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    Default Reaching out

    Hello anyone and everyone. I'm here after a long 9 months of hell (since my son was born) that I don't know will improve or not. I've been dealing with psychiatrists hospitals and counselling but am back at square one again. My husband says I probably need contact with other mothers going through the same thing so that's why I'm here. It can't hurt that's for sure! I haven't been this low since going into the hospital when bub was 5 months. I'm not hopeful that going back would solve anything this time. ECT has been discussed and I'm really considering it if it can get me out of this hole. I've looked into support groups here but they are too far. I figure bub hub is right at my computer! I will be reading and posting around ..
    rebecca

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    Gothel is offline Skip the drama, stay with Mama!
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    Default Re: Reaching out

    Hi Rebecca, good on you for having the courage to reach out. It sounds like you have been having a rough time. Where are you at now with treatment?
    I've had PND for a long time now, my youngest is almost 4 so I guess I can't even call it PND any more. I have found I go through up & downs. I have just started with a new counsellor who I think is promising tho its hard to tell. Are you happy with your counselling so far?

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    It sounds like you have had a really tough time. PPD was awful for me, thankfully it is only a distant memory now. I hope you find effective help, you shouldn't have to live with such a horrible illness.

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    Thanks Gothel and schmetterling18 for the welcome. My treatment has been all over the place. I have bipolar disorder and was initially treated for mania. I had stopped taking my usual medications in order to do those 3 hourly feeds (the meds made me sleep too much). So when LO was 4 months I went into a mother baby unit to switch medications and stabilise. 3 weeks later I was a new woman. Then two weeks later after coming home I slipped into depression to the point where I couldn't take care of my son. It isn't certain if that was just a depression period following mania or if it was PND. After 2 weeks I was stable enough to go home. It has been a struggle since then and I thought I was slowly getting better but now that I look back my anxiety has been slowly getting more extreme. I've finally started into counselling and have my second appointment next week. It's not as often as I would like but I like her methods and am hopeful that I am with the right person. Hope in general is something I am losing. I've delt with suicidal feelings before but it is so different knowing that I have a little person who depends on me. I can't just run around making decisions for myself like that, it's not just me anymore! I'm more in tune with my emotions than ever and I know now that I am struggling to connect with my son. He is allergic to milk and only recently did we find out that that was what was making him so irritable (blood curdling screaming 6 hours a day). I have spent all these months so focused on figuring out what was wrong with him that I never noticed how unattached I am with him. Now that he is a happy baby I thought we would be a happy family. There is a whole range of emotions to do with my son that I never addressed just due to blaming my depression on bipolar disorder.
    Well... That's where I'm at and a bit of history. Thanks again
    rebecca


 

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