If you can only afford $20 I've said plenty of times to buy something with it. Wishing wells are a suggestion like gift registries, but etiquette allows people to also give outside that and people do because some people aren't comfortable giving money. You have to expect that when you do a wishing well.
Your presence is present enough, lols, I would say no more than $50 given all you have spent to get there.
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Those who had a kitchen tea...did you already have things for your kitchen? Were you living with your husband before marriage?
I have a friend who had a kitchen tea. She already lived with her partner in a house they bought. I think that was a bit gift grabbing.
I had a kitchen tea because one sister wanted to do my hens and the other a kitchen tea. I never asked for either and never expected presents...
I did have a Tupperware kitchen tea. People could shop for themselves and I got host gifts. Anonymous donations were made too but my sister made it very clear that money or purchasing anything was not expected.
Family (and a few very close friends) were only invited to this as its our tradition only. I'm only invited to family kitchen teas or if im really close friends with the bride to be.
Some family members purchased small items on my wedding gift registery. In saying that I only had smaller things on my registery, again I didnt expect people to pay a small fortune if they can't or don't wish to.
My sisters kitchen tea I organised I had everyone email me or hand write a recipe and I made a book
Kitchen tea was also just family and more senior family friends.
I agree when did all this become about dollar values and asking for gifts. It's a sad world we live in.
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