Closed Thread
Page 16 of 33 FirstFirst ... 6141516171826 ... LastLast
Results 151 to 160 of 324
  1. #151
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    22,846
    Thanks
    6,200
    Thanked
    16,892
    Reviews
    10
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 postsDiamond Star - 20,000 posts
    Awards:
    Bubhub Blogger - Thanks100 Posts in a week
    I think it's important to note just bc some of us hate the crap that goes on with modern weddings doesn't mean we hate the notion of getting married or don't want to go. The people here that know me, know I'm a hopeless romantic. I cry at weddings bc I'm sooo sentimental... and I think that's where my ire comes from. Weddings are meant to be about the day you join together for (hopefully) the rest of your lives. Not about silly table arrangements, keeping tabs on gifts and wanting bridesmaids to wear Jimmy Choo shoes.

    I adore the concept of weddings, I just hate how ridiculous they have become...

  2. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to delirium For This Useful Post:

    Gracie's Mum  (03-03-2013),lambjam  (01-03-2013)

  3. #152
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Posts
    19,776
    Thanks
    5,212
    Thanked
    7,063
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 posts
    Yeah I must admit I regret agreeing to it. I guess I mostly do it out of obligation as I really dislike being a bridesmaid but do it for the sake of my friend. I think the friend I lost could tell my heart wasn't in it and never got over it (she still won't talk to me - but I kind of feel I went above and beyond considering I went without for her and did something I didn't want to just for her).

  4. #153
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    22,846
    Thanks
    6,200
    Thanked
    16,892
    Reviews
    10
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 postsDiamond Star - 20,000 posts
    Awards:
    Bubhub Blogger - Thanks100 Posts in a week
    Quote Originally Posted by lambjam View Post
    Oh for heaven's sake.

    A wedding is a celebration, a chance to invite people to celebrate our marriage with us. People have become obsessed with the logistics and lost sight of the meaning.

    I wouldn't throw myself a birthday party I couldn't afford and expect my guests to pay for it! If I invite you to my party it's because I want you to share the occasion with me, not because I want presents.

    Unless, of course, I'm a five year old.
    Totally

  5. #154
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Posts
    19,776
    Thanks
    5,212
    Thanked
    7,063
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by missie_mack View Post
    I always wonder when the custom changed. In the 70s when people married the bride paid for the bridesmaids everything. Now you are lucky if they buy you a gift for all your work. I wonder if it changed when people started paying for their own weddings?
    I was wondering this myself whether the fact that it's no longer custom that the parents pay for absolutely everything that it has become too much for brides and grooms to be able to afford to help out their bridesmaids/groomsmen.

    My friend is in the position where I really think she ought to re-think the whole wedding thing and go to the registry and have a picnic/dinner with her special friends/family afterward because she can barely afford her bills, let alone thousands for one day.

  6. #155
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    home
    Posts
    6,465
    Thanks
    1,161
    Thanked
    2,532
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Benji View Post
    That's how I feel. I lost one of my closest friends from high school because I queried the costs I was spending as bridesmaid as I was a student at the time and barely able to afford to put food on the table, let alone afford an $80 pair of shoes and $100+ for hair and make up. In my experience, brides go absolutely insane around the time of their weddings. I tread very carefully now and this is why I really dislike the culture of the 'show' wedding and expectations from the bridal party and guests.

    I'd be your bridesmaid twice
    I don't understand why anyone feels that entitled that they expect others to pay. Seriously I would feel like a total Scrooge if I'd expected my bridesmaids to pay their own way. My second wedding we had on her beach and decided against doing the whole matching bridal party. Everyone just wore something they were comfortable. Best day ever! No stress.

  7. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Jakois For This Useful Post:

    Benji  (01-03-2013),delirium  (01-03-2013),MissMuppet  (01-03-2013)

  8. #156
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    Melbourne
    Posts
    5,005
    Thanks
    1,052
    Thanked
    3,524
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    In the UK the BM's don't pay for their own dress, shoes, etc and not accommodation for the night if required.

    I found it very strange when I moved here and found out BMs had to pay for their own stuff.

