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  1. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by 1CrazyMoose View Post

    We had similar but everyone coming from far put $50 plus in. But some who lived close and had no money issue only gave $20 which I thought was odd but so be it.
    Why is that odd? They turned up to celebrate your special day with you. Why do we expect money and gifts from people all the time?! I had quite a few people at my wedding who didn't give anything. It didn't bother me in the slightest because the fact they had turned up and made the effort to be there to share the day with me was worth far more than any money they could've given me.

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  3. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by CookingMonster View Post
    What do you mean by a quick pick? Excuse me if I'm stupid
    Sorry! Yeah it's a lotto ticket

    I did this once and the couple won a fair bit on the draw!! I know of a chick who did the same thing n same thing happened LOL!
    Last edited by Chillies; 28-02-2013 at 15:45.

  4. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by LaDiDah View Post
    Why is that odd? They turned up to celebrate your special day with you. Why do we expect money and gifts from people all the time?! I had quite a few people at my wedding who didn't give anything. It didn't bother me in the slightest because the fact they had turned up and made the effort to be there to share the day with me was worth far more than any money they could've given me.
    I'm not offended that they chose to only give $20, not at all but I do think it odd. Of course I would rather their company etc etc. but in saying that surely you would think to pay some of your expense on the night, I mean if it was someone's birthday and you all went out to celebrate for dinner you wouldn't dream of not paying your way. I guess it kind of the same. And I am not suggesting pay per head price because that can be hugely expensive but $20 is very low considering they get fed, drinks. Entertainment etc. not sure if I'm explaining myself well (easy said out loud then by text) but point is if you can't afford to give the bride and groom anything then that's fine (which I believe I mentioned) but it was odd seeing those with Porsche cars etc only give $20 and then get absolutely plastered at the wedding.

    I like to give enough money to pay my way for the evening (which I believe is etiquette) and then some to send the bride and groom off. Lets face it we do things like that all the time for birthdays which happen yearly, a wedding happens only once (hopefully)

    Just my thoughts that's all.

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  6. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by 1CrazyMoose View Post
    I'm not offended that they chose to only give $20, not at all but I do think it odd. Of course I would rather their company etc etc. but in saying that surely you would think to pay some of your expense on the night, I mean if it was someone's birthday and you all went out to celebrate for dinner you wouldn't dream of not paying your way. I guess it kind of the same. And I am not suggesting pay per head price because that can be hugely expensive but $20 is very low considering they get fed, drinks. Entertainment etc. not sure if I'm explaining myself well (easy said out loud then by text) but point is if you can't afford to give the bride and groom anything then that's fine (which I believe I mentioned) but it was odd seeing those with Porsche cars etc only give $20 and then get absolutely plastered at the wedding.

    I like to give enough money to pay my way for the evening (which I believe is etiquette) and then some to send the bride and groom off. Lets face it we do things like that all the time for birthdays which happen yearly, a wedding happens only once (hopefully)

    Just my thoughts that's all.
    this is why they drive porches... lol. don't spend much money.

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    A gift is for the giver to determine what or how much to give, not for the recipient to give direction on (unless asked for input). Only my opinion of course!

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    I also believe in etiquette and there are certain things like weddings that have common etiquette. You don't have to give money if you can't afford it, but a gift is just something you do. Giving someone a $20 gift for their wedding is just rude, Id feel that person didn't care about us and only came for a free night. It doesn't take much to go out and buy a thoughtful gift or give a decent amount of money to start them off in their married life. Its normal etiquette that seems lost on some people. You only get married once, it's an important occasion and is why people spend money on weddings, receptions etc. It's a big deal so I take it seriously when I'm invited to give them something to mark the occasion.

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    I don't understand why people have weddings then expect the GUEST to cover their meal. It's a wedding if you can't afford to host them all then don't invite so many people!!

    I'd give $50 you are paying more then enough in travel cost.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Buttermilk View Post
    I also believe in etiquette and there are certain things like weddings that have common etiquette. You don't have to give money if you can't afford it, but a gift is just something you do. Giving someone a $20 gift for their wedding is just rude, Id feel that person didn't care about us and only came for a free night. It doesn't take much to go out and buy a thoughtful gift or give a decent amount of money to start them off in their married life. Its normal etiquette that seems lost on some people. You only get married once, it's an important occasion and is why people spend money on weddings, receptions etc. It's a big deal so I take it seriously when I'm invited to give them something to mark the occasion.
    Call me old fashioned, but I didn't have a wedding or have a reception afterwards for the gifts or money. We had a wedding and reception with guests because they were people we wanted to celebrate with and who we knew would want to celebrate with us.

    We certainly didn't invite people and expect to recoup the cost of their 'freebie evening' with a gift of equal or greater value.

    We also didn't pay any attention to how much each gift might have cost a guest.

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  16. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by Buttermilk View Post
    . It doesn't take much to go out and buy a thoughtful gift or give a decent amount of money to start them off in their married life. Its normal etiquette that seems lost on some people. You only get married once, it's an important occasion and is why people spend money on weddings, receptions etc. It's a big deal so I take it seriously when I'm invited to give them something to mark the occasion.
    That's all well and good for those that can afford to, but some people literally can not afford to give a 'decent' amount of money. Especially when already spending hundred of dollars on travel etc. Not to mention hens/bucks nights, kitchen teas, etc etc.

    I don't think the dollar value of your present determines how much you love and appreciate the person anyway. Some of the most generous-hearted people I know, are only able to give 'small' presents. It shouldn't matter if you ask me.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Buttermilk View Post
    I also believe in etiquette and there are certain things like weddings that have common etiquette. You don't have to give money if you can't afford it, but a gift is just something you do. Giving someone a $20 gift for their wedding is just rude, Id feel that person didn't care about us and only came for a free night. It doesn't take much to go out and buy a thoughtful gift or give a decent amount of money to start them off in their married life. Its normal etiquette that seems lost on some people. You only get married once, it's an important occasion and is why people spend money on weddings, receptions etc. It's a big deal so I take it seriously when I'm invited to give them something to mark the occasion.
    I'm fairly certain that etiquette is not about dollar value and more about being gracious.

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