+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 9 of 9
  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Brisbane
    Posts
    580
    Thanks
    176
    Thanked
    145
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts

    Default Re-partnering: the financial side

    Hi all.

    I have been a single Mum to my 14 m/o since she was 2 months old. I started seeing someone in October last year and things are perfect - he is amazing with DD and just a sweet & thoughtful guy. We are moving in together in the next few months which means moving from a PPS to PPP - but DP earns so much that I am entitled to no PPP/FTB & childcare costs will triple. I understand why and I get it (so please no 'your DP earns enough, get over it' comments please), but for those who have repartnered, how did you deal with losing your financial independence? I work 3 days a week, but 70-80% of that will now go to childcare & DDs Dad isn't hugely helpful financially.

    Anyway, just looking for any advice to help cope with the pride side of losing financial independence! Thanks

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Posts
    19,776
    Thanks
    5,212
    Thanked
    7,063
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 posts
    I had to swallow my pride and let him pay half/most of the costs

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Posts
    343
    Thanks
    142
    Thanked
    108
    Reviews
    0
    ^^^ what Benji said

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Posts
    8,705
    Thanks
    581
    Thanked
    647
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    One of the expenses of him moving in is the loss of the PPS and the FTB so I think it only fair that the other expenses (even those of a child) are shared. Unfortunately with children- you go from 0-100 in 30sec. Very difficult to navigate. Good luck though- he sounds like a catch!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Brisbane
    Posts
    580
    Thanks
    176
    Thanked
    145
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Thanks . DP has said outright he doesn't mind paying for everything but it's definitely my pride getting in the way! Btmac - great idea . I still want to have my own money too!

    How have you found contributing to things like rent and bills? Childcare takes up so much of my income, I would only really be able cover my car repayment, phone & PHI with little left over!

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    Brisbane Bayside
    Posts
    875
    Thanks
    12
    Thanked
    408
    Reviews
    3
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by btmac View Post
    Porkypies one way of dealing with household bills and unequal pay is to agree to each pay a certain percentage of your wages into the household bills. So if he earns $2,000 per week and you earn $500 per week but both pay 20% into the household that means he pays $400 per week and you pay $100. So you are each contribution equally... Hope that makes sense
    And then all expenses related to the house, kids, or both of you come out of this account. For example, all rates (electricity, Internet, etc), grocery shopping, car registration and insurance, home insurance, date night, child care fees, holidays, household purchases (new couch, fix the washing machine), etc.
    So you might find that 20% of your incomes isn't enough, and both contribute a higher percentage. Anything that isn't moved into that account is yours, and no explanations or justifications for what it's spent on are required.
    It's important to feel somewhat financially independent, otherwise resentment on both sides can build and ruin a relationship


 

Similar Threads

  1. Snap and go frames which do side by side?
    By rums in forum Parents of Multiple-Births
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 07-01-2013, 10:07
  2. Please Advise on Side by Side Pram for Twins
    By rums in forum Parents of Multiple-Births
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 21-12-2012, 21:11
  3. Baby thrashing head from side to side in bed???
    By CamD in forum General Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 14-11-2012, 10:23

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Pyjamas.com.au
With so many gorgeous brands and styles for every season, our pyjamas, nighties, robes, sleepsuits and sleeping bags are lovely for lights out and perfect for lazy days. Get 10% off first order using code bubhub. Be quick offer ends 31/12/16.
sales & new stuffsee all
Pea Pods
Buy 2 Award Winning Pea Pods Reusable One Size Nappies for only $38 (in your choice of colours) and receive a FREE roll of Bamboo Liners. Don't miss out, we don't usually have discounts on the nappies, so grab this special offer!
Special Offer! Save $12
featured supporter
ProSwim
ProSwim runs learn to swim classes for babies, children and adults. Our indoor centre in Plympton Park has lessons all year round, including school holidays. We also offer outdoor programs during the summer months (Oct-Mar) at Rostrevor college.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!