    Having said that, I do like the free bars lol! Don't see that very often in the UK as you cannot generally buy a "per head" drinks package.

  9. The Following User Says Thank You to kw123 For This Useful Post:

    Guest654  (01-03-2013)

  10. #157
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    2,843
    Thanks
    62
    Thanked
    432
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Yes whilst I'm on the traditional side of guests giving gifts I also am traditional in all other areas. Brides paying for their bridesmaids, order of the speech, etc etc

  11. #158
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    465
    Thanks
    97
    Thanked
    172
    Reviews
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    I think it's important to note just bc some of us hate the crap that goes on with modern weddings doesn't mean we hate the notion of getting married or don't want to go. The people here that know me, know I'm a hopeless romantic. I cry at weddings bc I'm sooo sentimental... and I think that's where my ire comes from. Weddings are meant to be about the day you join together for (hopefully) the rest of your lives. Not about silly table arrangements, keeping tabs on gifts and wanting bridesmaids to wear Jimmy Choo shoes.

    I adore the concept of weddings, I just hate how ridiculous they have become...
    And just because the day is important to some poeple and they care about that stuff, doesn't mean they don't care about the marriage.
    I spent alot on my wedding, I cared about the dresses, the food, the transport and the table arrangements. I'll be celebrating my 13 year wedding anniversary this year, I think it's safe to say my marriage was important and it wasn't just about the day.
    For anyone to say otherwise is just insulting. You don't need to judge why or how much someone spends. It's not your business. If you don't like all that stuff then just don't do it, but don't tell others what they should be doing at their wedding.
    I'm not greedy or spoilt, to say to anyone they are because of what they do for their wedding is highly contentious on your part.

  12. #159
    lambjam's Avatar
    lambjam is offline Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Canberra
    Posts
    7,177
    Thanks
    2,062
    Thanked
    4,956
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Buttermilk View Post
    You don't need to judge why or how much someone spends. It's not your business.
    And it's not a guest's business either, nor is it their responsibility to buy into it

    BTW, we're celebrating 13 years this year too; congrats fellow 2000-er

  13. #160
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    454
    Thanks
    29
    Thanked
    111
    Reviews
    0
    To answer the OP, you spend what you can afford. Some people will be totally cool with that, some people will be livid because they would have expected more etc. More than likely the people who will be pi$$ed off are the ones you had to cough up the big bucks to go to their tacky hens nights/awkward and disappointing bucks shows. At the end of the day pen!s straws and pink feather boas aren't cheap.

    DP and I have spoken in great detail about our wedding. We don't want presents (we already have a house full of junk) we don't want money because that's not why we're getting married. We are adamant about that.

    The best gift for you to give us is to enjoy the lovely food and copious amount of drink and be happy. Keep your money and your "gifts" and just have fun.

    Isn't that what weddings should be?

  14. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Pushie Parent For This Useful Post:

    Gandalf  (03-03-2013),SassyMummy  (01-03-2013),shelle65  (01-03-2013)


 

Similar Threads

  1. No gift at wedding
    By cookiedough in forum Weddings
    Replies: 22
    Last Post: 13-11-2013, 00:39
  2. 1st wedding anniversary gift???
    By kayem in forum General Chat
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 21-08-2013, 18:24
  3. Wedding anniversary gift
    By tubster in forum General Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 14-12-2012, 22:02

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Tambo Teddies
Visit our online store and select your individually handmade natural sheepskin teddy bear. Our soft and loveable bears come in a range of styles and colours. Created in Outback Queensland each bear is unique individual. 100% Australian made!
sales & new stuffsee all
Wendys Music School Melbourne
Wondering about Music Lessons? FREE 30 minute ASSESSMENT. Find out if your child is ready! Piano from age 3 years & Guitar, Singing, Drums, Violin from age 5. Lessons available for all ages. 35+ years experience. Structured program.
Use referral 'bubhub' when booking
featured supporter
Mini Maestros
Nurturing Confident Learners. Mini Maestros offers music classes for children 6 months to 5 years of age. It is the longest running and most successful Australian business of its kind.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!