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  1. #11
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    Maybe it's just teething problems? Sometimes people can be quite guarded and a bit b!tchy until they feel settled around new people. I'd give her a week or two and if she's still the same then ask her if there's an issue.

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  3. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jakois View Post
    Maybe it's just teething problems? Sometimes people can be quite guarded and a bit b!tchy until they feel settled around new people. I'd give her a week or two and if she's still the same then ask her if there's an issue.
    Yep - this. Not that it excuses her rudeness, but she's probably just used to having certain people in the team (a bit cliquey?) and find it hards to welcome in strangers. Or maybe you're replacing someone that she was particularly close to?

    I would just keep being myself if I were you - don't go out of your way to be overly nice to her. Hopefully she'll warm to you eventually!

  4. #13
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    Ahhhh I bet that's it! She hasn't been buddies with me per se but she is sort of the 'go to' person as she's been there for several years. I might start asking the other senior person in my department a bit more often (not that I bug them much!), but she sits further away so it might be a bit obvious if I'm getting up to go ask her instead.

    The coffee thing did upset me I must admit. But I just told myself not to let it bug me... I had a coffee from the coffee machine earlier so maybe she noticed I'd had one and didn't think to ask... She asked the others very quietly but I heard. When the others go, they ask me to come too.

    Gah, I've never been in this situation before! I get along with most people. I like to think I'm open-minded, accepting and very non-bit.chy. Jakois I hope you're right and that it will be fine in a week or two and doesn't get worse!

  5. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by thepouts View Post
    I don't think you're over reacting at all. It does not sound like a very comfortable work environment. Not that this helps at all but asking everybody if they want a coffee except 1 person (if intentional) is workplace bullying. When I've Been in situations like this in the work place ive always made sure that I'm extra friendly and considerate/helpful and work hard (it sounds like youre already doing all of this). This way I know that it's not "me" that is the problem.
    Actually.... It's not workplace bullying. Fair Work certainly wouldn't think so. And it's not harassment either. However if a regular pattern of similar treatment happens then it definitely could be considered bullying.

    I think it's too early to do anything formal and its most likely just teething problems. See how you go over the next few weeks. If anything major happens then of course you need to discuss with your manager.

    Good luck!

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  7. #15
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    Maybe she wanted your role but didn't get it so she is taking it out on you?

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    Give it some time, but speak to your manager about it definitely, they may have tips.

  9. #17
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    Just reporting back... Today was fine. i think it's just how she is maybe.

    Although she rocked up at the same time as me when I was waiting for the lift this morning and when I said 'hi!' She gave a very dry 'hi' in return... I made conversation with her and she chatted back a bit.

    Anyway I had to work with her today a fair bit and I was in a good mood so just was myself, and she was really friendly back so I was happy with that.

    I think it's just how she is - she is quite buddy buddy with some if the others in our department (HR) so maybe she just takes some time. It's pretty annoying though as I don't get people who are like that. I treat everyone with friendliness especially new people who I try hard to help feel welcomed and included. I'm probably a more thoughtful person.

    Im enjoying the job and the people in general a lot. Hopefully it's all good from here. Thanks all.

  10. #18
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    Hmmm. If she was the go to person before you perhaps you could make a point of asking her advice "hi. I am sorry to bother you when you are busy but I need to know XYZ and with your experience I would really appreciate your help." Flatter her (a little bit dont go overboard) while you're asking for help.

    Regarding the coffee/ cold shoulder just continue to be your normal friendly self. Perhaps get in early tomorrow and ask her/other ladies if they would like to go for a coffee. As a result of your friendliness either the cold lady will defrost or the other ladies will realise what's going on and include you anyway.

    You will be one of the gang in no time
    Last edited by VicPark; 27-02-2013 at 19:48.

  11. #19
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    This is typical woman behavior in the workplace.

    I'm yet to work in a industry or workplace where women weren't a**holes to each other.
    High school never strays far in a women dominated office.

    I can't wait to leave my job just because of the way the women behave and b*tch about one another.

    It really is horrific and I feel for you OP, unless something changes in these early stages its likely to change.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Twoalready View Post
    This is typical woman behavior in the workplace.

    I'm yet to work in a industry or workplace where women weren't a**holes to each other.
    High school never strays far in a women dominated office.

    I can't wait to leave my job just because of the way the women behave and b*tch about one another.

    It really is horrific and I feel for you OP, unless something changes in these early stages its likely to change.
    Wow. I couldn't agree less based on my experience in law firms. I've found the women I worked with amazingly supportive and wonderful. I felt like my colleagues had my back and I had theirs. Must depend on the workplace.

    OP I completely agree with VicPark. Keep being your charming self and don't let her get the better of you. You'll get there in no time.

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