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  1. #261
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    Quote Originally Posted by peanutmonkey View Post
    Do you not realise how judgemental you sound when saying $20 in a wishing well is not enough?

    And to you they are different. To me, not so much, they are both celebrations TO ME and this is how I feel about them


    I think this is going around in circles and points are getting missed. I have no probelm whatsoever with wishing wells or gift registries. I just don't like that some people expect a certain amount spent or given etc. You never know the full extent of people's financial situation and I would hate for anyone to feel bad that they didnt spend enough... cos for me, any amount at all, even $0, is enough
    I have voiced my opinion loud and clear from the beginning giving $20 is not enough for a wedding. I at least want people to see how judgemental they are for the things they have been saying.

    For you sure they are a celebration, but they're still different and a wedding is much more than a celebration. You gave the example that your friends are going to your birthday and you're not expecting a gift, well it's a poor example, because at weddings it is expected you will get a gift. Unless you specify otherwise, you know you will get something! To even say you aren't expecting it is moot, people give gifts at weddings and we all know that! To call people names for having wishing wells or registries or anything is just mean, it serves no purpose.

  2. #262
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    Quote Originally Posted by Buttermilk View Post
    I have voiced my opinion loud and clear from the beginning giving $20 is not enough for a wedding.
    Yes, and everyone else has voiced their opinion, equally loudly and clearly, that this is greedy. Enough yet?

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  4. #263
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    I have no issue with optional wishing wells or gift registries. What I dislike is demands for gifts i.e. wishing well ONLY or gift registry ONLY. In my opinion a wedding invite shouldn't be conditional. I also don't like the expectation that those with nice houses or cars should be giving better or more expensive gifts. That leaves a bad taste in my mouth, and the chances are they didn't expect their friends to fund their wedding with repayments through gifts if they held an exxy one.

    I agree it is cultural. But we have to respect it isn't cultural for all guests and I would never expect some to give me more just because it is *my* culture that we give nice gifts at weddings. That's off.

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  6. #264
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    Quote Originally Posted by lambjam View Post
    Yes, and everyone else has voiced their opinion, equally loudly and clearly, that this is greedy. Enough yet?
    It's not greedy though Seriously.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Buttermilk View Post
    I have voiced my opinion loud and clear from the beginning giving $20 is not enough for a wedding. I at least want people to see how judgemental they are for the things they have been saying.

    For you sure they are a celebration, but they're still different and a wedding is much more than a celebration. You gave the example that your friends are going to your birthday and you're not expecting a gift, well it's a poor example, because at weddings it is expected you will get a gift. Unless you specify otherwise, you know you will get something! To even say you aren't expecting it is moot, people give gifts at weddings and we all know that! To call people names for having wishing wells or registries or anything is just mean, it serves no purpose.
    Did I call anyone a name? Please tell me where I did.

    *sigh* I don't have the energy to try and make my point in another way.

  8. #266
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    Quote Originally Posted by Buttermilk View Post
    It's not greedy though Seriously.
    Last word much? Go on, go argue about trolleys!

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  10. #267
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    Quote Originally Posted by Buttermilk View Post
    I have voiced my opinion loud and clear from the beginning giving $20 is not enough for a wedding. I at least want people to see how judgemental they are for the things they have been saying.

    For you sure they are a celebration, but they're still different and a wedding is much more than a celebration. You gave the example that your friends are going to your birthday and you're not expecting a gift, well it's a poor example, because at weddings it is expected you will get a gift. Unless you specify otherwise, you know you will get something! To even say you aren't expecting it is moot, people give gifts at weddings and we all know that! To call people names for having wishing wells or registries or anything is just mean, it serves no purpose.
    You don't know you will get something. I had a dozen people that came to our wedding not give us anything and I didn't mind. We had a wishing well and the amounts varied from $20 to a few thousand, I was grateful for any amount, but even more so that these people came

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    $20 was about my limit for anything when I was a single mum on PPS. I didn't even get myself anything worth more than that. So yes for weddings, birthdays, christmases $20 it was. I never thought this would have been seen as cheap or me not caring. That couldn't be further from the truth and if anybody was upset about it then they are no friend of mine because it already meant that I went without something to give a thoughtful, but affordable, gift.

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  14. #269
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    Quote Originally Posted by peanutmonkey View Post
    Did I call anyone a name? Please tell me where I did.

    *sigh* I don't have the energy to try and make my point in another way.
    Lots of people have used names. Selfish, Greedy to name a couple.

    Quote Originally Posted by redlipsandpearls View Post
    You don't know you will get something. I had a dozen people that came to our wedding not give us anything and I didn't mind. We had a wishing well and the amounts varied from $20 to a few thousand, I was grateful for any amount, but even more so that these people came
    Maybe at your wedding, but at our weddings you wouldn't go and give nothing.

    Quote Originally Posted by lambjam View Post
    Last word much? Go on, go argue about trolleys!
    What is your problem?

  15. #270
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    Quote Originally Posted by Buttermilk View Post
    It's not greedy though Seriously.
    It might pay to consider that terms like "greedy" are subjective. If you fit someone else's definition of greedy, then in that context you *are* greedy.

    Better perhaps to discuss this with like-minded people if you don't like such implications

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