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  1. #1
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    Default sex after giving birth

    It's been 5 months now since I had my daughter and myself and my husband have not had sex since. He keeps asking me and I keep saying no, no, no. I had a hemmorage after birth and I am completely terrified that something might happen after we have sex. I've never in my life been able to have an orgasm so I never really enjoyed sex that much in the first place.

    Am I the only one? Does any one else have these problems??

  2. #2
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    I also had a haemorrhage after dd1 so I understand the fear but 5 months is a long time, your husband must be very accepting as he has needs also. Just take it slowly but I believe the longer you wait fear will take over and you may not ever want to dtd and that's not a healthy relationship (not saying you have to feel pressured into anything you don't want to do) if its really taking over perhaps you should speak to your gp.
    In terms of orgasm you sound anxious so perhaps your not allowing yourself.

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    Hugs. Have you had your postnatal check up? If so then I'm sure nothing will happen as a result of your PPH.

    I also had a PPH and first DTD 5 weeks after birth. It was sore and not that much fun but I wanted to get it over and done with lol!! It hurt a few times after that but not too much and then not at all.

    It sounds like its more a mental thing than physical thing for you..? I would have a glass of vino and get it over with the longer you leave it the harder it will be!

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    ~Marigold~ is offline You make me happy, when skies are grey
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    [QUOTE=kw123;7113667] I would have a glass of vino and get it over with QUOTE]

    lol ^

    OP I agree, 5 months is quite a long time to wait; you should be well healed by now and s.ex should not be painful- like pp said, definitely sounds like a mental thing vs physical... there may be some issues you might want to look into, especially as you mentioned that you have never experienced an orgasm. Did you know that it's actually very rare for a woman to have an orgasm through intercourse alone? If you are expecting it to happen from that alone don't hold your breath! Seriously though, if it's becoming as issue for you and your DH maybe have a chat with your health care professional? Good luck.

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    Lubricant is your friend!

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    Quote Originally Posted by 2Bboys View Post
    Lubricant is your friend!
    YES YES YES! God I dread the first time after birth. Not just because of feeling sore (I have caesars) but I am so uncomfortable from breastfeeding. It really sometimes is a case of getting it over with (god DH would kill me if he knew )

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    Tell him he has too woo you and spend a night together dinner etc maybe it will get you in the mood and you won't stress too much about it . Just don't feel pressured to do it and good luck

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    I completely understand! If you're worried about the PPH I'd recommend talking to your GP or OB/GYN. I'm sure it's fine but the Dr might put your mind at ease.

    Could it be that you're using the PPH as an excuse though? Maybe even subconsciously? It sounds like you don't enjoy it regardless so maybe it's giving you a reason to say no.

    It's really important not to feel pressured. Maybe you can just start off doing other things to work on the intimacy first - like hold hands when you're out, go do something fun together, lots of hugs, cook up a fancy meal and sit down to enjoy it with a good wine and a laugh. There are lots of things you can try. As long as your DH understands its not necessarily going to lead to sex straight away so you don't feel pressured.

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    As per recent study from Australia, Most of women say that they have started sex again 6 to 8 weeks after giving birth to first child.

    Only 10 percent of women will give birth to their first child without suffering a trauma to the perineum, it is reasonable for most couples to anticipate a delay to the start of vaginal sex after childbirth, the researchers said.It is useful information for couples to know before their baby is born, and may help reduce feelings of anxiety and guilt about not resuming sexual activity.

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    Big hugs. I had a PPH after DS was born and was quit nervous about having sex again. Like the others posters have said, take it slowly, use lubricant if needed and try to relax. 5 months is a long time to leave it and you may find that if you continue to put it off you will be less inclined to give it a try and you may work it up even more in your mind to be something to be afraid of.


 

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