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  1. #111
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    Quote Originally Posted by HugsBunny View Post
    No I'm not saying give nothing, but you've stated that its rude not to give a 'decent amount of money' which roughly translates to 'more than $50'.

    You'd know the couple well? I'm attending a wedding in 3 weeks for a couple I've never met before :-) I was also invited to 2 weddings last year for people I had met once and the other couple I'd never met either. Not everything is black and white. That's all I'm trying to say.
    Why would you get invited to a wedding to people you don't know?
    Anyway I said: It's rude to give nothing or a $20 note in a card. If you can't afford to give money, a decent amount, its etiquette to buy a gift instead. If you literally only have $20, go out and buy a gift with it, don't put it in a card like you don't care. What the hell is someone going to do with a $20 note? Buy a gift and wrap it up for goodness sakes.
    When people show up with nothing at all, not even a card, well yes, that is beyond rude! Why would anyone show up at a wedding, eat, drink, be merry, but have not enough respect to even buy a small gift?

    Ironically, everyone in this thread does go to a wedding with something, so you all believe in some type of etiquette.
    Except shelle65 her presence is the gift........

  2. #112
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennaisme View Post
    Ah, apologies, I misunderstood. Guests get a gift regardless, so I'm not understanding this?
    She hates weddings.

  3. #113
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    Lol ok I've misunderstood what you said then. I would never attend a wedding without a gift of some description.

  4. #114
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    Quote Originally Posted by shelle65 View Post
    Not in the slightest.

    Thomas J Kelly sums up my feelings on this issue very well:
    http://www.ihateweddings.com/index.php?itemid=37
    I think this sums it up for me:

    Though let's face it, if I stiffed you at your wedding, I'm probably not inviting you to mine.
    He obviously doesn't care about the couple in the first place and reiterated my feelings when people show up with nothing.

  5. #115
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    $50 too cheap? Far out that's what I give wishing wells. I could afford $100 but I think that's a lot of money! I thought $50 was the norm. It was when I got married in 2009

  6. #116
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennaisme View Post
    Ah, apologies, I misunderstood. Guests get a gift regardless, so I'm not understanding this?
    Well that's my point really - assuming you mean the meal/drinks are the gift to the guest, then IMO that is how the balance should remain. "Covering" your meal/drinks by giving a gift to the couple for the equivalent value makes no sense to me, as the guest has already given up their time to be there, and turns the whole thing into some sort of business transaction.

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    Quote Originally Posted by missie_mack View Post
    That has been standard ettiquette for generations- its not a new trend or idea lol.... just do a google
    Lots of people have said after buying themselves an outfit it is too expensive to have your gift (which needn't be cash) cover the cost of the meal, does this mean that it is more important for them to have a new outfit than give their friend or family member a gift to celebrate their wedding and thank them for inviting them?
    I don't believe it's your guest responsibility to finance your wedding.
    If you are paying $100 per head and kids are $40 for example then a family would have to spend close to $300.
    And I know many people that have paid between 80 and 120 per head.
    Sorry but that's ridiculous.

  8. #118
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    Quote Originally Posted by Buttermilk View Post


    He obviously doesn't care about the couple in the first place and reiterated my feelings when people show up with nothing.
    Yep, he does point out elsewhere on the site that pretty much the only people who care about a wedding are the bride and groom, and the bride's mother. No one else really gives a shiz.

  9. #119
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    Quote Originally Posted by shelle65 View Post
    Well that's my point really - assuming you mean the meal/drinks are the gift to the guest, then IMO that is how the balance should remain. "Covering" your meal/drinks by giving a gift to the couple for the equivalent value makes no sense to me, as the guest has already given up their time to be there, and turns the whole thing into some sort of business transaction.
    Erm, no. oO We're getting each of our guests either napkin ring things(sounds weird, I know) that are engraved with their initials and a hand written thank you letter from DF and I, written on heavy parchment and marking their spot at their tables, or we're gifting them with a small photoframe with their name and a thank you for attending our wedding thing in it. I can't really describe it properly.

  10. #120
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    I think expecting to recoup the cost of your wedding from your guests is a bit tacky really, if you can't afford it yourself you should change your plans to suit your budget. I saw the cost of our food, drinks etc as a way to spoil those we loved the most with a great night, it's part if the pleasure if hosting an event IMO.

    We give gifts based on our budget at the time, relationship to the guest etc so it varies, but I sure hope I don't know anyone who is counting the $$ at the end to tally up their profit! Yuck.

  11. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Mathermy For This Useful Post:

    Amiedoll  (03-03-2013),HugsBunny  (01-03-2013)


 

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