continued I would sit near my son and when it happened again I'd say go away and dont come near my child again

    eta I thought it said she didnt try and appolagise,
    well not alot you can do, mum did the right thing sometimes kids do that
    The 'they hit me first' thing won't fly with teachers, schools or judges though.

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  10. #19
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    OP, I think you did the right things

    Children do the wrong things sometomes and as long as the parent is sorry and talks to their child then I'm hapy.

    If there are no adults around then I would say nicely, please don't push. That hurts.....and leave it at that.

  11. #20
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    I think every situation is specific and needs to be approached appropriately according to that situation.

    The Ops situation was handled perfectly and I would have handled it the same way, either if I was the op or the other childs parent. Kids will have scraps. Let the offender know it wasn't appropriate and move on.

    If I child was hurting mine and their parent or guardian was not making any attempt to stop this, I would quietly but definitely let the child know that the behaviour needed to stop.

    If like a PP mentioned a child was physically holding, wrestling, pulling hair etc and nothing was being done, I would obviously physically remove the child (gently) myself. I'm not letting my kid get hurt even if it might mean some dumb *** lazy parent might get their knickers in a knot.

    As for those defending their right to teach their children to hit back.. I'm sorry but no. This is not appropriate at all. YES self defense is important - but at this age, self defense is - tell an adult, defend yourself verbally, remove yourself from the situation.


 

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