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  1. #1
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    Default Touched by another child t daycare

    I think my DD has been touched by a little boy at daycare. She used to go to family daycare last year and a while ago she very loosely mentioned one of the boys touching her privates but I did not take a heap of notice as I thought she was just being silly. Last night her brother accidentally touched her down there as he put his hand underwater to grab a toy in the bath and she got upset at him (it was an innocent accident) and talked about getting touched by the little boy at daycare. He apparently took her undies off and poked around her Vagina and her bottom. I am pretty devastated and angry as to how and why this has happened my DH is fuming. I am going to ring the council today and demand some answers, I spoke to another mum whose child was also with the same carer and she told me she was informed about it last year even though her child was not involved in the incident. Had I have been informed I would have removed her from care, the child in question is the same age as DD (5) and it has left me wondering what in the hell is going on in his home. DH thinks we should contact the police as there are trained specialists who will be able to speak with DD to find out exactly what happened. I don't know what to do, DD is ok but I don't want her to grow up thinking it is ok for that to happen, I'm also really concerned about the child who did this, maybe it was all done in innocence but maybe he is being abused at home - to me it's not normal 5 year old behaviour

  2. #2
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    MODS could this possibly have a trigger warning on this?

    So sorry you're going through this OP.
    Have you spoken to the carer about the incident?
    Some children are quite curious and it may have just been innocent but as you say it could also indicate abuse.

    Can you perhaps contact some sort of helpline to see where to go from here?
    I can only imagine how you would be feeling and I hope it can be dealt with and your daughter gets some help.
    *hugs*

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    lovelymum  (28-02-2013)

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    Contact police and ask to spak to officers trained in children/ these events. Get their opinion. Like you said it isn't just your daughter at risk, but every other little girl plus the little boy himself. They will give resources if needed. Leave it to them to determine what happened (ie I wouldn't question/ ask her anything else until I've spoken to them so not to taint her memory of it). Ring them today
    Just adding that speaking to the authorities/polcie brings in an unbiased point of view. I worry the carer will either sweep it under the carpet so to speak as they don't want to be blamed, 2ndly isn't trained in determining what occurred, 3rd can't act on anything anyway.
    Last edited by escapee; 28-02-2013 at 07:41.

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    That's awful OP. How can they not have told you?

    For her to have mentioned it a few times and then also got upset with her brother for accidentally going near the area, I would actually disagree with your DD being 'ok' though TBH. I'd say its playing on her mind, which is just awful.

    I agree with PP, this definitely needs to be reported in some way (although I have no experience how sorry). Whilst the boy may have been innocently showing curiosity at his age, there may also be a deeper reason which could be concerning for him too.

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    Im so sorry your daughter has been through something so awful. I think this needs to be reported to the police asap. The little boy may just have been curious but his home life needs to be investigated to make sure he isn't being harmed himself.

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    lovelymum  (28-02-2013)

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    You need to give the police a ring. I do not believe this is innocent curiosity behaviour on the boys part.

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    lovelymum  (28-02-2013)

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    Please contact the police. I know of someone that was touched by another child and they were around the same age as your dd. People think that because it involves two children that it is innocent, but the girl is, as an adult, traumatised by it because of how much it was played down. The boy has also since gone on to abuse other people throughout his life... Possibly because he never got help.

    The carer also has to be investigated to make sure they are putting steps into place to stop this from happening.

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    Hi Lovelymum, first of all hugs to you. What an awful thing that day care may have been aware of this child's behaviour but have done nothing.

    Like the others are saying please immediately contact the Police & ask to speak to the Child Protection Unit (pls don't get advice from uniform sitting on the front desk) This is something they would be interested in. Trust me, unfortunately they receive complaints like this every day. And need to speak to this other child to make sure he understands why his behaviour is wrong & to make sure that he hasn't been offended against somewhere else.

    As for the day care, I can't believe they have possibly known about it & not informed parents.

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    lovelymum  (28-02-2013)

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    Quote Originally Posted by DesperatelySeekingSleep View Post
    You need to give the police a ring. I do not believe this is innocent curiosity behaviour on the boys part.
    This. Ring the police. I don't believe it's just curiosity on the boys part either. And nor does your dd appear ok to me when she is clearly upset about her brothers accidental touch. I would be fuming if it was me particularly when another parent was aware of it and you weren't when it involved your child. It isn't normal behaviour for a 5yr old and there needs to be an investigation into the family daycare!

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    lovelymum  (28-02-2013)

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    Your poor little girl. You both must feel terrible.
    I agree police need to be contacted. My friend's little girl was involved in a "you show me yours I'll show you mine" incident at her preschool, the teachers dealt with it professionally and quickly, advising the parents of all children involved and suggesting methods the parents could use to approach the issue with the kids. Nothing was kept hidden from the parents, which makes this sound so suspicious to me.
    I would also consider counseling for both you and your little girl. It is a pretty scary and traumatic thing for a family to cope with alone.
    Big hugs.

    Sent from my GT-N8010 using BubHub

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    lovelymum  (28-02-2013)


 

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