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  1. #51
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    Quote Originally Posted by SpecialPatrolGroup View Post
    I always give thoughtful gifts when I attend a wedding, or any other celebration, but sometimes I have to get these gifts from the clearance table. I'm sorry if that idea offends your sensibilities but for my situation, that is still a considerable expense.
    I suggest you read my posts properly before you make these remarks.

    And if anyone can afford a plane ticket, accomodation and an outfit to attend a wedding, spare the "I'm too poor for a gift" excuse. I can't even afford to leave the city, yet you can, so obviously you have some money to spare. Attendance is not a gift, people give gifts at weddings. It's really that simple.

  2. #52
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    SpecialPatrolGroup is offline T-rex is cranky until she gets her coffee.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Buttermilk View Post
    I suggest you read my posts properly before you make these remarks.

    And if anyone can afford a plane ticket, accomodation and an outfit to attend a wedding, spare the "I'm too poor for a gift" excuse. I can't even afford to leave the city, yet you can, so obviously you have some money to spare. Attendance is not a gift, people give gifts at weddings. It's really that simple.
    Perhaps it is not your reality, but it is my reality that in paying for the flights, accommodation etc, would leave me with nothing. Good for you for not being in that position.

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  4. #53
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    Quote Originally Posted by SpecialPatrolGroup View Post
    Perhaps it is not your reality, but it is my reality that in paying for the flights, accommodation etc, would leave me with nothing. Good for you for not being in that position.
    In my reality, if going meant I wouldn't even have a $100 left in my account, I wouldn't go because it means I can't afford a holiday.
    Travelling to a wedding is a luxury, I've missed out on plenty of friends and families weddings including my own sisters because I couldn't afford the travel. But I still sent a gift

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    In some cultures it seems like it is very important to the couple/family to 'recoup' as much of the cost of the wedding as possible. It also seems the guests of the same culture have the same view and consider it rude not to give a large sum of money.

    These views differ very much to my own. I have no 'cultural background' other than Australian. In my view, the importance of receiving gifts at a wedding is not high. I would never consider it rude if a guest gave me a small amount of money. I would appreciate that they gave me some cash! I would be more appreciative that they attended my special day and celebrated with me.

    Whatever the cultural background, I don't think anyone should be judged for not giving 'enough' money. Sometimes people appear to be wealthy, but you have no idea what their actual financial status may be. Some people are in debt up to their eyeballs. I wouldn't want one of my guests to miss a mortgage payment simply so they could 'cover' the cost of their meal!

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    Wow.....

    I always give around $100 at weddings as that is what I feel comfortable giving. However if I was to recieve $20 in a card I would be more than happy.

    Let me ask you this.....you invite a single parent to your wedding. She has 4 kids and no money. She had to scrape toegther every cent she could to get to your wedding, leaving herself short for her monthly bills. She thoughtfully gives you $20, leaving herself in even more financial struggle. What would you think? Not good enough or would you wonder why she even came?

    I just don't understand what makes people think they can have an opinion on what other people CHOOSE to graciously give as a gift. Your lucky to be getting anything. Where has a good old fashioned thankyou gone without having to have an opinion on it.

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    Some of these comments make me wonder why we actually get invited to weddings... Is it to witness a beautiful part of two lives or is it to shower them with (for some people) absurd amounts of money?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Buttermilk View Post
    In my reality, if going meant I wouldn't even have a $100 left in my account, I wouldn't go because it means I can't afford a holiday.
    Travelling to a wedding is a luxury, I've missed out on plenty of friends and families weddings including my own sisters because I couldn't afford the travel. But I still sent a gift
    Personally I would much rather see the people I invited come with no present then not see them and get a present.
    That's just me... I honestly couldn't care less whether someone brought a present or not I would be grateful that they attended.

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    There are also heaps of people who do attend weddings for a free meal and free drinks and don't really have much of a relationship with the bride and groom lol. But then they were invited.
    As for the whole single mum scrapes her money together to travel to a wedding......I don't know how many people would leave themselves with nothing just to attend a wedding. She would probably borrow money or get a government loan or something. Or not go.....

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    In our tradition people always cover the cost of their meal plus a gift. So this varied, one family of 5 gave us $1000. They assumed $100 each for meal and $100 each for gift I suppose. I would give $100 in your situation.

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    We had a family of 3 show up and give $50. They were not familiar with our customs should I say.. I know this family don't struggle with money, we found this very rude considering their meal cost almost $200 and they didn't even come to the church for the ceremony.


 
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