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  1. #221
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    I don't think it was bitter or a personal attack. I was incredibly grateful to those who did give us a gift on our wedding day, however I don't think the people who didn't were rude and I certainly didn't get cross with the, for not 'covering the expense of their invite'. a wedding is a celebration not a money making scheme.

  2. #222
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    Quote Originally Posted by redlipsandpearls View Post
    I don't like the idea of baby showers so I won't have one, but will still attend others. Their original tradition is for gifts and I don't agree with that.

    Inviting people to your wedding is done because you want them to witness you getting married, not because you want gifts or x amount of money. I think people have their views skewed and are seeing gifts/money as an expectation at a wedding, sadly.
    See I completely agree with the wedding thing. I don't think you should expect anything. I will be having a baby shower and once again I will expect nothing. I will be appreciative of anything we do get but I will not be disappointed with those who just come to celebrate with me because that's the whole point. I just don't understand why one has such a high gift expectation (right down to the value) and in the next breath those people are condemning baby showers.

  3. #223
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    See I don't think baby showers are gift grabbing events either. But they're events where you go and give a gift to help with the new baby, people that have them also go to them, its giving and receiving and paying it forward.
    Its what we do for each other, family/friends. Why do we have to do everything on our own?

    The notion that people have weddings as a money making scheme is ridiculous. No one gets their money back at a wedding, nor do you expect to and if you're getting married just for gifts and money you are better off saving the cost of your wedding instead and going to the registry.

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    I reckon the couple getting married in the OP will have been divorced by the time this thread is finished.

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  6. #225
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    Quote Originally Posted by Buttermilk View Post
    So that was a personal dig at someone? Because as a general statement it makes no sense to me. In fact it sounded bitter because she had to work for everything and is bitter someone else got money and gifts at their wedding.
    It was a great help and start and it's what families do for each other here. It's not about anyone else, it's their day and its one day in their lives. You can bag it all you like, but it won't change how we view our weddings and their symbol as the beginning of life outside our family home.

    Just because you had to work for everything or didn't get any help that's your business, but rolling your eyes because other people do is just being bitter.
    I don't think she's being bitter because someone got help with their wedding, just that the same person has bagged other people for getting help in other ways, I'm assuming government handouts. A 'why is it okay for you to get help in x way, but not for others (according to *you*, as in whoever Shelle is referring to) to get it in y or z way' question. Does that make sense now?

  7. #226
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    Quote Originally Posted by LaDiDah View Post
    See I completely agree with the wedding thing. I don't think you should expect anything. I will be having a baby shower and once again I will expect nothing. I will be appreciative of anything we do get but I will not be disappointed with those who just come to celebrate with me because that's the whole point. I just don't understand why one has such a high gift expectation (right down to the value) and in the next breath those people are condemning baby showers.
    I wasn't saying that everyone has baby showers to get gifts, but that is the origin of them.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Buttermilk View Post
    See I don't think baby showers are gift grabbing events either. But they're events where you go and give a gift to help with the new baby, people that have them also go to them, its giving and receiving and paying it forward.
    Its what we do for each other, family/friends. Why do we have to do everything on our own?

    The notion that people have weddings as a money making scheme is ridiculous. No one gets their money back at a wedding, nor do you expect to and if you're getting married just for gifts and money you are better off saving the cost of your wedding instead and going to the registry.
    See I agree with this also.

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    Quote Originally Posted by redlipsandpearls View Post
    I don't think she's being bitter because someone got help with their wedding, just that the same person has bagged other people for getting help in other ways, I'm assuming government handouts. A 'why is it okay for you to get help in x way, but not for others (according to *you*, as in whoever Shelle is referring to) to get it in y or z way' question. Does that make sense now?
    I don't think government handouts is in any way the same as an individual giving a gift at a wedding? Sorry, no I'm still not getting it.

    Quote Originally Posted by redlipsandpearls View Post
    I wasn't saying that everyone has baby showers to get gifts, but that is the origin of them.
    Yes it is really, so are kitchen teas and you do expect to give and receive at weddings. There is nothing wrong with that though, there are expectations when you go to these things that you will give, and when you host one you do know you will get gifts because that's what you do. The only way is to specifically say on the invite NO GIFTS.
    I didn't have a baby shower myself, I went to a spa and luch with a couple of friends, but I really don't mind when people do and its a good way to get stuff you never thought of. I still got presents when I gave birth which I didn't expect. And I think because I didn't have a baby shower I got them regardless after I had him. I wasn't going to give them back!

  10. #229
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    Quote Originally Posted by Buttermilk View Post
    I don't think government handouts is in any way the same as an individual giving a gift at a wedding? Sorry, no I'm still not getting it.

    Yes it is really, so are kitchen teas and you do expect to give and receive at weddings. There is nothing wrong with that though, there are expectations when you go to these things that you will give, and when you host one you do know you will get gifts because that's what you do. The only way is to specifically say on the invite NO GIFTS.
    I didn't have a baby shower myself, I went to a spa and luch with a couple of friends, but I really don't mind when people do and its a good way to get stuff you never thought of. I still got presents when I gave birth which I didn't expect. And I think because I didn't have a baby shower I got them regardless after I had him. I wasn't going to give them back!
    But that isn't the origin of having guests at your wedding. You may get gifts but that's not why they were invited.

  11. #230
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    Quote Originally Posted by redlipsandpearls View Post
    But that isn't the origin of having guests at your wedding. You may get gifts but that's not why they were invited.
    But no one said you invite people just for the gifts? You do know you will get them though unless you say otherwise. Like I said, if you have a wedding just for presents, you are better off saving the costs of the wedding and buying your own presents.


 

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