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  1. #21
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    I don't think your over-reacting, sounds like classic passive aggressive behaviour.

    In my experience the only thing that works in this situation is to behave as if you don't notice, and be friendly but always firm with the other person.

    I swear to God that it seems to me that a lot of people who behave like this don't consciously plan their nastiness it is just the way they always treat others and it works for them quite well. People they don't like go away and people they don't mind dance to their tune (and mood swings!). It can make it a little bit more bearable if you think of them less like an equal and more like a grumpy cat you have to live with!

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  3. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by Twoalready View Post
    This is typical woman behavior in the workplace.

    I'm yet to work in a industry or workplace where women weren't a**holes to each other.
    High school never strays far in a women dominated office.

    I can't wait to leave my job just because of the way the women behave and b*tch about one another.

    It really is horrific and I feel for you OP, unless something changes in these early stages its likely to change.
    Uhhh well this is the first time I've ever felt uncertain about how another colleague is treating me in the workplace and I've worked in several workplaces. I think your comments are very untrue really.

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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Hmmm. If she was the go to person before you perhaps you could make a point of asking her advice "hi. I am sorry to bother you when you are busy but I need to know XYZ and with your experience I would really appreciate your help." Flatter her (a little bit dont go overboard) while you're asking for help.

    Regarding the coffee/ cold shoulder just continue to be your normal friendly self. Perhaps get in early tomorrow and ask her/other ladies if they would like to go for a coffee. As a result of your friendliness either the cold lady will defrost or the other ladies will realise what's going on and include you anyway.

    You will be one of the gang in no time
    Haha hmmm can I hold back on the flattery a bit? I'm not good at ar.se-kissing.
    Yes I will continue as I am. The others all include me and she was quite nice to me today... I'm wondering if she maybe has a split personality - some days she's very *businessy* in her heels and skirt and other days she wears jeans and flats (trendy workplace). She's like two different people!

  5. #24
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    Some people are just a little slow to warm to new people. It's no excuse to treat you badly, but she may just not be ready to let new people in straight away.

    Give it a few weeks and if she still gives you attitude just deal with her minimally.

    Sometimes types like this woman respect you more when you don't suck up. Be civil & polite, but don't try and win her over with friendliness/kindness.

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    Quote Originally Posted by MeetTheBluths View Post
    Haha hmmm can I hold back on the flattery a bit? I'm not good at ar.se-kissing.
    Yes I will continue as I am. The others all include me and she was quite nice to me today... I'm wondering if she maybe has a split personality - some days she's very *businessy* in her heels and skirt and other days she wears jeans and flats (trendy workplace). She's like two different people!
    I do the same at work depending on who my meetings are with!

  8. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by Degrassi View Post
    Some people are just a little slow to warm to new people. It's no excuse to treat you badly, but she may just not be ready to let new people in straight away.

    Give it a few weeks and if she still gives you attitude just deal with her minimally.

    Sometimes types like this woman respect you more when you don't suck up. Be civil & polite, but don't try and win her over with friendliness/kindness.
    yes I agree. I think time will tell. I'm going to try to not let her moodiness put me off or take it personally. I am not going to bother trying to earn her respect, I'm just going to get on with the job and be myself. She acts like she's boss around there but she's on the same level as the rest of us bar the business partner so she may just be trying to put me in my place. I'm going to ignore it. It's really nasty to treat new people like that and I am annoyed Ive spent so much time worrying about it tbh.

  9. #27
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    Ok so I am officially miserable in this job - well, not the work itself but the office dynamics. This one person is making me miserable. The others are all nice but I don't deal with them as much so yep, I'm really feeling more and more uncomfortable every day.

    No wonder so many mums want to start up a WFH business after becoming mums... When you have babies everything changes and you're not as prepared to go back and put up with office politics anymore.

    Ah well, soon I will know what I need to do in my role well enough that I won't need to speak to this other woman much at all. One of the other people in my time just came and chatted to me during my lunch break and was really friendly and lovely... I didn't say anything of course but she did ask how it was all going and also said it is a bit hard at the moment due to upheavals in the team and if I had any questions make sure I ask the 'right people' who will be happy to help... I get the feeling this other girl is known for her attitude... Which means its not just me!

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    I think you should stop giving this girl so much power. What I do when someone is nasty to me is count the number of times they are nasty to me in a day. It gets quite amusing actually and you can have a good old laugh to yourself and they have no idea what your going on about...it sort of disarms them a bit.

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  12. #29
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    I think in time you'll probably find out that everyone hates this girl's guts. In fact, you'll probably end up bonding with the rest of the team over that very fact.

    I know the feeling of returning to work once you're a Mum and not wanting to get involved in office politics all too well. My advice is to just ignore her, don't talk to her unless you absolutely have to from this point on. You've tried to be nice by the sounds of things and she hasn't reciprocated. Her loss. It's impossible to be friends with absolutely everyone in an office. And who knows, she'll probably wake up to herself eventually and come crawling to YOU for help anyway.

  13. #30
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    You poor thing, it really sounds like she is like that to everyone. Still you shouldn't have to put up with her being in a bad mood for whatever reason! She's probably like this towards you because you're new & those who've been there longer are probably able to fob her off easier. Still, it's not a nice environment to be
    in!

    By the sounds of it, I'd guess maybe she's threatened by you? If work got someone to make my work load lighter I'd be so excited!! She should be happy. Maybe she doesn't want to hand control back over?

    I hope she see's you're a nice person & doesn't feel threatened by you. When you're starting out at a job you should be able to ask 1000 questions! I tell our new staff that I'd prefer them to ask if they're not sure. It's harder to fix something that hasn't been done right.

    Stick with it, I hope it gets better soon!!


 

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