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  1. #11
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    Thanks all, I have contacted the council (who run family daycare) and am waiting to hear back from them. I have not spoken to the actual carer, she looked after DD for nearly 3 years and we have become friends I just don't know what to say to her, she is a good person and I can only assume that she was advised by council not to tell the parents I'm really hoping she did not inform us because she was worried we would withdraw our children from care meaning she would have no income. I have tracked down the appropriate police department in our area and will be contacting them today

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    DesperatelySeekingSleep  (28-02-2013)

  3. #12
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    I haven't read all the replies, but I am totally shocked and appalled that you were not told! Plus I am asking myself how the carer got to a point where she left the kids alone for so long that it actually happened!?

    It's scares me as my DS has just started family daycare.

    I hope you get some answers OP and that your DD and the little boy are both ok.

    I would definitely be reporting it.

  4. #13
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    By law she has a procedure to follow if she suspects abuse, she is a mandatory reporter. If she knew, and you were not notified, that would mean that the carer and the council have not met their legal duties.

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  6. #14
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    I worked at a centre that had a similar situation in a room I wasn't in. I was the senior staff member on the late shift so I had to inform the parents on pick up. This was'nt a pleasant task for me as I knew they would be devastated and angry but it is not something you brush under the carpet!!! The centre is obligated to let the parents know about situations like this. As well as the authorities previously mentioned, please make sure you also report to the Accreditation Council for your state too. They will do their own investigation on the centre too.

    Counselling for your daughter would be a good idea too.

    All the best.

    Edit to add - http://acecqa.gov.au/families/
    Last edited by Lauzy83; 28-02-2013 at 12:21.

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    angelini  (28-02-2013)

  8. #15
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    Your poor little girl. =(

    Might I suggest that once the appropriate people have been called and contacted and you're free to talk to your DD about it, you sit down and talk to her as well.
    I dunno how to put the next bit delicately, so I apologise. It might sound like I'm blaming you and trying to make you feel guilty, I'm not, I've just been in the position where people I trust have ignored it as well, so I can understand how your DD may end up feeling.

    You need to apologise for ignoring it when she first spoke to you about it, and reinforce that that wasn't okay to do and you should have listened.

    Hugs to you both, I hope everything works out okay.

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  10. #16
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    My job requires me to be a mandatory reporter and as such we receive training on what we should suspect as abuse and what 'reporting' involves.

    Firstly, this sort of behaviour CAN be normal for many children when it involves other children on a similar age. If your child was significantly younger than the boy, then it starts to get into an abuse situation. Yes, some kids demonstrate over-sexualised behaviour because they are being/witnessing abuse, but some kids are just very curious and or/have not been taught these boundaries. Based on one isolated incident, which is within the boundaries of normal child behaviour, they carer would not be obliged to mandatory report.

    Secondly, mandatory reporting does not mean telling the parents - it means telling the appropriate superior (in this case the council). In fact there are instances where telling the parents is the last thing you should do.

    That said, I do think that the carer should have discussed the incident individually with each of the families involved. PP mentioned how a similar incident was handled at a kindy and this sounds like the right way, where both sets of parents have to opportunity to talk to their children about what happened and what is appropriate behaviour etc.

    Also through discussing with the parents the carer may then get other indicators that there may be an abuse situation in the boy's life and have enough evidence to mandatory report.

    The thing that screams out wrong to me in this situation that another parent, one whose child was in no way involved in the incident, knows it happened. This is highly innapropriate and the carer should have only discussed it with yourself and the boy's parents.

    My biggest concern is that she did not discuss the incident with you immediately. It must be hard as you have become friends with her, but I would expect that they have policies in place that would require parents to be informed of such an incident. I hope the council are helpful in ensuring this is followed up properly.

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  12. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by lovelymum View Post
    Thanks all, I have contacted the council (who run family daycare) and am waiting to hear back from them. I have not spoken to the actual carer, she looked after DD for nearly 3 years and we have become friends I just don't know what to say to her, she is a good person and I can only assume that she was advised by council not to tell the parents I'm really hoping she did not inform us because she was worried we would withdraw our children from care meaning she would have no income. I have tracked down the appropriate police department in our area and will be contacting them today
    Actually OP, this to me makes it worse. If she's a friend and still didn't say anything, she isn't respecting your DD or you.

    As for worried about losing income - bad luck. If she knew about this and hasn't followed proper procedure, then she SHOULD lose her income. She has a moral/ethical/legal obligation. Children's safety should always come before income. No negotiation.

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    Kiplusthree  (28-02-2013)

  14. #18
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    I spoke with the coordinator at the council today, she has taken my complaint pretty seriously. She has made a formal report to DOCS (mandatory reporting) who have also touched base with me. DD will be seeing a child psychologist who is going to be the best person to assertain exactly what happened. The family of the child involved will also be interviewed by DOCS

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    DesperatelySeekingSleep  (28-02-2013)

  16. #19
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    Your poor bubba. I can't believe adults knew about this and kept it from you.

    Best of luck...

  17. #20
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    Definately report it to the police. How horrible for your daughter but also where did the boy involved learn this??? This child may also need help.


 

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