I come from a huge family but only invited immediate family.
I'm lucky enough to have been married twice (yay go me!).If I got a gift or money it was very much appreciated, but I certainly didn't think any less of those who didn't give. My second wedding was interstate and no way would I have expected those who traveled to put themselves out even more by giving money or a gift!
OP, give only what you can afford. If that's only $20 then so be it! You've spent enough on getting there!
I like weddings, I care about the people getting married, I buy people gifts and don't cringe when I do it.
Again in our tradition BRIDES pay for everything for BMs. We don't expect others to pay for our wedding, after all a BM dress and jewellery is the choice of the bride and therefor should fork out the money especially if it is overly priced.
I'd be your bridesmaid twice
Oh for heaven's sake.
A wedding is a celebration, a chance to invite people to celebrate our marriage with us. People have become obsessed with the logistics and lost sight of the meaning.
I wouldn't throw myself a birthday party I couldn't afford and expect my guests to pay for it! If I invite you to my party it's because I want you to share the occasion with me, not because I want presents.
Unless, of course, I'm a five year old.
I bought my bridesmaids everything and paid for everything, dress, shoes, hair, make up, jewelery and I also bought them each a gift (perfume). I had my kitchen tea at my place and did all the food (they helped) and they organised the games. They also organised my hens and everyone put in to pay for me (which was only about $20 each because I don't drink!) I didn't do anything huge we just went out clubbing.
The grooms and brideasmaids also payed for our our first night at the hotel, from memory it was $100 each? I didn't ask they just organised it for us which was awesome. I assumed that was their gift, but they still gave us more as presents.
If no one was happy to be in my wedding, I would have prefered they tell me, but I know they wanted to because 3 of them asked me, I didn't plan on as many.
Wow this thread has gone in a complete different direction since it was started by the op.
To the op, my Dh and i recently travelled for a family members wedding and after spending $600+ to travel to the wedding and costs of buying appropriate clothing for the extravagant wedding we were attending ($50k+), we were only.able.to afford to give the bride and groom $50 in a card. The bride and groom however came and thanked us personally for the amount we gave as they knew we would have spent considerably more to be there to share their special day.
I think at the end of the day the couple will appreciate however much you give them, especially taking into consideration the money and effort you have made to attend.
When we got married in 2010 we didn't ask for anything in the way of gifts and thought it was much nicer to leave it as a decision of our guests if they would like to give us anything for a gift. As we had a traditional part of our wedding from my husbands culture in which the guests either pinned money on my dress or put money in a basket whilst having a nip of a traditional alcoholic beverage with myself. We were grateful for everything we were given whether it was monetary or a small gift. We called and thanked each guest personally and even had a small gathering the next day for the family that had travelled for our wedding to thank them again.
We loved the fact that people cared for us enough to travel to be with us. My father on the other hand sent us a considerable amount of money instead of coming to his only child's wedding. Some sort of "i hate weddings" excuse was used. I honestly would have preferred to have my father walk me down the aisle.
ETA each guest at our wedding also received a small gift for attending. Each wedding i have been to we have also received a small gift to attend.
Last edited by munchkin275; 01-03-2013 at 13:55.
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