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  1. #191
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    Quote Originally Posted by Buttermilk View Post
    It's optional for everybody, never expected and mainly only family do it.
    Yep! This.

  2. #192
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    Quote Originally Posted by LotusMum View Post
    What is a kitchen tea and is it instead of a hens? Im imagining its another present getting thing is that right? So do some people have kitchen teas, bridal showers, hens and a wedding and gets preasiea for all of these or is it a kitchen tea or bridal shower? Im thinking this getting marries thing could be great for present getting lol.
    I don't know if a bridal is the same? It's like a baby shower I guess. You invite all the females, you have snacks and games with presents. Then you sit around and open gifts. It's suppose to be small stuff for the kitchen, there is no minimum or max, just whatever, spoons, cups, tea towels, baking stuff. I got appliances, pots/pans, plates, fancy platters etc.

  3. #193
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    Quote Originally Posted by Buttermilk View Post
    It's optional for everybody, never expected and mainly only family do it.
    Yes that's my experience as weddings of different cultures.

  4. #194
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    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    You are though. You said I'm basically judging expensive weddings. I'm not. I'm judging people that are materialistic and *expect* people to fork out all this money. Just in this thread some have said you should give them what it costs for your share of the reception.



    My guess is people invite others that know them. Therefore a defacto couple is not going to get a toaster or a kettle for a present. I'm not keen on wishing wells. I believe in being grateful for what people give.



    That wasn't just a ball park suggestion by the mum. It was the figure the bride gave.



    So what do you do for a wishing well and can only afford $20?



    See I don't get this. Why is $20 weird? People don't magically know which each bride's 'minimum rate' is. The fact a minimum rate exists is part of my point. Now if you, as a guest, only feel comfortable giving over $150 then cool. But if people are expecting that as a minimum? well I do think that's not right.
    I don't think anyone expects $150 as a minimum.
    If you can only afford $20 I've said plenty of times to buy something with it. Wishing wells are a suggestion like gift registries, but etiquette allows people to also give outside that and people do because some people aren't comfortable giving money. You have to expect that when you do a wishing well.

  5. #195
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    Your presence is present enough, lols, I would say no more than $50 given all you have spent to get there.

    Sent from my GT-I9100T using BubHub

  6. #196
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    Those who had a kitchen tea...did you already have things for your kitchen? Were you living with your husband before marriage?

    I have a friend who had a kitchen tea. She already lived with her partner in a house they bought. I think that was a bit gift grabbing.

  7. #197
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    I had a kitchen tea because one sister wanted to do my hens and the other a kitchen tea. I never asked for either and never expected presents...

    I did have a Tupperware kitchen tea. People could shop for themselves and I got host gifts. Anonymous donations were made too but my sister made it very clear that money or purchasing anything was not expected.

  8. #198
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    Quote Originally Posted by BigRedV View Post
    Those who had a kitchen tea...did you already have things for your kitchen? Were you living with your husband before marriage?

    I have a friend who had a kitchen tea. She already lived with her partner in a house they bought. I think that was a bit gift grabbing.
    No I didn't live with DH before we got married (we now have been married for 6 years.)

    Family (and a few very close friends) were only invited to this as its our tradition only. I'm only invited to family kitchen teas or if im really close friends with the bride to be.

    Some family members purchased small items on my wedding gift registery. In saying that I only had smaller things on my registery, again I didnt expect people to pay a small fortune if they can't or don't wish to.

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    My sisters kitchen tea I organised I had everyone email me or hand write a recipe and I made a book

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    Kitchen tea was also just family and more senior family friends.

    I agree when did all this become about dollar values and asking for gifts. It's a sad world we live in.


 

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