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  1. #1
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    Default Am I overreacting? Girl at work

    I've just started a new job - it's all great, great company, close to home, great offices and very professional, nice people yada yada....

    But! One of the girls I work closely with, well I feel like she may be trying to intimidate me. I'm not sure, it could just be her (moody, seems annoyed when I ask a question, rather abrupt at times). I left today (early day yay!) feeling rather glum about the job because of her.

    For example, she bangs things around her desk and if I ask a question she sometimes seems quite annoyed or just answers in a way that shows me up in front of the others (like I should already know or something/short blasé answer that doesn't really help me). Today she didn't speak to me at all but involved the others in team in conversation and asked everyone if they want coffee from the cafe except me.

    I wouldn't care about this type of behaviour normally and maybe I'm being over-sensitive but it's starting to make me wonder if she doesn't like me (even though its been only a week!)

    I said her name incorrectly on my first day - I said it like it's spelt but apparently it's pronounced differently. She immediately said 'I HATE when people call me that' and I apologised (this was all rather friendly though and we laughed about it). She is friendly at times, just seems really rude other times.

    How should I handle this? I have to work rather closely with this girl although more so at the moment until I can have more autonomy over my own role.

    She doesn't seem to be like this with anyone else, just me. Not sure how to handle it. I'm very friendly! And I'm no threat to her role at all!

  2. #2
    Allymumtobe's Avatar
    Allymumtobe is offline Winner 2012 - Most Optimistic Poster
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    I'd say she's intimidated by you and wants everyone to think you aren't as good as her. I have a couple girls like that at me new job too.

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    LifeInShadesOfGrey is offline Just a little bit silly :)
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    Quote Originally Posted by Allymumtobe View Post
    I'd say she's intimidated by you and wants everyone to think you aren't as good as her. I have a couple girls like that at me new job too.
    This exactly!


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    Eko is offline Acrobatic Dominatrix.
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    Perhaps she's had some of her work taken over by you and is misdirecting her annoyance at you? She may also feel like you're a threat to her. It sounds like she's ok some of the time which leads me to think it's more likely something like that than her actually being a nasty person.

    Give her some time, perhaps she's just feeling a bit misplaced.

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    αληθη is offline BH name read as Aleethee
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    Perhaps she's stressed and was doing some of your work before you came along? She could also just be a beach. I worked with a lady who was so completely rude to me and she was the reason I ended up quitting. She was in a much higher role than me, wouldn't do all her work so I picked up her pieces and she didnt like that.


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    Quote Originally Posted by Allymumtobe View Post
    I'd say she's intimidated by you and wants everyone to think you aren't as good as her. I have a couple girls like that at me new job too.
    Thanks Allmumtobe - she is definitely not intimidated by me! But I do get the impression she may be quite a competitive person (?) I have loads more experience than her in general, but she is far more knowledgable regarding the company and the system/their pricesses etc than me (and I don't question that). She started out as a filing temp and worked her way up. I am quite sure she's not intimidated by me though... I'm older than her too... I don't know what it could be!

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    Yes... She has picked up a lot of the slack for *my* role as the last person had to more-or-less leave urgently sue to a family illness (hence they got me in). So that could be it, by why direct it at me I'm there to take over the workload...

    The others are very nice though so I guess I'll just have to ignore it/brush it off and hope its really nothing.

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    Quote Originally Posted by MeetTheBluths View Post
    Yes... She has picked up a lot of the slack for *my* role as the last person had to more-or-less leave urgently sue to a family illness (hence they got me in). So that could be it, by why direct it at me I'm there to take over the workload...
    Maybe she's jealous and wanted to stand out as amazing doing all the work and doing it well, and then you come along and stop her trying to stand out and show off (even though you didn't mean to, but like, she's not getting recognition from the company for what she did?) and so now she takes it out on you because of her jealous



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    Has she been 'buddied' with you until you are settled into the job? If so perhaps she resents the fact that she has to baby sit you, in a way. Maybe she thinks a manager or something should be doing it instead of her?

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    I don't think you're over reacting at all. It does not sound like a very comfortable work environment. Not that this helps at all but asking everybody if they want a coffee except 1 person (if intentional) is workplace bullying. When I've Been in situations like this in the work place ive always made sure that I'm extra friendly and considerate/helpful and work hard (it sounds like youre already doing all of this). This way I know that it's not "me" that is the problem.

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